CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

pavel1E

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

(that didn't come out well ): )

pavel1E

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

pavel1E

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

pavel1E

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

pavel1E

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

pavel1E

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

pavel1E

We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.

pavel1E

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

pavel1E

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

pavel1E

Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

pavel1E

What is the chemical formula for sea water? CH2O!

pavel1E

What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

pavel1E

If you're not part of the solution…you're part of the precipitate.

pavel1E

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

pavel1E

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

pavel1E

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

pavel1E

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

pavel1E

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI!

pavel1E

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

pavel1E

I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don't think I'll be in my element.

pavel1E

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

pavel1E

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.

pavel1E

Why are chemists great for solving problems? Because they always have a solution!

pavel1E

What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C? Nothing, you're perfectly 0K!

pavel1E

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

pavel1E

Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

pavel1E

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

pavel1E

Why was the mole of nitrogen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? Because he got Avogadro's number!

pavel1E

What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!

pavel1E

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

pavel1E

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

pavel1E

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

pavel1E

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

pavel1E

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

pavel1E

A neutron walks into a club. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

pavel1E

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!

pavel1E

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

pavel1E

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down!

pavel1E

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

pavel1E

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

pavel1E

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

pavel1E

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

pavel1E

Hi! Okay so there are only two leftover electrons because the molecule has a +1 charge. Cl is therefore surrounded by 3 "things," aka regions of electron density (one for each double bond to oxygen and one for the lone pair on Cl). The lone pair on Cl makes it trigonal planar. Hope that c...

pavel1E

(b) What is the expected OClO bond angle. I understand that it is slightly less than 120 degrees due to the repulsion force by the lone electrons but is the center atom, Cl, surrounded by 3 "things" or 4? I know it's 2 because both bonds made by O but there are 3 left over Valence Electron...

pavel1E

Haven't you heard?
Word on the block is that my chemistry jokes are Sodium good! He He He He

pavel1E

I started calling my boyfriend Atom because he always made everything up when I asked who he was with late evenings.

pavel1E

Whenever I try to tell a Chemistry joke to my deaf cousin there isn't a reaction. )=

pavel1E

A. Do you wanna hear a Chemistry joke?

B. Na

A. Helium Helium Helium
(He He He)

pavel1E

"Light hits a sodium metal surface and the velocity of the ejected electron is 6.61 x 105 m.s-1. The work function for sodium is 150.6 kJ.mol-1. B. How much energy is required to remove an electron from one sodium atom? " I understand the process is: 150,600J/mol x 1mol/(6.022E23 atoms) = ...

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