CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.

He said, "Si."

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What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

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What do you call a scientific plant?

Chemis-tree.

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The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

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Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution.

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A neutron walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge"

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As part of our chemistry coursework, everyone in my class had to create a glue strong enough to stick a wooden chair to the wall.

The teacher said my effort was the best.

I nailed it.

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did anyone take pictures of solutions?

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Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon

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What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

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Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now

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Old chemists never die…
They just stop reacting!

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What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

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Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base!

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

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A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light.

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Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

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Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

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Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: ” Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am”.

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What can you make with 6.023 x 1023 avocados? Guacamole

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The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

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Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

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Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

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If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H-two-O-CUBED

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

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The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.

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The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

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Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

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What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

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What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

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thank you!

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thank you!

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I still find it diffilcult to distinguish between polarization and polarizing power.

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Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

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Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

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Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

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I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

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What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

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Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

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A question that I still cannot figure out is using the VSPR model to explain what molecules have a net dipole?? The molecules are O3 and I3-

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On the example tetraamminediaquacobalt(III) bromide I'm confused as to why the Bromide is written as Br3?

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okay thank you!

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In the compound [Fe(CN)6]4- in the sixth edition textbook the answer is expressed as hexacyanidoferrate(II), so how is iron ferrate?? Does the name of all metals change??

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates.

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Did you read the book about Helium? I heard you can't put it down.

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What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

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okay thank you guys!

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My discussion section is on Friday so does anyone know how do I go about turning in this week's homework assignment???

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What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.

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Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

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Every dipole has its moment.

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Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

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What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

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Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

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Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

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Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

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Why shouldn't you trust atoms? They make up everything!

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When it comes to energy of a photon, there is a specific equation to calculate it right??

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