Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[asfakhan_2H]

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

[asfakhan_2H]

What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

[Caitlyn Lo 2F]

What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

[Vance Liu]

Q: Why is gold the best element?
A: Because it's AU-some.

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What do you call 007 in the arctic? Polar Bond.

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

I asked the guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite. He said NaBrO

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

How often do I joke about chemistry?
Periodically

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

I was gonna post a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen but...NaH!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "AU! Get out of here!"

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why do you go to jail for throwing sodium chloride for somebody?
Because it's a salt.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Chemist: The glass is 50% H2O(l), 39%N(g), 10.5% O2(g), .44%Ar(g), and .06% CO2(g)

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

How does copper say goodbye?
CU later!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Person 1: I blew up my chemistry experiment!!
Person 2: Oxidants happen

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What is a chemist's favorite plant?
Stochiome-tree!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you get when you combine sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

If I don't have enough acid in my system, I can be pretty basic.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Every dipole has its moment.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Do you have 11 protons because you're sodium fine!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What is a CATion?
An ion with a paws-itive charge.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
WaterMOLEns

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What does an enthalpy pirate steal? Your Joules.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What did the element say to the police?
I CU copper

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Get yourself a friend who is down to hang out with positive entropy.

[Nayeli Valtierra 2F]

Why can you never trust an atom?

They make up literally everything.

[almaortega]

I'm feeling very -△G right now LOL

[almaortega]

I wanted to add a joke, but all the chemistry jokes Argon

LOL

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

I use chemistry puns, but only periodically

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

I think that angry flask overreacted

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

If H2O is water, what is H2O4? Drinking! (if you don't get it read H2O4 has H2O for)

[105532700]

These are so funny!!

[asfakhan_2H]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender

[asfakhan_2H]

tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[asfakhan_2H]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

[asfakhan_2H]

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

[asfakhan_2H]

Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.

[asfakhan_2H]

If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.

[Tania Peymany 1A]

I wanted to write a chemistry joke, but I realized I wasn't quite in my ELEMENT.

[asfakhan_2H]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[asfakhan_2H]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[asfakhan_2H]

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool

[asfakhan_2H]

What’s a chemist’s favorite type of dog?
A Laboratory retriever.

[Caitlyn Lo 2F]

I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero. I promise you'll be 0K

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

[asfakhan_2H]

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[asfakhan_2H]

Famous last words from chemists:
"And now for the taste test..."
"And now let's shake it a bit..."
"Which glass was my mineral water?"

[asfakhan_2H]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

[asfakhan_2H]

Why didn't the physics and biology teachers get along?
​They had no chemistry.

[asfakhan_2H]

What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[Minh Nguyen 3H]

I'm honestly feeling a little out of my element with chemistry.

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What do you do with dead chemists? Barium

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

What kind of weapon can you make out of Potassium, Nickel and Iron? A KNiFe

[Tania Peymany 1A]

Two men walked up to a bar and one says "I'll have some H2O." The other guy says "Ill have some water too." The first guy walks away, angry his assassination attempt did not work.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you get when 6.02x1023 mosquitoes bite you? Molearia.

[JennyZhu1K]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.

“For you, no charge.”

[505771920]

[505771920]

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

The ice came up to the water and said, "I was water before it was cool".

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

Chemists favor nitrates because they are way more affordable than the day rates.

[Connor_Olsen_2K]

I wonder when a King or Queen burps, do we call it a noble gas?

[Vance Liu]

Here's another one:

Contrary to what you might believe, lowering your body temperature to -273 degrees Celsius is not 0K

[505771920]

[Connor Davis 2K]

I have a good joke for you:
Achieve maintenance the night before final exams!
:') I hope you got a good laugh out of that one.

[Zara Okeiyi 3C]

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Anna Turk 1D]

cause chem is cool

[jackie-3L]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Rhea Thielbar 3A]

These are amazing I love it

[Belina Chong 2H]

“What do you do with a dead chemist?”

[Ba]

[Esther Kim]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

[Esther Kim]

These are so good! Keep em going

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

These are so good! Keep em going

I agree, they make me cackle!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you do with a sick chemist? Curium!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Do you have 11 protons? You are sodium cute!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there's no charge!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Water says to oil, wanna hang out! Oil says, he can't! Water then yells at oil, hydrophobe!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu Te

[Karen Harrison 1L]

Why can you never trust atoms?
...
Because they make up everything (*badum tis*).

[Samuel Mushinski 2G]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

[605823283]

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[605823283]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.