Q: How often do you joke about elements?
A: Only periodically
Search found 51 matches
- Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:12 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
- Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:09 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I lost an electron
You should really keep an ion them
You should really keep an ion them
- Fri Mar 09, 2018 1:08 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call an acid with attitude?
A: a-mean-o-acid
A: a-mean-o-acid
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:05 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.
A: To neutralize the enemy base.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:01 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Joke
- Replies: 57
- Views: 5379
Re: Chemistry Joke
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
- Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:49 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze
A: Fe-breeze
- Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:49 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
- Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:46 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon
A: Because all his friends Argon
- Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
- Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:21 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
- Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:21 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:59 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
WATER
WATER
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:57 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
why do chemists like nitrates so much?
because its cheaper than day rates
because its cheaper than day rates
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:56 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion
A dogion
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:10 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I Heard Oxygen And Magnesium Were Going Out
And I was like OMg
And I was like OMg
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:09 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar
Because it was polar
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 3:08 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what kind of dogs do chemists get?
a LABrador retriever
a LABrador retriever
- Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:23 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
- Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
- Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" and he died.
- Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:02 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
- Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:39 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm reading a chemistry book about helium.
I can't put it down.
I can't put it down.
- Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:18 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic...
How ionic...
- Thu Jan 11, 2018 5:28 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a scientific plant?
A: Chemis-tree.
A: Chemis-tree.
- Thu Jan 11, 2018 5:26 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
- Thu Jan 11, 2018 5:24 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
A: Never lick the spoon!
- Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:30 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a cation afraid of?
a dogion
a dogion
- Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:29 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I make bad jokes... but only periodically
- Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:29 am
- Forum: Bronsted Acids & Bases
- Topic: Dissociated/ deprotonated
- Replies: 1
- Views: 586
Dissociated/ deprotonated
IS dissociated the same as saying that it deprotonated? The course reader uses dissociated and the book uses deprotonated. Do these both mean that the acid or base are fully broken apart as products?
- Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:42 am
- Forum: Acidity & Basicity Constants and The Conjugate Seesaw
- Topic: Value of Kw
- Replies: 1
- Views: 573
Value of Kw
The value of Kw for water at body temperature (37°C) is 2.1 X 10^-14. (a)What is the molarity of H3O+ ions and the pH of neutral water at 37°C? (b) What is the molarity of OH- in neutral water at 37"C?
How would I approach part (a) and (b)?
How would I approach part (a) and (b)?
- Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:40 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Let's take all the bad jokes and "Barium"!
- Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The name is Bond.... Ionic Bond...
Taken, not shared
Taken, not shared
- Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:39 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date...
It was OK
It was OK
- Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:37 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: want to hear a joke about sodium
A: Na
A: Na
- Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:06 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.
A: I've got my ion you.
- Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
- Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
- Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:05 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
A: BaNa2
- Mon Jul 10, 2017 3:47 pm
- Forum: Trends in The Periodic Table
- Topic: Comparison of electron affinity of Nitrogen and Carbon
- Replies: 2
- Views: 707
Comparison of electron affinity of Nitrogen and Carbon
According to the periodic trend, Nitrogen should have a higher electron affinity than Carbon. But once you check the electron affinities of each atom, Carbon's electron affinity is higher than that of Nitrogen. Does this have to do with the unpaired valence electrons in Carbon and the one paired val...
- Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:13 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
- Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:08 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
A: CoFe2
- Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:06 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
- Wed Jul 05, 2017 9:51 am
- Forum: Electron Configurations for Multi-Electron Atoms
- Topic: Electron configuration for Copper and and Chromium
- Replies: 1
- Views: 358
Electron configuration for Copper and and Chromium
Why does the electron configuration for Copper and Chromium seem to not obey the rules (i.e. why isn't the electron configuration for Copper isn't [Ar] 4s^2 3d^9 and Chromium isn't [Ar] 4s^2 3d^4? ) Thanks!
- Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:16 am
- Forum: Bohr Frequency Condition, H-Atom , Atomic Spectroscopy
- Topic: Bohr Frequency Condition
- Replies: 1
- Views: 293
Bohr Frequency Condition
I understand the equation part of the Bohr Frequency Condition, but what does this exactly establish conceptually? How does this help with atomic spectroscopy?
- Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:15 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3863112
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
- Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:42 pm
- Forum: Properties of Light
- Topic: energy required to remove an electron [ENDORSED]
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3930
energy required to remove an electron [ENDORSED]
I am having a tough time calculating the energy required to remove an electron from a sodium atom. The given information includes the ejected electron's velocity v = 6.61 x 10^5 m/s and sodium's work function = 150.6 kJ/mol. How do I approach this question?
- Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:04 pm
- Forum: SI Units, Unit Conversions
- Topic: Exercise E1 [ENDORSED]
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1340
Re: Exercise E1 [ENDORSED]
first convert the moles into atoms, since the question gives you the radius of the atom. So use the Avogadro's number to convert 1 mole to 6.22 x 10^23 and from there multiply it by the diameter of the atom to determine the length of the fiber