Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q. Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A.It was a polar bear
lolol
A.It was a polar bear
lolol
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song?
Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why is it bad practice to solve equilibrium constants while distracted?
It requires concentration!
It requires concentration!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a favorite of both igloo interior designers and chemistry students?
ICE tables!
ICE tables!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do the other elements call group 18 "the knights of the periodic table"?
A: Because they are the noble gases.
i'm sorry everyone :(
A: Because they are the noble gases.
i'm sorry everyone :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My mom told me this one a while ago and glad I have the perfect place to share:
Did you lose an election?
Well you better keep an ion on it!
Did you lose an election?
Well you better keep an ion on it!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemist and her dog walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at the dog and says, "No pets allowed. You have to leave."
The chemist smiles and asks the bartender, "if I can prove that this is no typical dog, will you let us stay? By that, I mean that this dog can talk!"
The bartender smirks: "Sure, if you can do that I'll let you stay and give both of you a free beer. Let's see it."
The chemist turns to her dog. "Avogadro, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Avogadro responds, "Bark!"
The chemist asks, "What is the top of a house called?"
"Roof!"
The chemist turns to the bartender and says, "See! I told you my dog can talk."
The bartender rolls his eyes. "Nice joke, but you have to leave."
Dejectedly, the chemist leaves the bar, taking her dog with her. Sitting outside the bar on a bench, the dog looks at the chemist and asks, "What was his problem?"
I hope you all enjoyed my chemistry joke :)
The bartender looks at the dog and says, "No pets allowed. You have to leave."
The chemist smiles and asks the bartender, "if I can prove that this is no typical dog, will you let us stay? By that, I mean that this dog can talk!"
The bartender smirks: "Sure, if you can do that I'll let you stay and give both of you a free beer. Let's see it."
The chemist turns to her dog. "Avogadro, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Avogadro responds, "Bark!"
The chemist asks, "What is the top of a house called?"
"Roof!"
The chemist turns to the bartender and says, "See! I told you my dog can talk."
The bartender rolls his eyes. "Nice joke, but you have to leave."
Dejectedly, the chemist leaves the bar, taking her dog with her. Sitting outside the bar on a bench, the dog looks at the chemist and asks, "What was his problem?"
I hope you all enjoyed my chemistry joke :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why can you never trust an atom?
They make up literally everything.
They make up literally everything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Michael Jackson always keeps two helium atoms around him. I don't know why . . .
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!
To neutralize the enemy's base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you say when someone throws sodium chloride at you?
"that's a salt"
"that's a salt"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I’d tell you another chemistry joke.
Unfortunately, all the good ones argon!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness w me
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one charged atom say to the other? .........
I go my ion u :D!
I go my ion u :D!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemist and his friend get drinks.
The chemist says "I'll have H2O."
His friend thinks that's so cool, and says "I'll have H2O too!"
They drink their drinks, and the friend vomits profusely.
The chemist says "I'll have H2O."
His friend thinks that's so cool, and says "I'll have H2O too!"
They drink their drinks, and the friend vomits profusely.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does the wise man build his house upon sodium hydroxide?
It's a strong base!
It's a strong base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemistry student say when she finally understood acid equilibrium?
[A][H]/[HA]!
[A][H]/[HA]!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Shaun was a rambunctious student, always pranking his lab partner Sarah. His modus operandi always seemed to revolve around practical joke toys. Be it a hand buzzer while passing Sarah a beaker, a whoopie cushion on her seat, or a mousetrap in the lab drawers, Sarah could always count on Shaun bringing some useless distraction to lab.
Walking into the laboratory, Sarah was apathetically awaiting Shaun's prank for the day. The lab was a relatively simple one, only an introduction to titrations.
While the students were starting their titrations, their professor was walking up and down the lab benches, asking students about the lab procedures. As Sarah heard her professor ask, "What process are we doing by adding base to acid," she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over to see Shaun clutching his face with one hand, and with the other pointing to what seemed to be a glass eyeball sitting in their beaker of titrand.
Unamused, Sarah said, "New troll eyes, eh Shaun?"
The professor responded, "Correct".
-JH, 1/19/23
Walking into the laboratory, Sarah was apathetically awaiting Shaun's prank for the day. The lab was a relatively simple one, only an introduction to titrations.
While the students were starting their titrations, their professor was walking up and down the lab benches, asking students about the lab procedures. As Sarah heard her professor ask, "What process are we doing by adding base to acid," she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over to see Shaun clutching his face with one hand, and with the other pointing to what seemed to be a glass eyeball sitting in their beaker of titrand.
Unamused, Sarah said, "New troll eyes, eh Shaun?"
The professor responded, "Correct".
-JH, 1/19/23
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An atom walks into a bar and starts flirting with another atom. They were super compatible, but the atom left the bar feeling super bad about himself. Turns out he took some electrons with him!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would make a joke about week two's materials, but it would be too basic.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I think all of these jokes are too basic... Because I see no reaction!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If Dr. Lavelle decided to create a community for learning Spanish, he'd probably call it "Conjugate Base".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Man, my chemistry experiment exploded...
It's ok, oxidants happen :D
It's ok, oxidants happen :D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When it's cold outside, I've always found that marching in ranks with my friends and classmates up and down Bruinwalk seems to warm me up.
In chemistry it's known as the "heat of formation".
In chemistry it's known as the "heat of formation".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.
"For you, no charge."
"For you, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are always so happy in the lab because they're in their "element."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When explaining work functions, why is it important to project your voice?
Because volume is integral!
Because volume is integral!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Discussing their travel plans to the 2023 National Convention of Thermodynamics, one scientist asked his assistant, "Which airline are you flying with?"
The assistant replied, "Delta, U?"
The assistant replied, "Delta, U?"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd tell a joke about work but I don't know if it can go the distance...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the thermodynamics professor get cold feet at his wedding?
Because he was worried about a decrease in enthalpy!!!!
Because he was worried about a decrease in enthalpy!!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the work function go to therapy?
Because it was feeling electroNEGATIVE!!!
Because it was feeling electroNEGATIVE!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of weapon can you make out of Potassium, Nickel, and Iron?
A KNiFe.
A KNiFe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why can you never trust an atom?
They make up literally everything.
They make up literally everything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find it easy to work with ammonia? It’s pretty basic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is Lavelle's favorite thing to teach about?
Ammonia because it's pretty basic.
Ammonia because it's pretty basic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are so happy in the lab because they're in their element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the chemist not invited to the party?
Because no one loved him
Because no one loved him
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid ?
To neutralize the enemy's base !
To neutralize the enemy's base !
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed !
H20 cubed !
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you a derived form of calculating change in entropy?
Because you are a q/T.
Because you are a q/T.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would love to see Dr. Lavelle wear a suit and tie and talk with an English accent while teaching forms of calculating change in enthalpy.
You could say he'd give off "Bond Energy".
You could say he'd give off "Bond Energy".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I've been developing a new restaurant idea of combining Mexican-Japanese cuisine with an emphasis on seasonings and spices.
I'll probably call it "Heat of Fusion".
I'll probably call it "Heat of Fusion".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chem_Mod wrote:We had a fun review session on Friday November 7 and I encourage all students to view it as there were many excellent Q&A.
I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:
Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!
Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.
I had a good laugh at this one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you gave Dr. Lavelle an eye patch and parrot, he'd definitely make a good pirate captain.
He's experienced in helm-holds! (Helmholtz)
He's experienced in helm-holds! (Helmholtz)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do organic chemists and introverts have in common?
They both try to avoid work functions!
They both try to avoid work functions!
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