Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists find it easy to work with ammonia?
A: It’s pretty basic.
A: It’s pretty basic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How often does a chemist need coffee?
A: They need caffeine periodically.
A: They need caffeine periodically.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why was the DJ called DJ Enzyme?
A: He was always breaking it down.
A: He was always breaking it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This isn't exactly a joke but I couldn't think of anywhere else to post it. I was just reading Descartes' Third Meditation for my philosophy class and as he mused on why he innately believes that his sensory perceptions resemble the things from which he attributed them in the outside world, he brings up the example of touching something warm, experiencing sensations of heat, and thus concluding that the thing is hot. This made me wonder, should heat be thought of as an intrinsic property of something in the same sense as its texture or color? What he is actually experiencing is heat being transferred from the object to his palm - and although we now know that this doesn't work like an invisible substance ie caloric moving around, the energy difference is what causes the increase in molecular movement that we perceive as temperature, and it can transfer said energy away. So is it wise to think of this as a property of the thing in itself?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what did michael jackson write on his chem test?
Helium Helium
(He He)
Helium Helium
(He He)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you think the rate of people disappearing was, zero order? First order?
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Re: Chemistry Jokes
Alysson Marines 2E wrote:What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution
Haha I laughed in pain because of this while I have an impacted wisdom tooth right now :(
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
keely_bales_1f wrote:How do you laugh in a "chemist's" language?
HeHe
genius!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
IanWheeler3F wrote:What do you think the rate of people disappearing was, zero order? First order?
OMG yes!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joanne Yuh 3I wrote:I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Haha I can relate
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out, I was like O Mg!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees!"
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Getting ready for Chem 14C with an O-chem joke!
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is Kylo Ren's favorite thing to study with relation to Kinetics?
First Order Reactions!
First Order Reactions!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems? Because they always have a solution!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.
A: Separation anxiety.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it’s in the ground state.
A: Because it’s in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did Mr. Watt work in the jewelry store?
He could sort through 1 Joule per second
He could sort through 1 Joule per second
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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- Been upvoted: 3 times
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are great at solving problems since they have all of the solutions
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar.
Before leaving, he asks the bartender, "How much?"
The bartender responds, "No charge."
Before leaving, he asks the bartender, "How much?"
The bartender responds, "No charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of fish is made of only 2 sodium atoms? .............................. 2Na
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why can you never trust an atom?
They make up literally everything.
They make up literally everything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This was a joke I saw on social media that reminded me of our kinetics unit.
"Physical Chemistry: The pitiful attempt at applying y = mx + b to everything in the universe."
"Physical Chemistry: The pitiful attempt at applying y = mx + b to everything in the universe."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe
HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. Help me look for it." The neutron asks, "Are you sure?" The proton replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What should you do if no one laughs at your joke
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction
A: Keep telling them until you get a reaction
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: I tried writing jokes about the periodic table
A: But I realized I wasn't quite in my element
A: But I realized I wasn't quite in my element
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear the joke about coablt, radon and yttrium
A: Nevermind it's to CoRnY
A: Nevermind it's to CoRnY
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4
A: Drinking, Bathing, and lots of other daily activities
A: Drinking, Bathing, and lots of other daily activities
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemist find working with ammonia easy
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
A: He picked it up before it was cool
A: He picked it up before it was cool
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What's a chemist's favorite type of dog?
A: A Laboratory retriever
A: A Laboratory retriever
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is iron man's favorite amusement park ride?
A: The ferrous wheel
A: The ferrous wheel
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the difference between chemistry and physics jokes
A: Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically but physics jokes have more potential
A: Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically but physics jokes have more potential
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemist make very bad DJs (EXCEPT DJ LAVELLE!!!), they take extra care to not drop the base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro’s favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?
A: Oxidants happen.
A: Oxidants happen.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
i fould this joke while on tiktok the other day
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." The other says, "I'll have an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar."OH SNaP!" says the bartender.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that, you can be cooled to -273.15 C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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