Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My friend who attends Santa Clara Univerity sent me this photo from her chemistry lecture the other day, enjoy.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what's the chemical formula for a banana?
Barium bonded to 2 sodiums
Barium bonded to 2 sodiums
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens to electrons when they lose their energy?
They get Bohr'd
They get Bohr'd
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did atom A say to the atom B who was telling this joke?
You're such a Boron
You're such a Boron
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite...
He said Na BrO
He said Na BrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state!
Because it's in the ground state!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry??...more like cheMYSTERY because I don't know what's going on.
(JK... maybe)
(JK... maybe)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
here's a joke: I NEED CHEM NOTES for days i missed due to doctors appointments, but no STEM majors want to give them to me because its such a competitive field...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do when you find a questionable amount of sulfur, tungsten, and silver in your backpack?
Keep calm and SWAg on!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!!!
-- Andrew Nguyen
Keep calm and SWAg on!!!!!!!11!!!11!!!!!
-- Andrew Nguyen
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I've seen the precipitate and solution one like 20 times on facebook - it's not even funny anymore
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff
Because it's pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you say to a periodic table that is missing gold?
Au revoir
Au revoir
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar, First says "hello, I'll have H2O" Second says "I'll also have some water, and stop ordering like that, you sound like an idiot"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
It's CoRnY
It's CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If a chemist is sick, and you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is driving when he gets pulled over. When the police officer asks how fast he was driving, Heisenberg replies "No, but I know exactly where I am!".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Because y'all are BeAuTi-ful.
Because y'all are BeAuTi-ful.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens to Nitrogen when the Sun comes up?
It becomes Daytrogen.
(you're welcome)
It becomes Daytrogen.
(you're welcome)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small furry animal walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is 6.02 x 10^23. We can't a serve a mole."
The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is 6.02 x 10^23. We can't a serve a mole."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint
He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Someone told me I have chemistry with a cute girl
But I don't take chemistry until next quarter
But I don't take chemistry until next quarter
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried to come up with another corny chemistry joke, but all of the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Ar : Don't tell a joke to a noble gas because you'll get no reaction.
Na : Haha, That was sodium funny.
Ne : I slapped my neon that one!
Na : Haha, That was sodium funny.
Ne : I slapped my neon that one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"OMG! I think I lost one of my neutrons"
"It'll be fine, you can get a new one free of charge!"
"It'll be fine, you can get a new one free of charge!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.
The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Because it's basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Physical chemistry: the pitiful attempt to apply y=mx+b to everything in the universe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I found the worst Chemistry joke of all time from Dr. Rachuru Sanjeev, Department of Chemistry, Mizan-Tepi University, Tepi Campus, Tepi, Ethiopia:
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.”
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Erwin Schrodinger brings his sick cat to the doctor. After waiting several hours in the waiting room, the doctor finally comes out. So Erwin says, "Well, doc?" And the doctor says, "I have good news and I have bad news."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a liter of water?
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A one molar solution
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A one molar solution
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
A: A 'gram' cracker.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you a nucleophile?
Because all you seem to do is bring negativity into my life.
Because all you seem to do is bring negativity into my life.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be the acid to my litmus paper because every time I meet you I turn bright red.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I initially wanted to write jokes about the periodic table but I never felt I was in my element.
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