Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Geovanni_Suarez_3A]

How are oxidation-reduction reactions different than a clothing store?...

At the clothing store, when the price is reduced, it doesn't gain anything.

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Rhea Kundan_2G]

I'm the pessimist

[Ting Zheng 3L]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Melanie_Wong_1K]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[904621096]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[904621096]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Jana_Lang_2B]

[Ian Brown 1K]

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

[Jaz_Y_1H]

A little late Valentine's Day post

[Ace 3F]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.....

He replies "No I'm traveling light"

[lilyjustine_1G]

[Cerjay_Lugtu_3B]

"Want to hear a joke about potassium?"

"K."

[ChiragThadaniDis2M]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?

Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

take all your lame chem jokes and barium!

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

q: why did the bear dissolve in water?
a: because it was a polar bear!

[Brian_Mena_1J]

Jokes..jokes everywhere

[Gonzalez_Liliana_1K]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[GabrielaGutierrez2A]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Taravat_Lakzian_1C]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[genesis_escobar_2M]

lol

[Chris Yeh 3D]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be alloys.

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

Week 6 post

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

Week 7 Post

lol

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

.

[Franklin Kong 3D]

Chemistree
https://sciencenotes.org/wp-content/upl ... s-tree.png

[Tania_Torres_3O]

what did one ion say to the other ion?
A: I've got my ion you.

[Tania_Torres_3O]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[504829531]

Why does a hamburger have a lower energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.

[Meera McAdam 1C]

Why did the electrode go to jail?

He was charged with a salt and battery.

[Samart_Condon_1D]

How do you make a 24 molar solution? Put your artificial teeth in water.

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[Julia_Wenzel_1E]

How does a gas laugh?

He He He

[Anya_Alag_3J]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race. When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Anya_Alag_3J]

Chemistry pick-up lines:
Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

[Anya_Alag_3J]

Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.

[Anya_Alag_3J]

The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.

Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge

[Neha Nibber 3H]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Jasmine_Bagnas_1D]

Enjoy the joke

[Alex Phu 2c]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[Evan Lee 2D]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

[Jonathan_Hu_2C]

Taveling Photon Joke!

[Ryan Doyle 3E]

Q: Why can't you trust an enthalpy pirate?
A: Because he'll steal all your joules matey

[Katie_Ho_1M]

You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I!

[Gus_Guinto_2F]

[Grace 3G]

[Chris Liddicoat]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Ann Zhang_1M]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[GevickSafarians_14B]

CASH ME WITH THESE CHEMISTRY JOKES!

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

[Terry1A]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Hyun Young Lee 2H]

Q:Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?

A:Because Polar compounds dissolved in water.

[Hyun Young Lee 2H]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

A: Fe breeze.

[Hyun Young Lee 2H]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution.

[StephZou_2G]

Q: What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A: A polar bear.

[Karishma_Patel3E]

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Jeana Wei 3C]

[Krishil_Gandhi_1D]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6022-1023.

[ben maryamian]

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It’s in the ground state

[Hannah Liu 2A]

cation
cat-i-on
pronunciation: kat-ahy-uh n
noun

1. an ion with a paws-itive charge

[Helen 3C]

:)

[AndyL3I]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[ChristinaN1L]

I gave all my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

[Melody Li 2L]

chem joke.jpg (17.17 KiB) Viewed 19360 times

[ChristinaN1L]

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[RitaChang_2C]

Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

Why does a hamburger have a lower energy state than a steak?

It is in the ground state.

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

Chemists are bad at telling jokes...

They lack the element of surprise.

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Lindsey Lill]

Know any good jokes about sodium?

Na

[sas_budge_1l]

[a_jeny2E]

H2O is water and H2O4 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking

[em_farag]

spreading some positivity

[Jared Gao 3G]

what do you do when a chemist dies? you barium

[maria_tamondong_1L]

Let's get married and live a life like monosaccharides... sweet and simple:)

[Anisha Patel 1G]

lol

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

:)

[kgiesch1N]

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

[Kevin Bangi 1A]

Q: What is the chemical symbol for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2

[Rachel_Bressler_3I]

How many atoms in a guacamole?
Avocado's number.

[Aya_Elarid_2H]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[Sylvia_Cai_3D]

Q: Do you have any sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

[Annie Zhang_ 3C]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

[Alexa_Kwang_1D]

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates!

[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI !

[Iris Feng 2I]

What was NaCl arrested for?

A salt.

[Joshua Song 2M]

Why do Potassium and rate constant make such a relaxed couple?

They're both K with everything.

[Cindy Ngo 1E]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[304779711]

If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

[304779711]

~What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
~OH SNaP!

[304779711]

~What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
~Fe-breeze

[TiengTum2D]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."