Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are thermometers the most intelligent tool of measurement?
Because they have so many degrees!
Because they have so many degrees!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I can only make bad chemistry jokes because all the funny ones Argon :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd like to make a chemistry joke here, but all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium or curium, might as well barium.
If you can't helium or curium, might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When one chemist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base
To neutralize the enemy's base
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a bad one for fellow Marvel fans: If Quicksilver and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
OK THIS IS GONNNA BE GOOD (I saw it on Reddit somewhere long time ago)
A photon walks into a hotel and the front desk manager asks it, "do you need any assistance with your luggage?"
the photon responds, "no, I'm travelling light"
A photon walks into a hotel and the front desk manager asks it, "do you need any assistance with your luggage?"
the photon responds, "no, I'm travelling light"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution!
A: One molar solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Wow, these jokes are so hilarious! Here's one.
I tell only bad jokes because the good ones argon.
I'm a comedic genius.
I tell only bad jokes because the good ones argon.
I'm a comedic genius.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a bad one:
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joke:
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it?
A: Completely full, half with liquid and half with air
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it?
A: Completely full, half with liquid and half with air
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it's pretty basic stuff :)
Because it's pretty basic stuff :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Not sure if it's already been posted but:
A proton, a neutron, and an electron walk into a bar. The proton and electron ask the bartender how much for a drink and, after answering, the particles pay up the bartender's tab. When the neutron asks the bartender how much for a drink the bartender responds, "for you, no charge".
A proton, a neutron, and an electron walk into a bar. The proton and electron ask the bartender how much for a drink and, after answering, the particles pay up the bartender's tab. When the neutron asks the bartender how much for a drink the bartender responds, "for you, no charge".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Nobody likes talking to Potassium because his responses are always dry. He only responds with "K"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
After lecture, the professor asked Chlorine, Arsenic, and Sulfur "so how did you all end up getting to know each other?", to which they responded "we just have ClAsS together, thats all."
Last edited by Calvin Su 1B on Sat Oct 02, 2021 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did some students decide not to attend the professor's OH?
They thought it was just basic information
They thought it was just basic information
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Protons and electrons never agree on the same thing:
Protons see the glass as half full whereas electrons see the glass as half empty
Protons see the glass as half full whereas electrons see the glass as half empty
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Scientists recently discovered a rare new element called Beautium and it looks like you’re made out of it.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK!
(not original content)
It went OK!
(not original content)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This might be inappropriate, but oh well...
I might be a chem major but I'm no Bohr in bed ;)
I might be a chem major but I'm no Bohr in bed ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A Chemist, a Biologist, and a Mathematician...
Were sitting on a bench in front of a hotel, and see two people enter, then three people exit. The chemist claims that they must have been an error in the initial measurements, the biologist says they must have procreated, thus creating another person, the mathematician states that if one more person enters the building, the building would then be empty.
Not original, but I thought it was funny!
Were sitting on a bench in front of a hotel, and see two people enter, then three people exit. The chemist claims that they must have been an error in the initial measurements, the biologist says they must have procreated, thus creating another person, the mathematician states that if one more person enters the building, the building would then be empty.
Not original, but I thought it was funny!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?"
"How did it go?"
"It went OK2!"
"How did it go?"
"It went OK2!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
- They're cheaper than day rates!
- They're cheaper than day rates!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do with a sick chemist?
- If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
- If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was about to finish the homework about sodium, but then I was like Na.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walked into a club filled with electrons and protons and asked how much ticket admissions were to get in. The ticket vendor said in reply,"For you, it's free of charge."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I thought it would be funny to explain chemistry jokes.
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
This joke is referring to helium's low density. Helium is the second-lightest element on the periodic table which makes it lighter or less dense than air itself. Allowing the helium to escape Earth's atmosphere.
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
This joke is referring to helium's low density. Helium is the second-lightest element on the periodic table which makes it lighter or less dense than air itself. Allowing the helium to escape Earth's atmosphere.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
"That's as-salt!"
"That's as-salt!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm positive!"
One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you wanna be able to tell who is a chemist ask them to say unionized.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's the dullest element?
A: Bohrium!
Honorary Mention:
Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A: A-mean-oh Acid
A: Bohrium!
Honorary Mention:
Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A: A-mean-oh Acid
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a good way to remember cation and anion charges?
Cations are pawsitive.
Cations are pawsitive.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Though very cheesy, these jokes genuinely made me laugh while I'm studying for a quiz. Thank you guys lol
Also a very bad cliche joke: My friend and I were making cookies. I told him to get the baking soda, and he then proceeded to open the stove and say "there's no soda baking in here" lol.
Also a very bad cliche joke: My friend and I were making cookies. I told him to get the baking soda, and he then proceeded to open the stove and say "there's no soda baking in here" lol.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I’m sorry for everyone reading this, but:
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar, the bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
Helium doesn’t react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"It's me, Salt"
"Sorry man ion know you"
"Who's there?"
"It's me, Salt"
"Sorry man ion know you"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A comedian delivered a very big punchline to his audience. One scientist responded with "Hah, that one's a classic."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Which music period was relatively large scale? The Classical Period.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
It was CoRnY.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When Magnesium saw Oxygen, he said, "I was sure there was some chemical reaction between you and me. OMg, I was right!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Lose an electron? Well that's because you didn't keep your ion it.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
Kind of dark but oh well.
Kind of dark but oh well.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!
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