Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

That’ll be $5 for the electrons, but the neutrons are free of charge.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

You can take all your bad chemistry puns and barium.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

That was sodium funny I slapped my neon.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

I Sulfur when you Argon.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Jokes about Heavy elements? All I could think of was U

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind around here.” Argon doesn’t react.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

May the [mass times acceleration] be with you.

[Rishab_Haldar_3B]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

[Ameerah Hameed 3B]

Q: "What did the reactant say to its partner when their bond was broken?"
A: "Weeeee are never ever everrr getting back togetherrr" (*In Taylor Swift's voice*)

[Sam Forster 2J]

What's Michael Jackson's favorite combination of Elements?
He, He, He

[205678283]

what is HIJKLMNOP?

H2O

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

What is Michael Jackson's favorite molecule?

HeHe

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o-acid

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

How do you insult someone who’s good looking?

You are so basic that you are a 10 on the pH scale.

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

What did one charged atom say to the other?

I got my ion you.

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because [censored] you're CuTe.

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.

[Caitlyn Lo 2F]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

[Caroline 2A]

The name is bond, Pi Bond.

Agent σ σ 7.

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

What was avogadros favorite number?
Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Carbon and Hydrogen went on a date the other day... I heard they really BONDED :)

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Im out of chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one

[Calvin Su 1B]

Have you heard the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was pretty corny apparently.

[Myra Goraya Dis 2E]

Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

[Tony Chen 1F]

The name's Bond... Sigma bond

[RJ Mathews 1K]

I want to make an original joke in this thread, but all the good ones Argon

[RJ Mathews 1K]

What is the chemical formula for a Banana?

[dahlia Faruque]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

[maliamichelsen_3a]

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
2Na!

[maliamichelsen_3a]

You're a 10? Maybe on the pH scale because you're basic!

[Rishab_Haldar_3B]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Michelle Gong]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[Michelle Gong]

https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments ... joke_haha/

^ image!

[Michelle Gong]

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

[Michelle Gong]

All the good chemistry jokes are argon by now....

[Anisa Subbiah 14B 1L]

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium.
Me: 0mg

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Lose an electron?
Gotta keep an ion it hahahah

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Keep your ion the prize!

[Carla Bruebach 1C]

AU, want some gold??

hahahahahah

[Carla Bruebach 1C]

AU, want some gold??

hahahahahah

[605733348]

This post is really my source of happiness.

[505771920]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

[505771920]

https://i.pinimg.com/550x/36/3d/50/363d502c732e687a8089f2a230e16caa.jpg

[Caitlyn Lo 2F]

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything.

[Emma Goellner 2I]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia so much?

Because it's pretty basic stuff

;)

[Anna Hilger 3H]

I laughed way to hard at this.

[Emma Goellner 2I]

I had to make a bad chemistry joke here because all of the good ones Argon :(

[Emma Goellner 2I]

:)

[505771920]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Anyone heard any good jokes about sodium . . .
Na

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

What do you say when you run out of chemistry jokes . . .
I should zinc of a new one.

[Morgan Micallef 1A]

what is the second-best public university's favorite element?
Berkelium

[Morgan Micallef 1A]

Anyone heard any good jokes about sodium . . .
Na

This actually made me laugh

[Esther Kim]

I tried to make a clever chemistry joke but all the good ones...
ARGON

[Esther Kim]

I laughed way to hard at this.

LMAO iconic

[Jessica Ghiuzelian 1H]

Cation
Cat-i-on
Pronunciation: [kat-ahy-uhn, -on]
-noun, Chemistry
1. An ion with paws-itive charge
2. The cutest ion ever

[Esther Kim]

"Sodium, Bromide, Oxygen"
"Na BrO"

[Esther Kim]

Friend: "Johnny, why have you been so upset and frustrated lately?"

Johnny: "Well, I have taken two years and a quarter of chemistry, and I have yet to get this girl's significant digits."

good one

[Esther Kim]

Hey guys remember: don't trust atoms, they make everything up!

good one

[Giselle Simmons 2D]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

[Benicio Rivera 1F]

Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

[jennaj3k]

Q. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

A. Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

I heard this joke in my chem class in high school, and it always stuck with me, haha! Hope it hasn't already been posted here :)

[LillianHarvey2C]

Lol, these jokes actually gave me a smile I needed:)

[LillianHarvey2C]

I tried to make a clever chemistry joke but all the good ones...
ARGON

Haha it's the pause of suspension that actually makes it funny lol

[LillianHarvey2C]

:)

Loool this was actually both cute and funny:)

[LillianHarvey2C]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

Hahahaha, morbid but still really funny.
Also sidenote, but why would the bartender actually still give him the chemical to drink? That's the real question lol

[Calvin Su 1B]

feelin kinda neutral about this one

[Zara Okeiyi 3C]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar!

[Calvin Su 1B]

good ol' reliable

[Zara Okeiyi 3C]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded AHA

[Calvin Su 1B]

for my LoL players out there...
(last acid/base joke I promise)

[Calvin Su 1B]

What's Michael Jackson's favorite element?

Helium (x2)

[Calvin Su 1B]

dam so true

[Hana Aflatooni]

I use chemistry puns, but only periodically.

[Emaad Sohail 3F]

They always ask, why did the chicken cross the road?

However, we are not given its velocity, nor its position- we cannot determine an uncertainty from this question, raising the question of whether the chicken actually crossed the road in the first place.

[605823283]

Did you lose an electron?
You have to keep an ion it

[605823283]

What do you call an acid with attitude?
A-mean-o acid

[Sally_Luo_3F]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

[Riya 14B-2]

NAURRRRRR
this is not what I meant...

[azurexrose]

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

What is Santa's favorite molecule?

Ho + Ho + Ho!!!!

[gwenkelley3L]

What do you call a clown in jail?

A silicon!

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Which Marvel character would be the best chemist?

Thanos, because he believes that "all things must be balanced".

[Sohan Talluri 1L]

"Billy was a chemist
But Billy is no more
Cause what he thought was H₂O
Was H₂SO₄."

Moral of the story: don't pipette by mouth.

[Riya 14B-2]

I showed my roommate this outfit. Wasn't the *reaction* I was expecting.


Have a great winter break everyone :)

[Kayla Ziebell 1H]

Anyone know any jokes about salt? Na.

[dahlia Faruque]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-o Acid

[Ashley Fakolujo 3H]

I heard Potassium and Oxygen went on a date....It went OK

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

This one made me giggle really loud haha

[Rishab_Haldar_3B]

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything!

[Adrian]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[Adrian]

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Adrian]

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

[Adrian]

for my LoL players out there...
(last acid/base joke I promise)

You really had to do them like that LOL

[Adrian]

Awww, this was too cute to pass up.

I know this is from 2016 but this is a great one.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

NAURRRRRR
this is not what I meant...

LOL NOT THE SHOW BYE.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What did the other other elements say to Hydrogen?
"What a loner."

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-Mean-Oh Acid