Search found 39 matches
- Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:54 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.
- Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:53 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Want to be my substrate/enzyme?
- Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:44 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You be Flourine and I'll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron
- Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:23 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
We have great chemistry, lets do some biology
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:56 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
Breaking up is hard to do.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:55 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.
He was 0k.
He was 0k.
- Sun Mar 04, 2018 4:55 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.
How ionic.
- Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium? A: HeHe.
- Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Barium
- Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:22 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a scientific plant? A: Chemis-tree.
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:31 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:31 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers
A: Laboratory Retrievers
- Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:30 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:11 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:11 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
- Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:10 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
- Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
- Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
- Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:57 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2
- Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.
A: A silicon.
- Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
- Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:15 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
- Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:41 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
- Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:41 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
- Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:39 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
- Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:32 am
- Forum: Bronsted Acids & Bases
- Topic: 12.9 (c)
- Replies: 1
- Views: 420
12.9 (c)
Why is (c) CH3COOH(aq) + NH3(aq) -> CH3CONH2(aq) + H2O(l) not considered a proton transfer?
- Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:10 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
- Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:09 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
A: They bonded well from the minute they met
- Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:09 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.
- Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:08 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A: A one molar solution.
- Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:44 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon
Carbon
- Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:43 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar
Because it was polar
- Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:26 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
These jokes are sodium funny!
- Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:25 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
- Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:24 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
- Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:52 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
- Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:52 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."
- Sun Oct 22, 2017 12:51 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
- Sun Oct 22, 2017 12:50 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3589391
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.
A: H2O.