Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
-HeHe

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[JasmineCap1A]

Do you have 11 protons? You are sodium cute ;)

[JasmineCap1A]

Did you lose an electron? Better keep an ion it

[jasonfarrales3D]

Why was there an explosion in the chemistry lab?
Because oxidants happen!!

[805377003]

Lose an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

[805377003]

I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.

[805377003]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded

[Mari Williams 1K]

What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C? Nothing, you're perfectly 0K!

[ShinwooKim_3E]

I only tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[305405193]

I make bad Chemistry jokes because all of the good ones ARGON (Ar)

[Quinton Sprague 1A]

[Hannah_Kim_1I]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What did Sodium and Neon say when someone told a joke?
That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Element 1: Oh no! I lost my electron.
Element 2: Oh no! Are you positive?

[Shivani Kapur 2J]

I would but all the good ones Argon.

[Elena Chen 2E]

Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?


Because he was convicted of battery.

[Kathrine_Samia_1A]

We had a fun review session on Friday November 7 and I encourage all students to view it as there were many excellent Q&A.

I started my review session by reading out the following chemistry joke given to me by a student:

Q. Why should you never trust atoms?
A. Because they make up everything!

Anyone wanting to post chemistry jokes can post under this topic.

LMAO THIS MADE MY NIGHT!

[Kathrine_Samia_1A]

Element 1: Oh no! I lost my electron.
Element 2: Oh no! Are you positive?

simple yet creative HAHA

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

[Shana Patel 1C]

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine!!

[Joanna Huang]

The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts. XD

[Gabe_Ek 1G]

I was thinking to tell a Sodium and Hydrogen pun, but NaH.

[JasmineCap1A]

You are the acid to my litmus paper- you turn me bright red

[Anusha Chaudhary 1J]

Here's a little electrochemistry joke to match our unit

I started working in an electrochemistry lab today, and the PI said that I have great potential.

[isha dis3d]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[AHUNT_1A]

I like to hear chemistry puns.....

periodically.

[vbarian27]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.

[vbarian27]

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything!

[vbarian27]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[vbarian27]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

[vbarian27]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[vbarian27]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

[vbarian27]

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.

[vbarian27]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.

[vbarian27]

are you hydrogen? Why? Because I can't live without you.

[vbarian27]

A wrestler holding down an opponent may have a NEON him.

[vbarian27]

What happened to the chemist in the cave - Berkelium (bear kill him)

[vbarian27]

You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix.

[vbarian27]

Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi ( beauty)

[vbarian27]

Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass? Only the Catholic ones!

[vbarian27]

Sooo I was gonna tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen......but NaH.

[vbarian27]

What do you do to dead elements? You barium.

[vbarian27]

I was looking for sodium on the periodic table, but then it told me it was not available! (Na)

[vbarian27]

Knock Knock, Who's There? Beryl. Beryl who? Beryl and Lium

[vbarian27]

I am a female, Fe = Iron and Male = man Therefore, I am Iron Man.

[vbarian27]

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night? OMg

[vbarian27]

Are you a mixture of Fluoride, Iodine, and Nitrogen cause you are fine.

[vbarian27]

Teacher: Do you know your elements? Student: yeah, maybe... Teacher: isotope so.

[JakeSaum_1A]

What did one charged atom say to the other?

I've got my ion you

[JakeSaum_1A]

What is Cesium and Iodine's favorite show?
CsI

[JakeSaum_1A]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says

"Au! Get out of here!"

[NayeliPlayas_1L]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

[Jaden Ward 3J]

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Are you 11 protons?
'Cause you are sodium fine.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold"

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What do you do with a dead scientist? You barium. That's if you can't helium or curium.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Hey want to hear a joke about potassium?... K

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

I try to tell chemistry jokes but there is no reaction.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

I like chemistry jokes periodically.

[Jonathan3B]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

Another chemical symbol-based chemistry joke: cobalt (Co), radon (Rn), and yttrium (Y—yes, it’s a real element).

[JasmineCap1A]

You can never trust atoms- they make up everything!

[Michelle Nguyen 3F]

Now we’re making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Ismar Zamora]

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

[805377003]

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

[805377003]

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

[805377003]

What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

Hey guys. Check this one out.

[Anusha Chaudhary 1J]

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=htt ... AdAAAAABAV

The real answer to the question "Is the glass half empty or half full."

[705512695]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Get it?! Like a chemical reaction. Chemistry jokes are funny.

[Emily_Stenzler_2H]

These jokes are so good, I'm diene of laughter

[AJForte-2C]

Q: Why does Santa's house dissolve in water?

A: because it's polar

[jasonfarrales3D]

[Shana Patel 1C]

What do you do when a chemist dies?
You Barium.

[Devan Nathu - 2H]

What is "HIJKLMNO"?
- H2O.

This one lowkey gets me all the time.

[Gabe_Ek 1G]

What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?
CoFe2

[Juliana Rosales 1H]

The real joke is me being in this chemistry class right now

[Massimo_Capozza_1G]

What's the dullest element? Bohrium!

[IanWheeler3F]

An appropriate meme for the kinetics unit

[isha dis3d]

What is the chemical formula for "banana"? BaNa2

[isha dis3d]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[AJForte-2C]

today in lecture we learned about how first order reaction rates have the formula ln[A]= -Kt + ln[A(0)] and are similar to y=mx+b. The jokes about it are funny, but we gotta draw the line somewhere.

[almost_ethan]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[almost_ethan]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[almost_ethan]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[almost_ethan]

Okay, LMAO--last one.

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[IanWheeler3F]

I know i'm late w the redox meme but i hope you enjoy

[JakeSaum_1A]

What did the scientist say when he found two Helium isotopes

HeHe

[JakeSaum_1A]

What's the sign of a bad chem joke?

No reaction

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything