Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:43 am

I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:44 am

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:44 am

We'd give you some more chemistry jokes, but all the good ones argon.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am

Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:45 am

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO.

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:46 am

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:46 am

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

pavel1E · Postby **pavel1E** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:47 am

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

(that didn't come out well ): )

105289321 · Postby **105289321** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 9:15 pm

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Alexis 3F · Postby **Alexis 3F** » Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:02 pm

Last night oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

Alexis 3F · Postby **Alexis 3F** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 9:58 am

What kinds of dogs do chemists have??

Laboratory Retrievers

205154661_Dis2J · Postby **205154661_Dis2J** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 3:17 pm

When you tell a chemistry joke and there are no reactions :(

205154661_Dis2J · Postby **205154661_Dis2J** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 3:38 pm

I am definitely "(dien)" after that chemistry final!!!!

Akshay Chellappa 1H · Postby **Akshay Chellappa 1H** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:01 pm

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Akshay Chellappa 1H · Postby **Akshay Chellappa 1H** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Akshay Chellappa 1H · Postby **Akshay Chellappa 1H** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Akshay Chellappa 1H · Postby **Akshay Chellappa 1H** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:02 pm

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Akshay Chellappa 1H · Postby **Akshay Chellappa 1H** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 5:03 pm

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:05 pm

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:06 pm

zfinn · Postby **zfinn** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 10:14 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

Alan Cornejo 1a · Postby **Alan Cornejo 1a** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:05 pm

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

ShreyaKannan1B · Postby **ShreyaKannan1B** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:40 pm

I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

ShreyaKannan1B · Postby **ShreyaKannan1B** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:41 pm

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

ShreyaKannan1B · Postby **ShreyaKannan1B** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:41 pm

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”

Naneeta Desar 1K · Postby **Naneeta Desar 1K** » Sun Dec 08, 2019 11:55 pm

What do you call a funny heme complex?

A meme complex :D

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:33 pm

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:34 pm

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:17 pm

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Jared Khoo 1G · Postby **Jared Khoo 1G** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 11:55 am

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0 K now.

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:21 pm

Q: What is the best part about learning about equilibrium?

A: Nothing changes!

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 6:29 pm

No Time to Die

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 7:04 pm

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:08 pm

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask how to pronounce the word “unionized”.

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:09 pm

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Sun Jan 12, 2020 10:09 pm

Why do chemists call helium, barium and curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:59 am

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Keya Jonnalagadda 1A · Postby **Keya Jonnalagadda 1A** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:25 pm

Get ready to laugh:

Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
A: Keep telling them till you get a reaction!

Q: Want to hear a joke about Sodium, Bromine, and Oxygen?
A: NaBrO

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:20 pm

Elf 1: Why does Santa sound like -
Santa: He He He *squeaky voice af*
Elf 2: Oh, he's ingested some helium

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:26 pm

Maya Pakulski 1D · Postby **Maya Pakulski 1D** » Wed Jan 15, 2020 8:38 pm

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make everything up.

Jared Khoo 1G · Postby **Jared Khoo 1G** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:13 pm

Which element is the coldest?

Brrryllium

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:44 pm

What do you do to dead elements? You barium.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:46 pm

What do tomb robbers do to pyramids? -Radium

kendal mccarthy · Postby **kendal mccarthy** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:51 pm

If Avogadro calls.... tell him to leave his number ;)

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:56 pm

A standup comedian tried writing jokes about the periodic table, but realized he wasn’t quite in his element.

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:57 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0 k?

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:58 pm

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A: A ferrous wheel.

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Sun Jan 19, 2020 11:59 pm

Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

A: To reduce his carbon footprint.

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Mon Jan 20, 2020 4:37 pm

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 6:27 pm

Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 6:28 pm

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Sat Jan 25, 2020 10:19 pm

A good ol' cartoon

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Sat Jan 25, 2020 10:31 pm

Because we all need radioactive decay in our lives

zfinn · Postby **zfinn** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 6:16 pm

you can call me K because i don't change under pressure

Kate Osborne 1H · Postby **Kate Osborne 1H** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 6:17 pm

You're so hot you could change an equilibrium constant

JesseAuLec1Dis1G · Postby **JesseAuLec1Dis1G** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:11 pm

Sb is antimony on the periodic table and how I remember it is Susan B Anthony >:)

JesseAuLec1Dis1G · Postby **JesseAuLec1Dis1G** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:11 pm

This is hard. All the funny chemistry jokes argon >:)

JesseAuLec1Dis1G · Postby **JesseAuLec1Dis1G** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:21 pm

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Amy Xiao 1I · Postby **Amy Xiao 1I** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:27 pm

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Amy Xiao 1I · Postby **Amy Xiao 1I** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 9:32 pm

Who is Gibbs, and why is he giving out free energy?

chimerila · Postby **chimerila** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:22 pm

For all my bilinguals out there:

Is Silicone the same in Spanish?
.
.
.
Si.

chimerila · Postby **chimerila** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:27 pm

Be like a proton and stay positive, folks :)

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:50 pm

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 11:51 pm

Did you hear the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:54 pm

GFolk_1D · Postby **GFolk_1D** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 2:55 pm

TimVintsDis4L · Postby **TimVintsDis4L** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 3:03 pm

What should you do if noone laughs at your Chemistry joke.

Keep telling them until you get a reaction

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 5:15 pm

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating?

OMg!

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 5:15 pm

Did you hear about the guy that was frozen to absolute zero?

I hear he was 0k.

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 9:28 pm

why do white bears dissolve in water?
because they are polar

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:06 pm

Q: Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

A: Because it’s always pushing electrons around!

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:07 pm

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?

A: H2O cubed!

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Tue Jan 28, 2020 2:08 pm

Q: What is HIJKLMNO?

A: H20

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:36 pm

A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:37 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:38 pm

If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:39 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:41 pm

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

Ipsita Srinivas 1K · Postby **Ipsita Srinivas 1K** » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:42 pm

What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.

Naren_Ramesh_4F · Postby **Naren_Ramesh_4F** » Fri Jan 31, 2020 3:41 pm

Why does Water hate the equator?

Because water is a polar molecule.

Jared Khoo 1G · Postby **Jared Khoo 1G** » Fri Jan 31, 2020 10:32 pm

What atoms make up aspirin?
As P Ir In

CalvinTNguyen2D · Postby **CalvinTNguyen2D** » Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:48 pm

Polar bears are unable to swim in water- they dissolve when they jump in.

005162520 · Postby **005162520** » Sun Feb 02, 2020 11:37 pm

I'm diene, but I'll keep triene !

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:52 pm

Why does a pound of hamburger have less energy than a pound of steak?

Because it is in the ground state.

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

305086803 · Postby **305086803** » Mon Feb 03, 2020 5:53 pm

I tried to tell a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Manav Govil 1B · Postby **Manav Govil 1B** » Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:12 pm

Only in the world of chemistry can a Pb & J sandwich kill you. Unless you're allergic. Then you're also dead.

Ryan_K_1K · Postby **Ryan_K_1K** » Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:30 pm

Q: What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A: a POLAR bear!

Ryan_K_1K · Postby **Ryan_K_1K** » Sun Feb 09, 2020 5:31 pm

Q: What did the photon say when it ran into the wall?

A: "Ow that hertz!"

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Feb 09, 2020 10:28 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Jaklin Astvatsatryan · Postby **Jaklin Astvatsatryan** » Sun Feb 09, 2020 10:32 pm

Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base

Joseph Saba · Postby **Joseph Saba** » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:49 pm

https://www.relatably.com/m/img/light-memes/thumb.jpeg
You won't regret seeing this even though its a Chem14A joke

Brian_Ho_2B · Postby **Brian_Ho_2B** » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:58 pm

Carbon tries to befriend his two new roommates Nitrogen and Oxygen.
Unfortunately they didn't bond well together.

nicole-2B · Postby **nicole-2B** » Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:53 pm

Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg

McKenna_4A · Postby **McKenna_4A** » Tue Feb 11, 2020 9:18 pm

An atom of U can be oriented in one state, but in the USA, U can be 4 states at once.

kennedyp · Postby **kennedyp** » Fri Feb 14, 2020 9:21 am

I have developed such a weird love for chemistry jokes, I love this thread lol I'll try to add some every now and then, here's the first one!

Man, I hate when I tell a chemistry joke and I don't get a...REACTION!

This was horrible, I'm so sorry!! :((((

Oduwole 1E · Postby **Oduwole 1E** » Fri Feb 14, 2020 1:20 pm

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?

A: Because they always have a solution!

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