Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Chemistry is really funny, there are even people who laugh at nitrogen(I) oxide.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

H20 is water and H202 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H204?

Drinking

[Bryant Vong 2G]

How many atoms in a guacamole?

Avocado's number

[Bryant Vong 2G]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

[Bryant Vong 2G]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?

A KNiFe

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Why are chemists great for solving problems?

They have all the solutions

[Bryant Vong 2G]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.

[Bryant Vong 2G]

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

Methylated Spirits

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

[AngelaZ 1J]

Two atoms are walking down the street…
One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

[AngelaZ 1J]

What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

[Giselle1B]

"What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?"
-"Keep telling them until you get a reaction."

[AngelaZ 1J]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

[AngelaZ 1J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.

[Giselle1B]

I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.

[Giselle1B]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Giselle1B]

"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'

[Giselle1B]

"I initially decided to write jokes about the Periodic Table, but never really felt I was in my element."

[AngelaZ 1J]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.

[AngelaZ 1J]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

[AngelaZ 1J]

Organic chemistry is difficult.

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[AngelaZ 1J]

If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

[AngelaZ 1J]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[AngelaZ 1J]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

Because they're cheaper than day rates.

[AngelaZ 1J]

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0K.

[Chem_Mod]

What do dipoles say in passing?
"Have you got a moment?"

:-)

[Chem_Mod]

"In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was 'I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step.'

Good one!

[Yilun Ding]

When a chemist dies, they barium.

[Yilun Ding]

never trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Yilun Ding]

Heisenberg was caught speeding. The cops pulled him over and asked "do you know how fast you were going? " Heisenberg says "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was!" The cops were like " you were going 120 mph in 80 mph zone!" Heisenberg says " Great! Now I am lost."

[Jennifer Zhou 1A]

This is really cute!! (More of a biology joke though

[Jennifer Zhou 1A]

isomers

[Jennifer Zhou 1A]

What can you make when you have 6.022x10^23 avocados?

Guacamole, because you gotta follow Avocado’s Law.

[Jennifer Zhou 1A]

Two chemists walk into a bar
The first chemist says I'll have some H2O. The second says I'll have some H2O too. The second one dies shortly after.

[Jeril Joseph 1B]

A gold atom went to a bar, and the bartender said, "Au, get out of here."

[Jennifer Zhou 1A]

Even FaceApp can't make this plastic bottle age well. Only recycling can do that.

[Yilun Ding]

A joke about photon.

[Yilun Ding]

A joke about Helium.

[Mitchell Koss 4G]

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

[Chetas Holagunda 3H]

Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?

It's pretty basic stuff.

[Matt Sanruk 2H]

It's so hard coming up with a good joke since all them argon.

[405335722]

I love to tell chemistry jokes!! But I only get a reaction periodically...

[Alex Hitti 3E]

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar.
The bartender exclaims "OH SNaP!"

[Cassandra_1K]

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?

It was CoRnY.

[Naren_Ramesh_4F]

This chemistry joke is really cheesy because all the good chemistry jokes Argon.

[madijohnson_4A]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

[Liliana Aguas 3G]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?



...... laboratory retrievers......

[Claire Grover 3G]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

[Jake Gallardo 3G]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make everything up

[plopezcordon_4C]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf because he always got a mole-in-one

[plopezcordon_4C]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution

[Amanda 3H]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Amanda 3H]

What is "HIJKLMNO"? H2O

[Kennya Ramos 1E]

Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te

[HannahBui 2K]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes? Keep telling them until you get a reaction!

[Amina Durrani 3G]

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

He He He (Helium Helium Helium)

[Hailey Kim 4G]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table...

... but then I realized I wasn't quite in my element.

[Chanel D_4E]

oxygen+sodium+sodium = O Na Na whats my name...

[Keerthana Sivathasan 2E]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Oduwole 1E]

Q: How often do chemists tell jokes?

A: Periodically

[405404782 Gabriel Rigole 4F]

Q: What did the officer molecule say to the suspect atom?

A:I got my ion you.

[Brian J Cheng 1I]

Friend: What's H2O?

Me: Water.

Friend: Ok, what's 100000000000000000000000000000000000H2O?

Me: IDK, a flood??

[Natalie Benitez 1E]

Me: Do you know why I make bad jokes about chemistry?
Friend: No, why?
Me: Because, all the good one's Argon.

[Natalie Benitez 1E]

Thanos got jokes!

[Adelpha Chan 1B]

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you

[Adelpha Chan 1B]

Are you a non volitaile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.

[Adelpha Chan 1B]

Q: How often do I tell chemistry jokes?
A: Periodically

[Ashley Fang 2G]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
I slapped my neon that one!

[Ashley Fang 2G]

The one true bro

[Ashley Fang 2G]

Yes, I am positive!

[Ashley Fang 2G]

Hohoho

[AnvitaaAnandkumar_1B]

Q: What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
A: Mole-tiple choice.

[Kavee Dodampahala 4E]

If no one laughs at your chem jokes, keep going until you get a reaction.

[Yailin Romo 4G]

did you know that you can cool yourself to -237.15C and still be OK?

[Yailin Romo 4G]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you cant helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Yailin Romo 4G]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK

[Yailin Romo 4G]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

[Yailin Romo 4G]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state, and half in the vapor state.

[Matt Sanruk 2H]

Iron Man is a man, but he is also FeMale

[Areli C 1L]

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

How have I never heard this one! HAHAh! :')

[Areli C 1L]

If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.

Anyone know any jokes about the element sodium?
Na.

Have been trying to figure out the first joke for almost a year and I can't figure out lmao

Hahah it's great. So the first is telling you the formula of water and then the next is telling you what it's for... H204 (for)

[ZevMarx-Kahn3C]

The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.

[ZevMarx-Kahn3C]

A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."

[Debora Fernandez Clemente_ 4H]

Enjoy!

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.

“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

[Chanel D_4E]

Q: What two elements do sheep belt when happy?
A: BaH!!

[Merin Padayatty 3G]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[Emil Velasco 1H]

Studying chem has shown me a lot of funny jokes

He He He

[Amy Xiao 1I]

What element best describes me?

The element of indecision: Imnotsurium

[Amy Xiao 1I]

My Chem teacher argued that Iron Man was a woman.

Fe-male