CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

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Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY

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Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

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Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocados number.

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An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

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Q: What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
A: HOH, HOH, HOH!

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Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

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Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

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A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

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"Close the window, you're letting the cold in"

"well... actually the second law of Thermodynamics states that heat goes out"

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Never trust atoms. They make everything up.

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Did you hear oxygen and magnesium are dating? OMg!

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

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Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?

I hear he was 0k.

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My two kids, Nitrogen and silver want that new Xbox, their always NAg’ing for it.

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Does anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na.

Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

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Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

Answer: Because they have all the solutions.

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What is the most important chemistry rule?

Never lick the spoon!

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.

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What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

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Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphourous walk into a room, everyone says OH SNaP!

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Wanna hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

Na Bro

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Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, " Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but at least I know where I am"

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Activation Energy: the total energy found in one (1) cup of coffee.

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Two protons bump into each other at a frat party, one proton frat-boy says to the other, 'No HOMO'.

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The names bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

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What did sulfuric acid say when pyridine took one of her protons? "Hey, that's amine thing to do!"

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Oh my [censored], I didnt even think of that. Thanks so much!

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Hi everyone, I was going through the textbook and looking at some examples, such as Example 4A.3 Calculating the heat required to bring about an increase in temperature a.) How much energy is required to heat the water? Calculate the heat necessary to increase the temperature of 100 g. of water from...

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I tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

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Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

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Thanks so much everyone for the help!

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Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?

I hear he was 0k.

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Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating?

OMg!

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Could someone explain in depth the steam graph that Dr. Lavelle used in class to explain why steam causes sever burns?

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Okay thanks so much everyone!

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Thank you so much everyone!

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Wow thank you guys so much, makes a bunch of sense

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What exactly is Le Chatelier principles and its relevancy to this course?

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Could someone explain and describe the relevancy of autoprotolysis to the course?

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Hi everyone,

in lecture and in hw problems, I've seen the ICE table be used multiple times but I get confused when they assign X to change in molarity and equilibrium molarity, such as in problem 5l.15 from the hw. Could someone go step by step to explain how to solve these problems?

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Thanks so much!

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Oh okay thanks! that makes sense

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Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

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Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask how to pronounce the word “unionized”.

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Can someone explain the concept of Gibbs Free Energy in chemistry?

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Hi everyone, I have a question from a worksheet in discussion 1.) For a reaction given below, 2.00 moles of A and 3.00 moles of B are placed in a 6.00 L container. At equilibrium, the concentration of A is 0.303 mol/L. What is the concentration of B at equilibrium? I'm not sure how to organize and u...

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why do the call Helium Barium and Curium the medical elements
Because if you cant Helium or Curium then you Barium

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Why are long-distance relationships harder?
The force of attraction is weaker as distance increases.

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What did the hydrogen atom say to the other atom?
I think we should bond

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Could someone summarize the importance of acid rain in chemistry/this course? It would be super helpful. Thanks!

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Do you think we should memorize the polyatomic ions for the exam? I don't remember Lavelle ever bringing it up in lecture

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Hi everyone,

what do you think should be the main examples we should know for the exam?

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Hey guys, do you have any special ways to memorize how to name compounds? I'm super lost on how to even get started.

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I try to avoid any high energy drinks the day of the exam and get a lot of sleep. I also don't think you should study the day of and just relax and pretend you didn't have an exam, which is easier said than done. If all else fails, just remember once you finish the exam you're finally done with the ...

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Thanks so much everyone, I understand it now!

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Why is CCCL3COOH, pKa 0.52 a stronger acid than CH3COOH, pKa 4.75

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I would give you one, but all the good ones Argon.

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What do chemists call a party where human-human interactions are negligible?

Ideal!

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Let's take alle these Bad Chemistry Jokes

and Barium!

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Call 911 on your sulfone, because I'm diene.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for some H2O the man next to him says he’ll have some H2O too but he dies.

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Never trust an atom.

They make up everything.

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A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"

To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

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its 180 points

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Yeah id say doing all the hw problems is ur best bet

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Hi everyone, Questions 2D.9 says to arrange the cations Rb +, Be 2+, and Sr 2+ in order of increasing polarizing power. Explain your reasoning. I understand why Rb+ is lowest in polarizing power, but can someone explain in more detail on why Sr is lower than Be? Is it because Be is higher in ionizat...

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2D.3 States: Which of these compounds has bonds that are primarily ionic?
A.) BBr3
B.) BaBr2
C.) BeBr2

Why is C not an ionic bond? Isn't Be a metal?

Thanks!

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Hi For question 2C.3: Draw the Lewis structure, including typical contributions to the resonance structure (where appropriate, allow for the possibility of octet expansion, including double bonds in different positions), for a.) periodate ion b.) hydrogen phosphate ion c.) chloric acid d.) arsenate ...

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Hi guys,

I saw that Br has the exceptions for the octet rule, allowing it to have more than 8 valence electrons because it is in period 4. What are any other exceptions I should know about?

Thanks!

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Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

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A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"

To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

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What's a pirates favourite amino acid?

Arrrrrrrginine

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Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

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Two Chemists walk into a bar, one says to the bartender, “I’ll have a H20 please” the other chemist says to the bartender “I’ll have H20 too.” The second chemist dies. This is because the bartender misunderstood him and thought he said H202

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I believe that it must have 8 valence electrons to be stable!

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highly recommend Khan Academy too!

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Oh okay, thanks so much for your help!

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Ohhh, okay thanks so much for your help!

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Thanks so much, everyone, for your help in clearing up my confusion!

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Hi everybody, Here is the question as follows: The hydrogen atom has a radius of approximately 0.05 nm. Assume that we know the position of an electron to an accuracy of 1 % of the hydrogen radius, calculate the uncertainty in the speed of the electron using the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. So ...

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I think he should start teaching it by the end of week 4, beginning of week 5

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Oh that makes sense, thanks so much!

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Hi Everyone, I know that Dr. Lavelle goes super in-depth when deriving equations, such as the DeBrogile, and I'm assuming he does so that we can get a better understanding of what it does. I was wondering how important it was for us to 100% know how to derive the equation. Is it fine if we have the ...

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Hi everybody! I have a question regarding question 14. on the wave properties of electrons modules which is: When the trough of one wave interacts with the trough of another wave is their interaction constructive or destructive? The module says the answer is constructive, but I thought that when a t...

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Hi everybody!

Do we know what the midterm is going to cover? Is it just going to be fundamentals and the quantum world?

Thanks!

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You're a 10... on the pH scale because you're basic.

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Don't ask for chemistry jokes, because you'll never get a reaction.

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What do you do with dead chemists? Ya barium.

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Photons have mass?

I didnt know they were catholic!

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How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Change your name to "et al".

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Yes, I believe that Lavelle specifically stated the c= speed of light is always a constant. Atleast in this class.

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Thanks! Could you also explain why each of the other answers is wrong?

Thanks so much!

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Hi everyone! I have a question on whether I should read all the chapters and take notes on them AND then do the homework, or just do the homework while disregarding the readings. I heard that the quantum world is very conceptual, but it is a lot of readings that I would rather not do if it's not hel...

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yes! I do recommend memorizing angstroms! its an important conversion and is likely to be on the test!

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Hi everyone! I was wondering if someone could go in-depth about explaining 1b.3? Here's the question: From the following list of observations, select the one that best supports the idea that electromagnetic radiation has the properties of particles. Explain your reasoning. A.) Black body radiation B...

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