Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm not sure if this one has been done before :D
Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Heisenberg: No, but I know exactly where I am.
Cop: You were doing 55 in a 30.
Heisenberg: Great, now I'm lost.
Cop: What's in the trunk?
Schrodinger: My cat.
The cop opens the trunk.
Cop: Your cat is dead.
Schrodinger: Well it is now, thanks a lot
Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Heisenberg: No, but I know exactly where I am.
Cop: You were doing 55 in a 30.
Heisenberg: Great, now I'm lost.
Cop: What's in the trunk?
Schrodinger: My cat.
The cop opens the trunk.
Cop: Your cat is dead.
Schrodinger: Well it is now, thanks a lot
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
why did the attacking army use acid? to neutralize the enemy's base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what do you call a tooth in a glass of water? a one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
if H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
DRINKING LOL
DRINKING LOL
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemistry students walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'd like some H20." The other one says, "I'd like some H20, too!" The second chemist died. :))
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
Because its pretty BASIC stuff
Because its pretty BASIC stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
did u hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? he's OK now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? he's ok now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was going to tell a chemistry joke but I was afraid I would get no reaction
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution
A one molar solution
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I need someone to look after my electron today, do you mind keeping a ion it for me?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what do you do with a sick chemist?
if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the guy that cooled himself to -273.15˚C and was still 0K?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Gold is my favorite part of the periodic table because it is AU-some!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one atom say to the other on their first date?
--> I think we bonded.
--> I think we bonded.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was ~CoRnY~
It was ~CoRnY~
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm starting to think these jokes are too basic for everyone because I see no reaction..get it
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
This one blew me out of the water
This one blew me out of the water
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
(I hope no one has done this one)
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
(I hope no one has done this one)
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
idella 1D wrote:What is one of the worst compounds to use for chemistry?
Uranium Scandium
(USc)
proud to say that prof. Lavelle used this joke in today's lecture :D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This one is a pickup line that I told my friend during a titration lab in AP Chem back in the day: hey girl, I must be phenophthalein because you make me turn bright pink ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
idella 1D wrote:idella 1D wrote:What is one of the worst compounds to use for chemistry?
Uranium Scandium
(USc)
proud to say that prof. Lavelle used this joke in today's lecture :D
Haha I loved this one!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I think my chemistry teacher might be asleep...
Today there hasn't been even one reaction from him.
Today there hasn't been even one reaction from him.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a mixture of carbon and aluminum?
The second best public university in the nation!
The second best public university in the nation!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is Batman's favorite element?
Sodium. Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman!
I'm sorry for the terrible joke.
Sodium. Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman!
I'm sorry for the terrible joke.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do Switzerland and H20 have in common?
They always remain neutral!
They always remain neutral!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does Michael Lithium say when he loses an electron. Helium Helium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard of Boyle's Law?
It's a law stating that the pressure of a given mass of an ideal gas is inversely proportional to its volume at a constant temperature.
Now building on top of that, have you ever heard of Cole's Law?
It's a salad dish of raw cabbage, carrots, and other vegetables mixed with mayonnaise.
It's a law stating that the pressure of a given mass of an ideal gas is inversely proportional to its volume at a constant temperature.
Now building on top of that, have you ever heard of Cole's Law?
It's a salad dish of raw cabbage, carrots, and other vegetables mixed with mayonnaise.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My Mom said to stop drinking soda because it has acid in it.
I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".
I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I’ve been informed that jokes about acids are a waste of time.
They say that basic jokes have a higher potential.
They say that basic jokes have a higher potential.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms instead of carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel
A ferrous wheel
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
A: He got Avogadro's number!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Now we're making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
*Be a doctor
Me- I'm so sorry sir we had to remove the extra Dihydrogen Monoxide that was building up in your bladder but unfortunately there was just too much left in there still.
Patient- Oh my [censored], what is it how do I cure it please help me
Me- well you should be fine just go to the restroom and stop eating those [censored] ice chips
Patient-:(
Me- I'm so sorry sir we had to remove the extra Dihydrogen Monoxide that was building up in your bladder but unfortunately there was just too much left in there still.
Patient- Oh my [censored], what is it how do I cure it please help me
Me- well you should be fine just go to the restroom and stop eating those [censored] ice chips
Patient-:(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number
Because he got Avogadro's number
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walked into a bar and ordered a drink, and the bartender gave the drink for free. The neutron asked why the drink was free, and the bartender replied, "for you no charge."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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