Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down!
He just couldn't put it down!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What do you do with the sick chemist?
If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium!
If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium!
Re: Chemistry Jokes
Two atoms are in a bar.
One says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
To which the other replies, "I'm positive."
One says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
To which the other replies, "I'm positive."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Daniela Contreras 3E wrote:What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2
Ha ha ha ha ha good one.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Copper and Gold are at a party. Copper sees Gold and says, "Au, you weren't invited, get out!" Gold replies, "Alright fine, Cu later."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
"Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book on Helium?"
-"He couldn't put it down!"
-"He couldn't put it down!"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Thermodynamic pickline:
You must have a low heat capacity, because it doesn't take much joules (jewels) to make you hot!!
You must have a low heat capacity, because it doesn't take much joules (jewels) to make you hot!!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
How much free energy does the average phone have when its battery is full?
None! Electricity doesn't pay for itself!
None! Electricity doesn't pay for itself!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Bryce Bentley 1l wrote:I hope the electrochemistry portion of the midterm won't Reduce my mood!
:-) I'll try to avoid that!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
WoW. So many good jokes. I sat down to do some work and I've had 15 mins of laughs!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Although this one did get a reaction...
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A man accidentally dropped his tooth in a solution of HCl. The man was so shocked that it dissolved so quickly that he just had to find the Molar concentration!!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
GrantSugimura_1B wrote:I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
As long as the reaction is spontaneous you are good! No energy will be needed to make people laugh!
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Are you made from iodine and uranium?
All I can see is U and I.
All I can see is U and I.
Last edited by WeiyangXiong1B on Mon Feb 01, 2016 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/videos/1208151935872482/
An interesting video about how elements react with each other
An interesting video about how elements react with each other
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Q:Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
A: NO..
These jokes are sodium funny.
A: NO..
These jokes are sodium funny.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Definite reference to the upcoming midterm
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Who doesn't love a good chem pun? Apparently a lot of people.
I mean, I am always trying to cell a good electrochem joke, and it is SHOCKING that some people do not appreciate the joke. They reVOLT against electrochemistry puns, and because of that they burn that SALT BRIDGE with me.
I mean, I am always trying to cell a good electrochem joke, and it is SHOCKING that some people do not appreciate the joke. They reVOLT against electrochemistry puns, and because of that they burn that SALT BRIDGE with me.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What did one titration say to the other?
-Lets meet at the half point!
(Not original content)
-Lets meet at the half point!
(Not original content)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A bunch of atoms were protesting. A guy walks up and asks them "Are you guys unionized?"
What is avocado's number?
The amount of particles in one guacamole.
What is avocado's number?
The amount of particles in one guacamole.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says, "for you, no charge".
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Karina Keus 3L wrote:I'd post a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!
Nah, I got one. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't react.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Parents ask me why I don't clean my room.
I tell them "In an isolated system, entropy can only increase."
I tell them "In an isolated system, entropy can only increase."
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
What did the chemistry student say when they asked her why she was crying?
"just too much pressure atm"
"just too much pressure atm"
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Since Valentine's day is coming up, this would be appropriate to ask someone you have been wanting to talk to! Good luck~
Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to date you.
Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to date you.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
In honor of Valentine's day coming up....
Here are some chemistry pick up lines!
http://chemistry.about.com/od/valentinesdaychemistry/a/Chemistry-Pick-Up-Lines.htm
Here are some chemistry pick up lines!
http://chemistry.about.com/od/valentinesdaychemistry/a/Chemistry-Pick-Up-Lines.htm
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. Another man says "I'll have H2O ,too." The second man dies.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
In honor of Valentines Day:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You melt my heart
like Ba(OH)2
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You melt my heart
like Ba(OH)2
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
No one has posted on this feed in a while because all the good Chem jokes Argon ;)
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Once I told a chemistry joke... there was no reaction
boy I really slapped my Neon that one!
boy I really slapped my Neon that one!
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