CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

vbarian27

Teacher: Do you know your elements? Student: yeah, maybe... Teacher: isotope so.

vbarian27

Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine.

vbarian27

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? OMg

vbarian27

I am a female, Fe = Iron and Male = man Therefore, I am Iron Man.

vbarian27

Knock Knock, Who's There? Beryl. Beryl who? Beryl and Lium

vbarian27

I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! (Na)

vbarian27

What do you do to dead elements? You barium.

vbarian27

Sooo I was gonna tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen......but NaH.

vbarian27

Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Only the Catholic ones!

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Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi ( beauty)

vbarian27

You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix.

vbarian27

What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him)

vbarian27

A wrestler holding down an opponent may have a NEON him.

vbarian27

are you hydrogen? Why? Because I can't live without you.

vbarian27

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.

vbarian27

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.

vbarian27

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

vbarian27

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

vbarian27

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

vbarian27

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

vbarian27

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!

vbarian27

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

vbarian27

Q: Why didn't the physics and biology teachers get along?
A: They had no chemistry.

vbarian27

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

vbarian27

Famous last words from chemists:
"And now for the taste test..."
"And now let's shake it a bit..."
"Which glass was my mineral water?"

vbarian27

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

vbarian27

Q: If H20 is water what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .

vbarian27

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI!

vbarian27

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

vbarian27

I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don't think I'll be in my element.

vbarian27

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded.

vbarian27

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.

vbarian27

What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

vbarian27

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

vbarian27

What element is a girl's future best friend? Carbon!

vbarian27

If you're not part of the solution…you're part of the precipitate.

vbarian27

What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

vbarian27

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

vbarian27

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”

vbarian27

Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

vbarian27

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

vbarian27

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down.

vbarian27

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

vbarian27

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

vbarian27

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

vbarian27

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

vbarian27

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

vbarian27

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

vbarian27

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

vbarian27

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

vbarian27

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

vbarian27

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

vbarian27

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

vbarian27

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

vbarian27

Not sure, but from the last midterms, a lot of the test questions were exactly the same or at least derived from book problems so to be safe, I would go over as many book problems as possible (that REALLY helped me get through the midterms smoothly as well) thank you! I agree though, doing the text...

vbarian27

almost_ethan wrote:Does anyone know how many questions are going to be on the final?

30!

vbarian27

In Dr. Lavelle's email regarding the final exam, he said: "Quantum was our biggest section. Questions will come from the textbook homework listed in the syllabus."
Does that mean quantum questions will come from the textbook homework or ALL final questions will come from textbook homework?

vbarian27

Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

vbarian27

Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.

vbarian27

I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

vbarian27

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid

vbarian27

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything

vbarian27

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

vbarian27

Q: What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?
A: CoFe2

vbarian27

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

vbarian27

How about the chemical workers … are they unionized?

vbarian27

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

vbarian27

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…

…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

vbarian27

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

vbarian27

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

vbarian27

if you study a lot, you will do well. be confident!

vbarian27

do all your work for the week so that you can have a full weekend to relax!

vbarian27

I am so worried for midterm 2. ugh.

vbarian27

I still don't understand how they did partial credit on the multiple choice midterm.

vbarian27

acids accept bases donate. I remember it by thinking a for acid goes with a for accept and the b and the d for base and donate are symmetrical

vbarian27

yea just a mistake don't worry!

vbarian27

I think the instructions will be clear of what they want, but in general when dealing with a structure with resonance you ideally want the molecule with a total charge closest to zero

vbarian27

Chemistry is Fluorine Uranium Nitrogen

vbarian27

Water says to oil, wanna hang out! Oil says, he can't! Water then yells at oil, hydrophobe!

vbarian27

I slapped my neon that joke!

vbarian27

That joke was sodium funny!

vbarian27

What did the other elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!

vbarian27

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

vbarian27

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

vbarian27

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

vbarian27

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK

vbarian27

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

vbarian27

about 10 questions!

vbarian27

about 10!

vbarian27

I got a) 13.5 mL b)62.5mL and c) 5.92mL

vbarian27

I am looking at the solution manual and I don't understand how adding 3.0L of water to the solution would give a new concentration of 0.050M. Help

vbarian27

I think every problem will have adequate information to solve the problem. I wouldn't worry if there are going to be graphs or not.

vbarian27

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

vbarian27

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

vbarian27

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

vbarian27

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

vbarian27

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

vbarian27

What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

vbarian27

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.

vbarian27

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

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