Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
gold walks into a bar. the bartender shouts "A U! Get out of here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I hope this hasn't been done already because I love this joke...
Q: What kind of dogs do scientists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers
Q: What kind of dogs do scientists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
It's pretty basic stuff
It's pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak
Because it's in its ground state
Because it's in its ground state
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don't think I'll be in my element.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
Because they always have a solution!
Because they always have a solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf!
He always got a mole-in-one!
He always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
.... CSI
.... CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.
“For you, no charge.”
“For you, no charge.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A sign outside the hotel reads: "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3- 's"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Just stole some hydrocarbons the other day, I certainly hope I hadn't benzene.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the difference between and optimist, a pessimist, and a chemist?
An optimist sees the glass half full, a pessimist sees the glass half empty, and the chemist sees the glass full with half liquid and half gas.
An optimist sees the glass half full, a pessimist sees the glass half empty, and the chemist sees the glass full with half liquid and half gas.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
Bartender gives a smile and says, "for you, no charge!"
Bartender gives a smile and says, "for you, no charge!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So engineering school is really hard...
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the other elements say to hydrogen??
Why are you such a loner.
That is me. I am hydrogen.
Why are you such a loner.
That is me. I am hydrogen.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear that oxygen and potassium went on a date?
Yeah it went OK!
Yeah it went OK!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemist like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than any day rates!
They're cheaper than any day rates!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the weak acid say to the strong acid??
you are overreacting!
you are overreacting!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”
The frog is thrilled! “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the fastest way to determine the inappropriate word of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.
A: Pull down its genes.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did Mr. Watt work in the jewelry store?
He could sort through one Jewel per second!
He could sort through one Jewel per second!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
He just couldn’t put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Famous last words from chemists:
"And now for the taste test..."
"And now let's shake it a bit..."
"Which glass was my mineral water?"
"And now for the taste test..."
"And now let's shake it a bit..."
"Which glass was my mineral water?"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why didn't the physics and biology teachers get along?
A: They had no chemistry.
A: They had no chemistry.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
all these jokes make me enjoy chemistry a little bit more every week. just wanted to say thank you to everyone
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why is the pH of Youtube so stable?
Because it constantly buffers.
Because it constantly buffers.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the differences between a chemistry joke and a physics joke?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What are the best elements to work with?
Bromine, Uranium, Indium, Sulfur
BrUInS!!!
Bromine, Uranium, Indium, Sulfur
BrUInS!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A little Valentine's Day joke to lighten the mood!
A Hug without U is just toxic, Hg.
A Hug without U is just toxic, Hg.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
2 men walk into a bar. The first man tells the bartender
"give me some H2O"
The bartender happily fills him up a glass of water. The second man feeling quite parched tells the bartender
"Give me some H2O too"
The bartender stares in shock but does so and when the second man drinks his drink he dies on the spot.
"give me some H2O"
The bartender happily fills him up a glass of water. The second man feeling quite parched tells the bartender
"Give me some H2O too"
The bartender stares in shock but does so and when the second man drinks his drink he dies on the spot.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there's no charge!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY
It was CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
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