Chemistry Jokes

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Alexma 3A
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Chemistry Jokes

Postby Alexma 3A » Sun Sep 25, 2016 3:21 pm

1) Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
2) Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
3) A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
4) What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Deen Tar
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Deen Tar » Sun Sep 25, 2016 5:36 pm

1. Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

2. Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

3. Question- What did one ion say to the other?
Answer- I've got my ion you.

4. Question- Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
Answer- It went OK.

5. I would like to apologize for not adding more jokes but I only updated them... periodically!

Kaitlin_Ryan_ 3K
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Kaitlin_Ryan_ 3K » Sun Sep 25, 2016 6:00 pm

Found a couple good jokes on Google:

1) Chemistry jokes are Sodium funny I slapped my Neon that one.

2) Do you have 11 protons because your Sodium fine.

3) I think I've lost an electron, in fact I'm positive.

4) Know any good jokes about sodium hyporbromite? NaBrO

5) Chemistry is just physics. It's the part of physics that's too hard for the physicists.

Omer Lavian 2K
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Omer Lavian 2K » Sun Sep 25, 2016 8:02 pm

You've never heard of sodium hydroxide? It's so basic!

Janet Pham 1B
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Janet Pham 1B » Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:14 pm

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Aneri Suthar
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Aneri Suthar » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:05 am

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Ricardo Munoz 3K
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Ricardo Munoz 3K » Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:47 pm

-You guys should be careful with how much Queen you listen to. Too much of their songs can cause cancer due to the Mercury poisoning.
-What did the graduated cylinder tell the beaker while they were playing tag? "Tag, buret!"
-What do you call a salty fish? A 2 Na fish.
-Two elements- Chlorine and Fluorine- were at a bar, talking to each other about their friends.
Cl:So Oxygen and Potassium went out on a date. It went OK.
F: What? I heard that Oxygen went out with Magnesium! OMg!
-How can i tell what elements are diatomic? Well, once you see NOF of them, you just figure it out on your own. It becomes Cl-ear to you, and you do not need to be Br-ight to see it too. However, all this is only true IF you pay attention to patterns in the periodic table.

Theresa_Trieu_2G
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Theresa_Trieu_2G » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:34 pm

1. Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution! 

2. Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium? 
A: CoRnY. 

3. An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

Jake_Benna_3J
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Jake_Benna_3J » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:44 pm

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Kevin Le 1L
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Kevin Le 1L » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:50 pm

Hey guys!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to its chemistry lecture!

ha ha ha hahaha ahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahaHAHAAHhahhah

Vivian Wang 3J
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Been upvoted: 1 time

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Vivian Wang 3J » Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:37 pm

Most people find chemistry jokes funny; I find them prephosphorous.

Isayan_Natalie_3L
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Isayan_Natalie_3L » Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:55 pm

Two puns for y'all!

Today we are covering CH2O, or as i like to call it: Seawater

Have you spoken to C6H6 lately? He hasn't benzene around here for ages.

Lexy Swenson 1F
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Lexy Swenson 1F » Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:55 pm

1. Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

2. The name's bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.

3. Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar

4.What do you do with dead chemists? Barium

5.What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron? A KNiFe

Cliff Danza 3F
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Been upvoted: 1 time

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Cliff Danza 3F » Mon Sep 26, 2016 4:35 pm

Is Silicon the same in Spanish?

Si

Nilla Sivakumar 2H
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Nilla Sivakumar 2H » Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:02 pm

What do you call 6.022*10^23 guacas?
A guacamole!
It's Avocado's Number!

Katelyn Li 2J
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Katelyn Li 2J » Mon Sep 26, 2016 6:38 pm

A photon walks into a hotel. The man at the front desk asks if he needs help with any luggage. The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Nimah_Rasheed_3I
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am

Chemistry Jokes

Postby Nimah_Rasheed_3I » Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:22 pm

I don't remember where I heard this but...

"Want to hear a joke about Nitric Oxide?"
"NO"

Flamingos 3L
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Flamingos 3L » Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:35 pm

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Ivanna_Tang_3B
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Ivanna_Tang_3B » Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:51 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

TramHo2G
Posts: 31
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby TramHo2G » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:38 pm

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions!

Marc Farah 3D
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Marc Farah 3D » Mon Sep 26, 2016 11:23 pm

1) A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

2) If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

3) If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Angela_Pu_3C
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Angela_Pu_3C » Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:11 am

Attachments
Chemjoke.png

Nadine_El Fawal_3M
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Nadine_El Fawal_3M » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:20 pm

Are you a carbon sample?
Because I want to date you.

JAC_2016
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby JAC_2016 » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:28 pm

chemistry joke atoms.jpg

Courtney_Koenig_3K
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Courtney_Koenig_3K » Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:42 pm

What is the chemical formula for coffee?
Co(Fe)2

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed

Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.

What happened to the man who was stopped for having NaCl and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.

Chem_Mod
Posts: 17949
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:53 pm
Has upvoted: 406 times

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Chem_Mod » Tue Sep 27, 2016 8:06 pm

Please post jokes here:
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4291

Thanks

rielapopp3O
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby rielapopp3O » Tue Sep 27, 2016 8:14 pm

A photon checks into a hotel. The concierge asks him if he needs help with his bags.

The photon says, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

edhuang
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby edhuang » Tue Sep 27, 2016 8:53 pm

Oxygen is recruiting elements to play tag.

He goes to Potassium and says, "Do you want to play?"

Potassium says, "K."

He then goes to Sodium and asks, "Do you want to play?"

Sodium goes, "Na."

Arkinrao3A
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Arkinrao3A » Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:18 pm

1. I would tell you a joke but all the good ones argon.
2. Why did the covalent bonds hate the ionic bonds?
Because they never share.

Jessica Huang 1M
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Jessica Huang 1M » Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:23 am

Image

Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Tyler_Vellozzi_3E » Wed Sep 28, 2016 12:37 am

NaCl/NaOH....The base is under a salt!

Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Cause you are CuTe!

Alexandria_Leaf_2F
Posts: 30
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Postby Alexandria_Leaf_2F » Wed Sep 28, 2016 8:23 am

What do Batman and sodium have in common?
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na

What did the Angry electron say when it was compelled?
Let me atom!

(Here's some chemistry pick up lines as well):

Are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you're CuTe!

You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

Girl you must be made of fluorine, Iodine, and Neon because you are FINe!


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