Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[alebenavides]

Why did the acid go to the gym? to become a buffer SOLUTION

[NayeliPlayas_1L]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

[Nicolette Simoni 3L]

I am just like ΔH... because I am constantly pressured. :)

[isha dis3d]

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.

[Darren1j]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?........Because it was polar! ( no? okay)

[Randi Ruelas 1G]

I would post a good chemistry joke but all the good ones ARGON

[Becca Nelson 3F]

Oxygen and Magnesium were going out together.

I said "OMg that is a party!"

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[vbarian27]

Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down.

[vbarian27]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[vbarian27]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[vbarian27]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”

[vbarian27]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

It's pretty basic

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why was Avogadro a mini golf champ?

He always got a mole in one

[JakeSaum_1A]

What did the chemist say after the explosion in the lab?

Oxidants happen

[Brianna Martilla 1C]

Man: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?

Judge: Yes, that's assault.

Man: I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

[Anvy 1G]

Why are people a lot like atoms?

They are both empty inside and if you combine the wrong ones they react BADLY

[Nan_Guan_1L]

saw this on instagram lmao

[Shana Patel 1C]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
-> A-mean-oh acid

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

[Mari Williams 1K]

Why did the attacking army use acid?

To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[jasonfarrales3D]

This one made me laugh more than it should have.

[AHUNT_1A]

Just because this is from tiktok I Like Gold but the A is silent :)

[Truman Chong Dis 3G]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why are physicists still considered "not" cool...
When Thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?

[Jaden Ward 3J]

So engineering school is really hard...
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Dental Chemistry Riddle
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Ion Riddle
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

[Biona Hui 1G]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic stuff.

[Hannah_Kim_1I]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry joke?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction!

[Anusha Chaudhary 1J]

You are definitely made up of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium because you are Be - Au - Ti - ful.

[Sukhkiran Kaur 3I]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

[Sukhkiran Kaur 3I]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Anusha Chaudhary 1J]

Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu Te.

Sorry for the lame joke, but all the good ones Argon.

[JasmineCap1A]

Sea water chemical formula? CH2O

[ShinwooKim_3E]

What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Becca Nelson 3F]

What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory retrievers!

[JakeSaum_1A]

What's the dullest element?
Bohrium

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar

[isha dis3d]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Lisa Seidl 3H]

I was going to try to post some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon!

[Jaden Ward 3J]

What did the cat say after drinking methanol?
MeOH MeOH

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why was the DJ called DJ Enzyme?
He was always breaking it down.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?
Oxidants happen.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They are cheaper than day rates.

[Jaden Ward 3J]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
I got my ion you.

[Yu Jin Kwon 3L]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?







H2O cubed.

[Yu Jin Kwon 3L]

If I were a balloon, I would have flown away by now because these jokes got me He₃ing!

[rachelhchem1I]

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating?

OMg!

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Jessie Hsu 1C]

heheh

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What's the dullest element?
Bohrium!

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

[805377003]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[805377003]

What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2

[805377003]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

[805377003]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

[805377003]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Gerardo Ortega 2F]

What do you get when you mix protactinium, iodine, and nitrogen? PaIN

[Shana Patel 1C]

Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
-> Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full

[keely_bales_1f]

Gold is the best element. Why you ask?

Because it is AU-some.

[Bella Bursulaya 3G]

When Q = K

[Mari Williams 1K]

A man was arrested last night for drinking battery acid, and later he was charged.

[Sarah Huh 1K]

Do you like Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO

[Neel Bonthala 2G]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^-23 pieces? A guacamole.

[vbarian27]

What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

[vbarian27]

If you're not part of the solution…you're part of the precipitate.

[vbarian27]

What element is a girl's future best friend? Carbon!

[vbarian27]

What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[vbarian27]

What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

[Jalaia Jackson 2G]

If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?

Drinking, bathing, and lots of other activities.

[JasmineCap1A]

Carbon decided to marry Hydrogen due to their bond

[Truman Chong Dis 3G]

[JasmineCap1A]

I'm Bohr'd learning about electrons

[Nicole Critzer 2L]

I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don't think I'll be in my element

[jasonfarrales3D]

How did the chemist greet his chemist friend on her birthday?
"Hydrogen Phosphorous Phosphorous Yttrium
Boron Irdium Thorium Dysprosium!"

[Gabe_Ek 1G]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't Helium and you can't curium, then you're going to have to Barium

[Emma Healy 2J]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?


A mean-oh acid!

[Emma Healy 2J]

Never trust an atom...
They make up everything

[Emma Healy 2J]

Why are skeletons good at chopping trees?


Because they're lumbar-jacks!

[Emma Healy 2J]

What's a kidney's favorite instrument?


The organ!

[Mansi Solanki 3A]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

[isha dis3d]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

[Akshata Kapadne 2K]

Exothermic reactions?
I liked them before they were COOL.