Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Giselle Simmons 2D]

What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!

[Giselle Simmons 2D]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Ameerah Hameed 3B]

Question: Are you Na+ ?
Answer: because you are SODIUM fine!!

[Maddy Trotter 3D]

a photon walks into a hotel and they ask if he needs any help with his bags. The photon says "no thanks, I'm travelling light"

[Parinita Jithendra 2A]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender. tehehe

[Abigail Tran 14a]

What should do you do with a dead Chemist?

Barium!

[Abigail Tran 14a]

What should do you do with a dead Chemist?

Barium!

[kareena_prasad]

Not really a joke but a helpful saying:
boron is a moron because it wants 6 electrons.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

I'd tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

My chemistry jokes never get a reaction.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium!

[Aditya Desai 1A]

What do you do with a sick chemist? Curium!

[Aditya Desai 1A]

What did the sodium say to the chloride? Na.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Aditya Desai 1A]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Aditya Desai 1A]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? The beef is in ground state.

[Aditya Desai 1A]

Always drink with neutrons; there's no charge!

[Violet Mbela 2B]

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

Please, someone test that one out!

[Julia Todorov 2F]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

its okay I didn't laugh either

[Danielle Andal 3F]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Kirsten Yu 2K]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.” The second chemist dies.

[Calvin Su 1B]

What's the highest medal of honor an inert gas can receive?

The noble prize

[Calvin Su 1B]

Why are Molybdenum, Neon, and Yttrium always together?

Legends say they're in it for the money.

[Calvin Su 1B]

Which two elements were the most surprised to be paired together for the experiment?

Oxygen + Magnesium

[daniellediem1k]

Why do hamburgers have less energy than steak??

- because their in their ground state! hahah

[905715668]

Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Potassium walk into a room.

"OH SNaP"-someone exclaims

[905715668]

I guess people didn't like my chemistry joke. It didn't get the reaction I wanted.

[905715668]

-Do you want to hear a joke about Nitrogen and Oxygen?
-NO

[905715668]

-Why is it so easy to work with hydroxides?

-They're pretty basic.

[Brandon Achugbue 3H]

What is the most acidic soup?

Ph0

[Brandon Achugbue 3H]

My chemistry teacher asked me what's an acid + base?

A good party wasn't the correct answer, apparently.

[Ally Mosher]

Why did the attacking army use acid....

To neutralize the enemy's base!

[Chem_Mod]

My chemistry teacher asked me what's an acid + base?

A good party wasn't the correct answer, apparently.

LOL!
I think that is great humor.

[505705039]

A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold".

[Brenda Tran 3C]

Q: What did the proton say to the electron?

A: Why are you so negative?

[Rishab_Haldar_3B]

H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed.

[Calvin Su 1B]

The iron and carbon came in a discounted value pack at the local shop.

What a steel!

[sadiebrebes]

The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom.

[Uma Patil 2A]

I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out and I said O Mg !

[Uma Patil 2A]

what did the other elements say to hydrogen? what a loner!

[Uma Patil 2A]

I try to tell chemistry jokes, but i get no reaction :(

[Uma Patil 2A]

I cant tell any chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Uma Patil 2A]

Lose an electron? better keep an ion it.

[Uma Patil 2A]

Lose an electron? better keep an ion it.

[Uma Patil 2A]

what do call an acid with an attitude?

a-mean-o acid

[Uma Patil 2A]

did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK.

[Rena Wu 3E]

Not a joke but I found this picture funny lol

IMG_7628.JPG (27.53 KiB) Viewed 23488 times

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What element is a girl's future best friend? Carbon.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What is the name of 007’s Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it’s in the ground state.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

[905701360]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you?
Because I see no reaction.

[Konmal Ali 1G]

A photon walks into a party. He sees his friend on the other side of the room, so he waves.

[805752034]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[Irene Kim 3E]

How often does a chemist need coffee?

They need caffeine periodically.

[Calvin Su 1B]

What type of cloud promotes the most negativity?

An electron cloud

[Calvin Su 1B]

Why do metals have the hardest time keeping their "cool" at a night club?

They're surrounded by hot people all night

[Brandon Achugbue 3H]

Two electrons in a covalent bond are hanging out:

Electron 1: Aren't you from Hydrogen?

Electron 2: Yeah, way over on the west side! Always moving around though. What about you?

Electron 1: Chlorine, it's not too bad. Got a pretty stable group of friends.

Electron 2: What are you doing around here then?

Electron 1: Oh you know, just getting out of my bubble, tryna meet some people.

Electron 2: Yeah, I getcha. Kinda ionic how you make so many close bonds when you move away from home.

[605721741]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

[605721741]

What do you call a clown in jail? A Silicon!

[Diana peng 3I]

Any one want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!

[Serene Liu 3H]

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

[LukeYing_3H]

One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415 x 10^23 guacas. One might even call it, avocado's number.

[305692127]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

[Calvin Su 1B]

Why are so many chemists engaged in politics?

I don't know. It's just that polarizing I guess.

[Calvin Su 1B]

"I wonder why chemists are all so great at problem-solving?"

"Duh it's because they have all the solutions"

[Calvin Su 1B]

A pessimist sees the glass as half empty. An optimist sees the glass as half full. A chemist sees the glass as completely full: half full of liquid and half full of gas.

[Vincent Nguyen 3G]

I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were getting married... OMg!

[Calvin Su 1B]

Why is Pi much better off than Sigma?

Because at the very least he isn't single.

[Emily2J]

these are amazing! hahaha

[Calvin Su 1B]

If H2O is water, then what is sea water?

C-H2O

[Emily2J]

the fact that I have been reading through this thread for the past twenty minutes lol

[zackdouchy]

Hope everyone lost an electron after this second midterm and feels positive.

[Olivia Peony Dis 2A]

1. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

2. Old chemists never die.
They just stop reacting!

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O."
The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!"
...The second chemist dies

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded!

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

What did silver say to gold at a bar?
Au! Get outta here!

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Teacher: "Anyone got any jokes about sodium?"
Student: "Na"

[JafarriNocentelli 1G]

Well, I'd love to post some more chemistry jokes but all the good ones argon

[Amy Kalteis 2F]

I think these jokes are sodium funny. I even slapped my neon that one!

[Brandon Achugbue 3H]

Why are kids drawn to Santa's gifts?

They're made out of polar molecules.

[LillianHarvey2C]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
At least I have a degree!

[Irene Kim 3E]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was a polar bear.

[Allison Mercado-3F]

This thread keeps me going please continue to post more

[AJackman]

Barium, I don't have any chemistry jokes!

I'm sorry.

[AJackman]

FlourineUraniumCarbonPotassium UraniumSulfurCarbon !!!

[Chloe Fuson]

Q: Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?

A: Because it's in the ground state!

[Calvin Su 1B]

Are you the acid to my litmus paper?

Because every time I meet you I turn bright red

[Calvin Su 1B]

One chemist said to the other, "I wish your name was Avogadro because then I would already know your number"

[Calvin Su 1B]

There's no way you're not made from Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium... because you're BeAuTi-ful.

[605823283]

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the base!!!!

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom.

[Dianne Ayala 1B]

Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium cute.