Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

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AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:29 pm

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:30 pm

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:33 pm

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:41 pm

Chemistry is really funny, there are even people who laugh at nitrogen(I) oxide.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:42 pm

H20 is water and H202 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H204?

Drinking

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:42 pm

How many atoms in a guacamole?

Avocado's number

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:44 pm

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:44 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:45 pm

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:46 pm

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:47 pm

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:47 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:48 pm

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?

A KNiFe

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:48 pm

Why are chemists great for solving problems?

They have all the solutions

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:49 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:50 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:50 pm

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

Bryant Vong 2G
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 11:05 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Bryant Vong 2G » Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:51 pm

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

Methylated Spirits

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:00 pm

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:01 pm

Two atoms are walking down the street…
One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:03 pm

What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

Giselle1B
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Giselle1B » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:06 pm

"What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?"
-"Keep telling them until you get a reaction."

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:08 pm

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:10 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:11 pm

Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.

Giselle1B
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Giselle1B » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:28 pm

I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.

Giselle1B
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Giselle1B » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:31 pm

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Giselle1B
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Giselle1B » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:45 pm

"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'

Giselle1B
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:19 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Giselle1B » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:51 pm

"I initially decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element."

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:27 pm

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:28 pm

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:34 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult.

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:36 pm

If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:36 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:37 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

Because they're cheaper than day rates.

AngelaZ 1J
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby AngelaZ 1J » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:37 pm

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0K.

Chem_Mod
Posts: 17238
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:53 pm
Has upvoted: 367 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Chem_Mod » Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:38 am

AngelaZ 1J wrote:What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"


:-)

Chem_Mod
Posts: 17238
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:53 pm
Has upvoted: 367 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Chem_Mod » Mon Mar 18, 2019 12:38 am

Giselle1B wrote:"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'


Good one!

Yilun Ding
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Yilun Ding » Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:46 pm

When a chemist dies, they barium.

Yilun Ding
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Yilun Ding » Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:47 pm

never trust atoms, they make up everything.

Yilun Ding
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Yilun Ding » Tue Jul 23, 2019 2:53 pm

Heisenberg was caught speeding. The cops pulled him over and asked "do you know how fast you were going? " Heisenberg says "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was!" The cops were like " you were going 120 mph in 80 mph zone!" Heisenberg says " Great! Now I am lost."

Jennifer Zhou 1A
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jennifer Zhou 1A » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:05 pm

This is really cute!! (More of a biology joke though
Attachments
IMG_1800.JPG

Jennifer Zhou 1A
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jennifer Zhou 1A » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:26 pm

isomers
Attachments
gg39rwpq2a331.jpg

Jennifer Zhou 1A
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jennifer Zhou 1A » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:27 pm

What can you make when you have 6.022x10^23 avocados?

Guacamole, because you gotta follow Avocado’s Law.

Jennifer Zhou 1A
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jennifer Zhou 1A » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:45 pm

Two chemists walk into a bar
The first chemist says I'll have some H2O. The second says I'll have some H2O too. The second one dies shortly after.

Jeril Joseph 1B
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am
Been upvoted: 1 time

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jeril Joseph 1B » Tue Jul 23, 2019 4:30 pm

A gold atom went to a bar, and the bartender said, "Au, get out of here."

Jennifer Zhou 1A
Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:23 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Jennifer Zhou 1A » Wed Jul 24, 2019 10:42 pm

Even FaceApp can't make this plastic bottle age well. Only recycling can do that.
Attachments
3if0oqgjh7c31.jpg

Yilun Ding
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Yilun Ding » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:47 pm

A joke about photon.
Attachments
Screenshot_20190726_152457.jpg

Yilun Ding
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Postby Yilun Ding » Fri Jul 26, 2019 3:48 pm

A joke about Helium.
Attachments
Screenshot_20190726_152122.jpg


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