CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Hey want to hear a joke about potassium?... K

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What do you do with a dead scientist? You barium. That's if you can't helium or curium.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold"

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Are you 11 protons?
'Cause you are sodium fine.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What is the fastest way to determine the inappropriate word of a chromosome?

A: Pull down its genes.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”

“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned. The biolog...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”

“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What’s the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Old chemists never die, they simply stop reacting.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

This was such a helpful post, I feel a lot better after reading it! :)

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Kevin Pilcher 3J

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

You'l for sure get points and even if you can't find a helpful thread, you can always post a chem joke on the joke's thread! :)

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but I only update them.... periodically!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What do you do with a sick chemist?
-If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
-CSI

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Kevin Pilcher 3J

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

Kevin Pilcher 3J

If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

One thing I've found is that it normally doesn't matter how we feel after the midterm. Even if you feel great about it, sometimes you end up bombing. On the contrary, you may feel terrible but end up doing great! I've found it's best not to wonder and hope for the best. If the results don't end up b...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The smaller the difference in electronegativity, the more covalent the bond. Based on this we can infer that the bigger the difference in electronegativity, the more ionic the bond.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

For the purposes of this class, we only need to know about sigma and pi bonds. Delta bonds also exist but we won't see those in Chem 14A.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Hydrogen can never be the central atom in a molecule because it simply has too few electrons. Since it only has one it will forever be the bonding atom and not the central atom.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The key thing I look for is symmetry in the molecule and after that, I look at the charges. If there is symmetry in both the bonds and charges within the molecule it is likely nonpolar.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Just check the number of times you've posted on the right of the screen.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

60% Textbook review, 20% sapling, and 20% reviewing my notes

Kevin Pilcher 3J

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A TA just informed my classmate that this class will be curved so it may vary at the end of the quarter.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Considering we have veterans day off, I'm assuming all classes and discussions are canceled.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Breathing techniques and warm tea always help me when I'm feeling anxious. If you have the time, try taking a nap while you're wrapped up in a nice blanket.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

One show that caught my eye lately was the Boys on amazon prime. I finished both seasons in one week and it did not disappoint! 10/10 would recommend.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

BREATHING EXERCISES AND HOT TEA. An hour before my final I did some breathing techniques and drank some hot tea, it helped SO MUCH.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I already had the midterm and my phone was sufficient.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I'd try breathing exercises if you want to calm down. If you're only talking about casual relaxation, I would try watching anime if you haven't gotten into it.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Yeah, I would expect them to come out at the end of this week considering they don't want test scores to be released before everyone has taken the test.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

If you're anything like me, you LOVE Lavelle's end of lecture puns. I wanted to make a page where we can collect cheesy jokes to make Dr. Lavelle chuckle or use in office hours :)

Kevin Pilcher 3J

You actually don't need one anymore! You can zoom on your phone :)

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The midterm will be during your discussion and it's all multiple choice.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I am going to go through the textbook and sapling questions. Any question I'm confused, I'm going to read up on them.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

I think Rydberg's constant should be a positive since in this specific problem we're trying to figure out which n the electron is going to from the ground state of n=1 which is gaining energy not losing it. We only do a negative when were trying to figure out the energy that is emitted from the ele...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

In the ultraviolet spectrum of atomic hydrogen, a line is observed at 102.6 nm. Determine the values of n for the initial and final energy levels of the electron during the emission of energy that leads to this spectral line. I found the frequency but when I plug it into the Rydberg formula I'm not ...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Calculate the wavelength of the radiation emitted by a hydrogen atom when an electron makes a transition from n = 4 to n = 2.

How would we do the proper conversions to get the wavelength considering we already know the energy per photon from the previous question?

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Yes, you should 100% use a calculator. A key thing that most people forget is parenthesis so don't forget!

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The crucible is the vessel that allows for this reaction, however, the mass of the product is all we want to look at when answering this Empirical Formula question. Subtracting 26.45g (mass of crucible) from 28.35g (mass of crucible + mass of product) means that we are left with just the mass of th...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

A 1.50-g sample of metallic tin was placed in a 26.45-g crucible and heated until all the tin had reacted with the oxygen in air to form an oxide. The crucible and product together were found to weigh 28.35 g. (a) What is the empirical formula of the oxide? (b) Write the name of the oxide. To get th...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

The solid fuel in the booster stage of the space shuttle is a mixture of ammonium perchlorate and aluminum powder. Upon ignition, the reaction that takes place is 6NH4ClO4(s)+10Al(s)→5Al2O3(s)+3N2(g)+6HCl(g)+9H2O(g). (a) What mass of aluminum should be mixed with 1.325 kg of NH4ClO4 for this reactio...

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Basic conversions should be memorized but if there are any uncommon ones I'm sure it'll be given.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

It's always better to be safe, especially in a chem class. You should definitely check to see that it is balanced before moving on.

Kevin Pilcher 3J

Yes they're the same thing. Mol is just a shorter way of saying mole. I don't know why it's that hard to add the "e" but I guess it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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