You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How Ionic.
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great day rates, Even better NO3's"
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
Au Revoir
Search found 21 matches
- Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:14 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
- Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:38 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did you do with element 43 last night?
None of your Bismuth
What happens to nitrogen when there's sunlight?
It becomes daytrogen
What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CSI
None of your Bismuth
What happens to nitrogen when there's sunlight?
It becomes daytrogen
What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CSI
- Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:31 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
- Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:34 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small furry animal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 1023. We can't serve a mole."
Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?
Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?
- Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:17 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic stuff. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well from the minute they met A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said...
- Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:21 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
We hope your year is very phosphorous.
:)
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
We hope your year is very phosphorous.
:)
- Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:41 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a politician? Ask them to pronounce "unionized" Have you heard the one about the girl with the initials P B? She was easily mislead Never trust an atom, they make up everythi...
- Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:18 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
He said NaBrO
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
- Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:11 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the chemical form for Coffee?
CoFe2
Um- The atomic symbol for confusion
My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg
CoFe2
Um- The atomic symbol for confusion
My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg
- Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:57 am
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes.. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
- Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:04 pm
- Forum: Bronsted Acids & Bases
- Topic: Chapter 12 Question 9
- Replies: 1
- Views: 495
Chapter 12 Question 9
In the solutions manual for this problem, it describes how in parts (a) (B) and (d) all have a proton transferred from NH4+ to a base. For example, in part (a) it states the NH4+ acid transfers a proton to H20, the base, but both are reactants. I thought acids are supposed to transfer protons ot pro...
- Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:06 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
- Replies: 9651
- Views: 3955330
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
- Tue Nov 08, 2016 4:43 pm
- Forum: *Molecular Orbital Theory (Bond Order, Diamagnetism, Paramagnetism)
- Topic: Ch 4 Question 67 [ENDORSED]
- Replies: 1
- Views: 596
Ch 4 Question 67 [ENDORSED]
This problem in the textbook asks whether C2+, C2, or C2- is expected to have the lowest ionization energy. The solutions manual states that based off of their electron configurations, C2- is expected to have the lowest ionization energy because its electron is lost from a higher energy MO than eith...
- Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:08 am
- Forum: Dipole Moments
- Topic: Question 7.C 2010 Midterm Practice Exam
- Replies: 1
- Views: 523
Question 7.C 2010 Midterm Practice Exam
In the practice 2010 midterm for question 7 part c they ask if the molecule H2CBr2 is polar or nonpolar. I thought it was nonpolar because the Hydrogen and Bromine's are evenly on opposite sides of each other, so wouldn't their charges cancel out? The solutions answer says it's a polar molecule and ...
- Wed Oct 26, 2016 2:59 pm
- Forum: Hybridization
- Topic: Chapter 4 Question 35
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1250
Chapter 4 Question 35
For part D of this question it asks to identify the hybrid orbitals used by the atom Se in SeF3+. The answer solution says it is sp3, but sp3 is for tetrahedral and wouldn't this species not be a tetrahedral because there are only three regions of electron density? Not sure if I am misunderstanding ...
- Tue Oct 25, 2016 7:38 am
- Forum: Electron Configurations for Multi-Electron Atoms
- Topic: Electron Configuration for Ru
- Replies: 1
- Views: 4162
Electron Configuration for Ru
Does anyone understand why Ruthenium's (Ru) electron configuration is 4d7 5s1? Is this more stable than it would be to be 4d6 5s2?
Thanks!
Thanks!
- Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:31 am
- Forum: Trends in The Periodic Table
- Topic: Chapter 2 Question 43
- Replies: 1
- Views: 459
Re: Chapter 2 Question 43
This is a follow up question.. So I understand why the f shell is filled to the 14 (since there are 20 valence electrons) but wouldn't the d shell want to be 5d^5 to be more stable and the configuration would be 4f^14 5d^5 6s^1. Isn't this more stable? Because its actual electron configuration is 4f...
- Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:26 am
- Forum: Trends in The Periodic Table
- Topic: Chapter 2 Question 43
- Replies: 1
- Views: 459
Chapter 2 Question 43
I'm not sure how for part (e) in this problem the electron configuration for Tungsten (W) is 4f^14 5d^4 6s^2 if it only has 6 valence electrons where does the 4f^14 come from?
- Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:30 pm
- Forum: Electron Configurations for Multi-Electron Atoms
- Topic: Chapter 2 Question 29 [ENDORSED]
- Replies: 3
- Views: 782
Chapter 2 Question 29 [ENDORSED]
Hi everyone, There may be a simple explanation but I am confused on how the solutions manual gets the answers for how many electrons can have the following quantum numbers in an atom: For example: (a) n=2, l=1 there are six electrons (b) n=4, l=2, m=-2 there are two electrons (c) n=2 there are eight...
- Fri Oct 07, 2016 12:32 pm
- Forum: Properties of Electrons
- Topic: Chapter 1 HW Question 15 [ENDORSED]
- Replies: 1
- Views: 565
Chapter 1 HW Question 15 [ENDORSED]
For number 15 in Chapter 1 (atoms: the quantum world) of the Chemistry Textbook, I understand why n=1 (because it is the Lyman series), and I get the numbers they plugged in the Rydberg equation to find n=2, but I'm not sure how the solutions guide concludes that n2=3. Can anyone clarify this? Thank...
- Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:55 pm
- Forum: Student Social/Study Group
- Topic: Chemistry Jokes
- Replies: 31
- Views: 9025
Re: Chemistry Jokes
1. Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
2. The name's bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.
3. Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar
4.What do you do with dead chemists? Barium
5.What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron? A KNiFe
2. The name's bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.
3. Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar
4.What do you do with dead chemists? Barium
5.What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron? A KNiFe