Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How are oxidation-reduction reactions different than a clothing store?...
At the clothing store, when the price is reduced, it doesn't gain anything.
At the clothing store, when the price is reduced, it doesn't gain anything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Photonic Joke
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.....
He replies "No I'm traveling light"
He replies "No I'm traveling light"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
q: why did the bear dissolve in water?
a: because it was a polar bear!
a: because it was a polar bear!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Jokes..jokes everywhere
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.
A: He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be alloys.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have a lower energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the electrode go to jail?
He was charged with a salt and battery.
He was charged with a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you make a 24 molar solution? Put your artificial teeth in water.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry pick-up lines:
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.
Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge
Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why can't you trust an enthalpy pirate?
A: Because he'll steal all your joules matey
A: Because he'll steal all your joules matey
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q:Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?
A:Because Polar compounds dissolved in water.
A:Because Polar compounds dissolved in water.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It’s in the ground state
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
cation
cat-i-on
pronunciation: kat-ahy-uh n
noun
1. an ion with a paws-itive charge
cat-i-on
pronunciation: kat-ahy-uh n
noun
1. an ion with a paws-itive charge
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have a lower energy state than a steak?
It is in the ground state.
It is in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are bad at telling jokes...
They lack the element of surprise.
They lack the element of surprise.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
spreading some positivity
Last edited by em_farag on Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Let's get married and live a life like monosaccharides... sweet and simple:)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates!
They're cheaper than day rates!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do Potassium and rate constant make such a relaxed couple?
They're both K with everything.
They're both K with everything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
~What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
~OH SNaP!
~OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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