Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Joshua Wiedner]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down!

[Tasnim Sazzad 4B]

What do you do with the sick chemist?

If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium!

[Henry2E]

Two atoms are in a bar.
One says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
To which the other replies, "I'm positive."

[JasmineChavez 1E]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

Ha ha ha ha ha good one.

[GrantSugimura_1B]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[katielee1K]

I have many chemistry jokes....I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction!

[Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A]

I had to post this (*_*) haha

[Madison Holland 1D]

chemistry is funny

[Alexander Vong 3I]

Learning about equilibrium is easy...

...because nothing changes

[CenCen]

here's another for you all. :)

[Kelly Sun 3E]

[Johnchou1A]

What is the charge of cations?

pawsitive

[JasmineChavez 1E]

I am A female
Fe= Iron
Male=Man

therefore... I am Iron Man

[Cecilia Tsai 3C]

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Cole Malkoff 3E]

What was the Titanic's hull made of?

Zinc.

Zinc about it.

[Lisa Lim 3G]

A: "I blew up my chemistry experiment."
B: "That's ok, oxidants happen."

[BeejenPatel_1B]

Copper and Gold are at a party. Copper sees Gold and says, "Au, you weren't invited, get out!" Gold replies, "Alright fine, Cu later."

[Brooke VanSickle 1J]

What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?


He was booked for a salt and battery.

[904418641]

I told a chemistry joke once...there was no reaction.

[Mahir Pepic 3F]

"Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book on Helium?"

-"He couldn't put it down!"

[Bryce Bentley 1l]

Thermodynamic pickline:
You must have a low heat capacity, because it doesn't take much joules (jewels) to make you hot!!

[Bryce Bentley 1l]

How much free energy does the average phone have when its battery is full?

None! Electricity doesn't pay for itself!

[Bryce Bentley 1l]

I hope the electrochemistry portion of the midterm won't Reduce my mood!

[Chem_Mod]

I hope the electrochemistry portion of the midterm won't Reduce my mood!

:-) I'll try to avoid that!

[Chem_Mod]

WoW. So many good jokes. I sat down to do some work and I've had 15 mins of laughs!

[GiselleMartinez_1B]

Although this one did get a reaction...

[904638389]

Sodium sodium sodium sodium
sodium sodium sodium sodium
BATMAN!

[Roberto Vasquez 2C]

Red-Ox

[ssendhil]

People asked me if I rushed this quarter but the only thing I rushed was that last quiz.

[Bryce Bentley 1l]

A man accidentally dropped his tooth in a solution of HCl. The man was so shocked that it dissolved so quickly that he just had to find the Molar concentration!!

[GrantSugimura_1B]

I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Bryce Bentley 1l]

I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

As long as the reaction is spontaneous you are good! No energy will be needed to make people laugh!

[Chi-Yun 1B]

I told a joke about noble gases.
There was no reaction!

[aristotelis1H]

I thought this was a cute image :)

[WeiyangXiong1B]

Are you made from iodine and uranium?
All I can see is U and I.

[WeiyangXiong1B]

What is iron's favorite ride at the amusement park?
Ferrous wheel

[Wendy_Xie]

https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/videos/1208151935872482/
An interesting video about how elements react with each other

[kaushikdr]

What do you call it when a king farts?

A noble gas

[CalebLew1C]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Jade Nguyen 1E]

Neutrons want to pay tab, bartender says "for you, no charge"

[Jade Nguyen 1E]

Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A]

Hehe

[Rachel Tat 3E]

[haleyf 2I]

[Kyilah Terry]

Q:Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
A: NO..

These jokes are sodium funny.

[cgrabar_2D]

Definite reference to the upcoming midterm

[Heerali Patel 3A]

[004569922]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

[Miah Khan 3L]

Who doesn't love a good chem pun? Apparently a lot of people.

I mean, I am always trying to cell a good electrochem joke, and it is SHOCKING that some people do not appreciate the joke. They reVOLT against electrochemistry puns, and because of that they burn that SALT BRIDGE with me.

[Miah Khan 3L]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Rachel Colbath 2G]

The name's Bond
... Ionic Bond

"taken, not shared"

[Kayla T 1J]

What is Kylo Ren's favorite type of reaction?

A First Order reaction.

[Rachel Hunsucker 3L]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?



A: Barium

[Vishal Dobaria 4G]

What did the angry electron say when it was repelled?

Let me atom!!

[Susanna]

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

SWAG.

[Kyilah Terry]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[adrianm]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

[Rodrigo Aranda]

What did one titration say to the other?

-Lets meet at the half point!

(Not original content)

[Cesar Martinez 2A]

A bunch of atoms were protesting. A guy walks up and asks them "Are you guys unionized?"

What is avocado's number?
The amount of particles in one guacamole.

[Karina Keus 3L]

I'd post a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

[Noah Lopez 2L]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says, "for you, no charge".

[Daniela Contreras 3E]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[Daniela Contreras 3E]

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

[Daniela Contreras 3E]

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

[Nataliya Karashchuk]

If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

[Brock Burnett 3H]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

[Brock Burnett 3H]

What is the first rule of thermodynamics? You don't talk about thermodynamics.

[Cole Malkoff 3E]

OMg! Did you hear that about Oxygen and Magnesium's relationship?

[CalebLew1C]

Valentine's Day is right around the corner...

[Joanne Reyes 1L]

I'd post a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

Nah, I got one. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't react.

[GrantSugimura_1B]

The names Bond....Ionic Bond
Taken, not shared.

[Chi-Yun 1B]

[Chi-Yun 1B]

[404483361]

Parents ask me why I don't clean my room.
I tell them "In an isolated system, entropy can only increase."

[Dahriel Aron 3A]

I hope everyone is feeling solid (with low entropy) for the midterm tomorrow!

[Mariah Tumbaga 1e]

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

[GrantSugimura_1B]

Joke: I'm ready for the midterm today.

[marinah]

What did the chemistry student say when they asked her why she was crying?

"just too much pressure atm"

[katielee1K]

what did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
.
.
.
HeHe

[Feng Ming Li 2K]

Since Valentine's day is coming up, this would be appropriate to ask someone you have been wanting to talk to! Good luck~

Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

[Christian Wooten 3A]

This one is a comic strip, so its long but its funny lol

[Michelle Dela Rosa 1D]

[Chem_Mod]

Coupling Constant.jpg (53.94 KiB) Viewed 140787 times

I meant to show these at the end of today’s class.

Happy Valentine!

DIENE Valentine.jpg (54.8 KiB) Viewed 140787 times

[Chi-Yun 1B]

[Vishal Dobaria 4G]

The last time I told a good chemistry joke, there was no reaction

[Cesar Martinez 2A]

How can photons be Catholic if they don't even have mass?

[Ilana Golub 1A]

In honor of Valentine's day coming up....
Here are some chemistry pick up lines!

http://chemistry.about.com/od/valentinesdaychemistry/a/Chemistry-Pick-Up-Lines.htm

[Karina Keus 3L]

[Amir Teixeira 1L]

Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. Another man says "I'll have H2O ,too." The second man dies.

[GiselleMartinez_1B]

You have got to love The Big Bang Theory !

[Jason Ching]

Enjoy!

[Jason Ching]

Appropriate for Valentine's Day.

Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine

[Brock Burnett 3H]

In honor of Valentines Day:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You melt my heart
like Ba(OH)2

[Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A]

Hmm

[Tal Boussi 2D]

write ok as 0K (0 kelvin), to show you are really chill!!!

[Mariah Tumbaga 1e]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[CenCen]

hehe...

[Rachel Risoleo 3G]

No one has posted on this feed in a while because all the good Chem jokes Argon ;)

[JasmineChavez 1E]

Once I told a chemistry joke... there was no reaction

boy I really slapped my Neon that one!

[GrantSugimura_1B]

Once I told a chemistry joke

There was no reaction