Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Close the window, you're letting the cold in"
"well... actually the second law of Thermodynamics states that heat goes out"
"well... actually the second law of Thermodynamics states that heat goes out"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel
A: A ferrous wheel
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
A: H-two-O-CUBED
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
A: HOH, HOH, HOH!
A: HOH, HOH, HOH!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY
A: CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
As my last post for chemistry community ever:
Never trust an atom...
I've heard they make up everything...
Never trust an atom...
I've heard they make up everything...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Man: I wish I was the Enzyme DNA Helicase.
Woman: Why?
Man: So I could unzip your genes.
Woman: Why?
Man: So I could unzip your genes.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens when oxygen atoms get haircuts?
They donate their lone hairs :)
They donate their lone hairs :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A few moles of lithium hexafluorophosphate were sentenced to five years in prison.
They were charged with a salt in battery. :)
They were charged with a salt in battery. :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have H2O."
The other says, "Ill have H2O too."
The second chemist died.
One says, "I'll have H2O."
The other says, "Ill have H2O too."
The second chemist died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard about that one chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down ;)
He just couldn't put it down ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two molecules are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q:What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q:What helped the weak acid molecules go on strike?
A: They unionized.
A: They unionized.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did fluorine, francium, chlorine, and cesium go to anger management class?
They had to work on being less reactive.
They had to work on being less reactive.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I really want to be able write good jokes about the periodic table but I don't think I'll be in my element. I would try to come up with other good chem jokes but i'm pretty sure all the good ones argon already.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Situation: Two chemists walk into Kemist Bar. They sit at the table and the bartender asks for their drinks. The first chemist asks for H2O, and the second chemist said "I'll have H2O, too!" The bartender came back with their drinks and the first chemist quenched thier thirst and went to the bathroom. When they came out, the chemist saw their partner dead on the table. What happened?
Answer: The bartender misinterpreted the second chemist's drink, thinking they said H2O2, which is Hydrogen Peroxide. The chemist drank it without looking, leading to their death. Sad stuff :(
Answer: The bartender misinterpreted the second chemist's drink, thinking they said H2O2, which is Hydrogen Peroxide. The chemist drank it without looking, leading to their death. Sad stuff :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hydrogen: Hey Helium, mind sharing an electron, for old times sake? Y'know, since sharing is caring?
Helium: um...... no.
Hydrogen: Well that's not very noble of you.
I'm sorry, that may have been a terrible jokes xD
Helium: um...... no.
Hydrogen: Well that's not very noble of you.
I'm sorry, that may have been a terrible jokes xD
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do if nobody laughs at your chemistry jokes?
You wait for them to have a reaction!
You wait for them to have a reaction!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?
Change your name to "et al".
Change your name to "et al".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number
He got Avogadro's number
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My high school chem teacher showed us this meme and this is genuinely still how I remember which ion is which.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
They're cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the attacking army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy's base!
A: To neutralize the enemy's base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use ACID weapons?
To neutralize the enemy BASE
To neutralize the enemy BASE
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd tell another chemistry joke but it looks like all the good ones ARGON
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
Golf... He always got a MOLE in one.
Golf... He always got a MOLE in one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Another joke!
Q: how do you treat a sick chemist!?
A: first you try helium, but if that doesn't work try curium, and if that doesn't work it looks like you gotta barium!
yay!
Q: how do you treat a sick chemist!?
A: first you try helium, but if that doesn't work try curium, and if that doesn't work it looks like you gotta barium!
yay!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what is batman's favorite element?
sodium! na na na na na na na na!
sodium! na na na na na na na na!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?
Because it is in the ground state.
Because it is in the ground state.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Glad to find that this forum exists, hopefully it will make me smile when chem midterms are around the corner :)
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