Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff
Because it's pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What type of tree did the scientist get for Christmas?
A chemisTREE
A chemisTREE
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A (fe)rrous wheel
A: A (fe)rrous wheel
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.
A: Avocado's number.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
There was a chemist reading a book about helium.
….He just couldn't put it down
….He just couldn't put it down
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A person asked a chemist "What's new?"
The chemist replied: "C over Lambda"
The chemist replied: "C over Lambda"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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- Joined: Fri Sep 28, 2018 12:17 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a beer?
The barman says "For you, no charge!"
The barman says "For you, no charge!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
A: H-two-O-CUBED
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is Garfield's favorite part of chemistry? Lanthanum-Sulfur-Silver-Sodium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
It was CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!
A: To become a buffer solution!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
A: A CaNiNe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the pregnant scientist say at the end of her electrolysis experiment?
A: "My water broke."
A: "My water broke."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why shouldn't you believe anything alcohol says?
A: 'Cause alkyl ha-lide
A: 'Cause alkyl ha-lide
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
After a whole day of getting to know each other, the cation finally finds the courage to ask the anion to swap numbers.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
HOH, HOH, HOH!
HOH, HOH, HOH!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When I learned how many electrons an oxygen atom needs to fill its first orbital, I was like :O
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?"
"Because it's some pretty basic stuff"
"Because it's some pretty basic stuff"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"you must be made of copper and tellurium! because you're so CuTe" ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Jackie Ngo 1C wrote:"you must be made of copper and tellurium! because you're so CuTe" ;)
im laughing ur jokes are so funny!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks “how much for a beer?” The bartender smiles and responds “ for you, no charge” :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They are cheaper than day rates.
A: They are cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How can you tell the chemist in the restroom?
A: He washes his hands BEFORE he goes.
A: He washes his hands BEFORE he goes.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro’s number!
A: He got Avogadro’s number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two scientists sit down at a restaurant
The first scientist: I'll have H2O
The second scientist: I'll have H20, also.
The second scientist’s arch nemesis disguised as a waiter: [under breath] so close....
The first scientist: I'll have H2O
The second scientist: I'll have H20, also.
The second scientist’s arch nemesis disguised as a waiter: [under breath] so close....
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried to write a joke about the periodic table... but I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Who wants to date, we already have good chemistry... maybe we can find a bond ;)
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