Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[805383532]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they’d be alloys.

[305086803]

"Close the window, you're letting the cold in"

"well... actually the second law of Thermodynamics states that heat goes out"

[305086803]

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

[305086803]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

[305086803]

Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

[305086803]

Q: What does a teary-eyed, joyful Santa say about chemistry?
A: HOH, HOH, HOH!

[305086803]

An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

[305086803]

Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocados number.

[305086803]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[305086803]

Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

[305086803]

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

oxygen went for a second date with potassium and
It went OK2!

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI

[Ashley Fang 2G]

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg

[Ashley Fang 2G]

Do you have 11 protons?
Because you're sodium fine!

[Emily Burghart 1k]

Chem jokes

[JohannaPerezH2F]

good luck on finals yall

[Maika Ngoie 1B]

[Maika Ngoie 1B]

me @Lavelle

[Julia Holsinger_1A]

[Connor Ho 1B]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?



Drinking.

[Naji Sarsam 1F]

As my last post for chemistry community ever:

Never trust an atom...

I've heard they make up everything...

[JosephineF]

we're all gonna be this cool after we finish this final

[JosephineF]

How everyone is about to be with spring quarter online classes

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Man: I wish I was the Enzyme DNA Helicase.
Woman: Why?
Man: So I could unzip your genes.

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of drinks. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!”

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Do you know a good chemistry joke?
No sorry, all of them argon

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.

He was 0k.

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

I’m reading a chemistry book about helium.
I can’t put it down.

[Julia Holsinger_1A]

[805383532]

I would tell you a joke about chemistry, but they Argon.

[805383532]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me. I’m still salty.

[805383532]

Atoms are hard to trust. I heard they make up everything...

[Kaylee Sepulveda 4G]

What happens when oxygen atoms get haircuts?


They donate their lone hairs :)

[Kaylee Sepulveda 4G]

A few moles of lithium hexafluorophosphate were sentenced to five years in prison.



They were charged with a salt in battery. :)

[Oduwole 1E]

Two chemists walk into a bar.

One says, "I'll have H2O."

The other says, "Ill have H2O too."

The second chemist died.

[Ivan Tadeja 1G]

Have you heard about that one chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down ;)

[Yailin Romo 4G]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

[Jaklin Astvatsatryan]

Are you made out of beryllium, ununtrium, and titanium ? Cause you're a BeUTi

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state!

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded

[Alan Cornejo 1a]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

[005290099]

Q:What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

[005290099]

Q:What helped the weak acid molecules go on strike?

A: They unionized.

[005290099]

What do you do with a dead chemist
You Barium!

[005290099]

Organic chemistry is hard, I'm having alkynes of trouble

[Neha Gupta 2A]

Why did fluorine, francium, chlorine, and cesium go to anger management class?

They had to work on being less reactive.

[sophie esherick 3H]

I really want to be able write good jokes about the periodic table but I don't think I'll be in my element. I would try to come up with other good chem jokes but i'm pretty sure all the good ones argon already.

[Jaden Ji 2K]

What type of fish is made out of two atoms? 2Na!

[Sarah Huang 3A]

Situation: Two chemists walk into Kemist Bar. They sit at the table and the bartender asks for their drinks. The first chemist asks for H2O, and the second chemist said "I'll have H2O, too!" The bartender came back with their drinks and the first chemist quenched thier thirst and went to the bathroom. When they came out, the chemist saw their partner dead on the table. What happened?




Answer: The bartender misinterpreted the second chemist's drink, thinking they said H2O2, which is Hydrogen Peroxide. The chemist drank it without looking, leading to their death. Sad stuff :(

[Sarah Huang 3A]

Hydrogen: Hey Helium, mind sharing an electron, for old times sake? Y'know, since sharing is caring?

Helium: um...... no.

Hydrogen: Well that's not very noble of you.




I'm sorry, that may have been a terrible jokes xD

[Becca Nelson 3F]

What do you do if nobody laughs at your chemistry jokes?

You wait for them to have a reaction!

[Allan Nguyen 2G]

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear

[Nandhini Ekambaram 1L]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?


He just couldn't put it down.

[Sunny Wu 3A]

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" and he died.

[rachelhchem1I]

How do you become the most cited scientist of all time?

Change your name to "et al".

[Massimo_Capozza_1G]

What do you call a clown in jail?
A Silicon!

[Jagveer 1I]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[Jagveer 1I]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

Don't trust atoms...They make up everything!

[Arnav Saud 2C]

For new jokes,it's good to check this forum periodically.

[Elena Chen 2E]

My high school chem teacher showed us this meme and this is genuinely still how I remember which ion is which.

[Darren1j]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK..

[Darren1j]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Sara_Lim_2C]

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

[505598869]

Chemistry jokes are Na funny.

[Anastasia Yulo 1C]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[805377003]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Liam Bertrand 3]

What's the dullest element?
Bohrium!

[Maddie Turk Disc 2J]

Q: Why did the attacking army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Maddie Turk Disc 2J]

We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones ARGON.

[Lizbeth Garcia 1F]

I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out. OMg

[Micaela Estavillo]

What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!

[Micaela Estavillo]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[vbarian27]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[vbarian27]

Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!

[vbarian27]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender gives him a smile and says, "For you, no charge."

[vbarian27]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

[vbarian27]

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? He picked it up before it was cool.

[vbarian27]

What is HIJKLMNO? H2O!

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why did the attacking army use ACID weapons?
To neutralize the enemy BASE

[JakeSaum_1A]

I'd tell another chemistry joke but it looks like all the good ones ARGON

[305614361]

Honestly, I don't have any chemistry jokes, so I will Boron back

[Becca Nelson 3F]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport?

Golf... He always got a MOLE in one.

[Emma Healy 2J]

Haha good one!

[Megan ODonnell 3F]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Dominic Benna 2E]

What is HIJKLMNO?



H2O

[Brandon Carris]

Another joke!

Q: how do you treat a sick chemist!?
A: first you try helium, but if that doesn't work try curium, and if that doesn't work it looks like you gotta barium!

yay!

[Elena Chen 2E]

[lauren_tran_1L]

what is batman's favorite element?
sodium! na na na na na na na na!

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

I like chemistry jokes because they are funny. HeHeHe.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2

[rachelhchem1I]

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

[idella 1D]

Glad to find that this forum exists, hopefully it will make me smile when chem midterms are around the corner :)