Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Jordan_OBrien_2k]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Summer_Corona 3L]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

[LexyDenaburg_3A]

Did you know that Oxygen went for a second date with Potassium?

How did it go?

It went OK2

[LexyDenaburg_3A]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

This is a good one!!!

[Jade Lastra 3B]

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

[Nathaly Cruz 2D]

Q: what do you call an acid with an attitude?
A: a-mean-oh acid

[vbarian27]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[vbarian27]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[vbarian27]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[vbarian27]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[vbarian27]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Breanna Ouyang 1I]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?
HeHe

[Breanna Ouyang 1I]

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron

[Victoria Dao 3G]

Do you want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Guess i'll just have to post bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Megan Hulsy 1A]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!

[Megan Hulsy 1A]

What is the chemical formula for "coffee"? CoFe2

[Becca Nelson 3F]

why did the white bear dissolve in water?

because he was POLAR!

[Christine Nguyen 3D]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Darren1j]

I'm sad that the jokes on here have slowed down. They used to be posted everyday, but now they only happen periodically.

[Darren1j]

I told this one to my mom earlier ^. Sadly, I got no reaction :(

[Aliya 1H]

May the [mass times acceleration] be with you.

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[Shana Patel 1C]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
.
.
.
I got my ION you!

[AHUNT_1A]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates!

[AHUNT_1A]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
.
.
.
I got my ION you!

I can't stop laughing at this

[Sean Wang 1F]

Chemist: Hey girl, are you made up of copper and tellurium?
Girl: No, Why did you ask?
Chemist: Because you are Cu-Te

[Sachi Sengupta 2C]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

I'm out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

Doctor to patient: You're low on Magnesium
Me: 0mg

[jasonfarrales3D]

Me: Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?

Friend: I don't know, why?

Me: Because it's in the ground state.

Friend: *starts laughing hysterically*

[Ryan Agcaoili 2E]

Did you hear that oxygen when on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

[jia207]

I thought about cutting my sodium intake, but then I was like Na :)

[Lillian]

Q: Wanna hear a chemistry joke?
A: Na.

[alebenavides]

did u know that oxygen went on a second date with potassium?
how did it go ?
it went OK2

[Alara Aygen 3K]

I would write more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.

[Ryan Hoang 1D]

What do you get when you mix some carbon, oxygen, and a little bit of heat?

My house.

(I'm from Irvine during the Silverado fire).

[Breanna Ouyang 1I]

A photon checks into a hotel, and the desk clerk asks, "Have you any luggage?"
To which the photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

[Breanna Ouyang 1I]

What do you get when you mix some carbon, oxygen, and a little bit of heat?

My house.

(I'm from Irvine during the Silverado fire).

Sorry to say this made me laugh out loud

[Taylor K 2D]

Here are some chem memes I made in my high school chem class lol

[Becca Nelson 3F]

What is the 2nd best public university's favorite element?

Berkelium!

[Charlie Russell 2L]

What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

[Shana Patel 1C]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
.
.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

[JakeSaum_1A]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Shana Patel 1C]

What is the 2nd best public university's favorite element?

Berkelium!

Why did I laugh so hard at this??

[LexyDenaburg_3A]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

[Madison Muggeo 3H]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
~
~
One Molar solution.

[Claudia_Danysh_2B]

Why can you never trust an atom?

Because they make up everything!

[Michelle Nguyen 3F]

"Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?"
"How did it go?"
"It went OK2!"

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

Chemistry is Fluorine Uranium Nitrogen.

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

OMG! Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a couple?

[Joanne Yuh 3I]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees.

[Sachi Sengupta 2C]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

[America Alvarado]

Omg these are actually funny

[Akriti Ratti 1H]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.

[Daria Obukhova 2B]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces?

Guacamole

[Sukhkiran Kaur 3I]

Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

[Sukhkiran Kaur 3I]

What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Sukhkiran Kaur 3I]

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

[Madisen Brown -1C]

I ain't never seen two identical fermion particles in the same quantum state. It's always one of them gotta have different quantum numbers.

[Charisma Arreola 2F]

I try to tell chemistry jokes....


But there is no reaction.

[Charisma Arreola 2F]

Some more chemistry jokes?


All the good ones argon.

[Mari Williams 1K]

Why did the cation try to cheer up the anion?
Because they're PAWsitive thinkers!

[vbarian27]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[vbarian27]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK

[vbarian27]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[vbarian27]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[vbarian27]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Yijia_Yang_3A]

dont trust atoms because they make up everything!

[Micaela Estavillo]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Micaela Estavillo]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Logan Wiedemann 3J]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"

[Melanie Lin 3E]

So I told Sodium and Neon a super funny joke. Guess what they said:
.
.
.
Na: That was SODIUM funny!
Ne: I slapped my NEON that one.

[Sophia Stewart 3F]

Why wouldn't the n=1 electron go out with the n=2 electron?

He just wasn't on her level.

[Orla Lynagh-Shannon 1F]

There are so many jokes here already. Seems like all the good ones Argon.

[Darren1j]

What kind of dogs does Dr.Lavelle have? I'm going to take a wild guess and say laboratory retrievers

[Darren1j]

Helium dimer seems like the funniest of molecules because he2 would be like He He.

[Hasan Mirza 3F]

How are Copper and Zinc related?

They're CuZn's

[Brandon Carris]

if I were a rapper id be
MC DELTA T!!!!!!!!

[Brandon Carris]

Nuclear Power can singlehandedly solve the world's energy crisis
However, big oil keeps it out of the spotlight because they don't care about us or the world.
Please.... if we can do more research and further nuclear technology, we can create millions of new jobs and save our planet.

[Scot Widjaja Dis 1J]

Q: 16 sodiums walk into a room. Who's next?

A: Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Batmaaan

[Samin Kabir]

Not the best thing in the world but here ya go
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[AlyssaMaynard1C]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK!

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

What's the dullest element?

Bohrium!

[alebenavides]

we'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon

[Bethany Yang 2E]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Jason Knight - 1F]

Anyone know any jokes about Sodium? Na

[NayeliPlayas_1L]

What did the other elements say to Hydrogen?

What a loner!

[Ruochen Yang 3B]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[Ruochen Yang 3B]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Ruochen Yang 3B]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

This one is really fun.

[Becca Nelson 3F]

I post pretty corny chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon!

[Isabel_Eslabon_2G]

Not sure if this is chem-related but oh well.

Before heading out to the store, my sister told me "Hey, we're out of salt" to which I replied "0mg".

[Norah Gidanian 3D]

Just came across this really funny chemistry joke!
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
Thought I would share it

[705512695]

I once heard Old chemists never die....They just stop reacting!

[705512695]

Hi I wanted to post some jokes onto the chemistry community but... but all the good ones argon.

[Kevin Pilcher 3J]

Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

[Khushi_Gupta_1A]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!

[Shana Patel 1C]

Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too!"
The second man dies.