Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?........Because it was polar! ( no? okay)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen and Magnesium were going out together.
I said "OMg that is a party!"
I said "OMg that is a party!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
A: Never lick the spoon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
A: He just couldn’t put it down.
A: He just couldn’t put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say after the explosion in the lab?
Oxidants happen
Oxidants happen
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Man: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Judge: Yes, that's assault.
Man: I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
Judge: Yes, that's assault.
Man: I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are people a lot like atoms?
They are both empty inside and if you combine the wrong ones they react BADLY
They are both empty inside and if you combine the wrong ones they react BADLY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!
To neutralize the enemy's base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Just because this is from tiktok I Like Gold but the A is silent :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are physicists still considered "not" cool...
When Thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?
When Thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So engineering school is really hard...
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Dental Chemistry Riddle
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Ion Riddle
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.
What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.
It's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry joke?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction!
Keep telling them until you get a reaction!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You are definitely made up of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium because you are Be - Au - Ti - ful.
Last edited by Anusha Chaudhary 1J on Sun Jan 24, 2021 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu Te.
Sorry for the lame joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Sorry for the lame joke, but all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was going to try to post some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?
Oxidants happen.
Oxidants happen.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They are cheaper than day rates.
They are cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If I were a balloon, I would have flown away by now because these jokes got me He3ing!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.
A: He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you mix protactinium, iodine, and nitrogen? PaIN
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
-> Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full
-> Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A man was arrested last night for drinking battery acid, and later he was charged.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^-23 pieces? A guacamole.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution…you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other activities.
Drinking, bathing, and lots of other activities.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I want to write some jokes about the periodic table… But I don't think I'll be in my element
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist greet his chemist friend on her birthday?
"Hydrogen Phosphorous Phosphorous Yttrium
Boron Irdium Thorium Dysprosium!"
"Hydrogen Phosphorous Phosphorous Yttrium
Boron Irdium Thorium Dysprosium!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't Helium and you can't curium, then you're going to have to Barium
If you can't Helium and you can't curium, then you're going to have to Barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are skeletons good at chopping trees?
Because they're lumbar-jacks!
Because they're lumbar-jacks!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
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