Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[MichelleTran 1I]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic, really.

[MichelleTran 1I]

Chemistry is a lot like cooking, only you really shouldn't lick the spoon.

[MichelleTran 1I]

[Emilia z]

I know a guy who cooled himself to -273.15C.
He was 0k.

[Emilia z]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

[Emilia z]

Do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine.

[Julia Lung 1I]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?


2Na

[805169754]

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

[805169754]

Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.

[805169754]

What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”

[805169754]

I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero.
I promise you'll be 0K.

[805169754]

Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, "That's a salt!"

[805169754]

Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine, and oxygen?
NaBrO

[805169754]

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, "I'll have an ‎H2O." The other says, "I'll have an ‎H2O, too." The second chemist died

[805169754]

I would tell another chemistry joke...
...but all the good ones Argon.

[805169754]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

[805169754]

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.

[Gracie Ge 2E]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
keep telling them until you get a reaction.

(ughhhhhhhhhhhh)

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Two atoms are walking down a street.
One of them shouts, "Hey, I lost an electron!"
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

The best thing about learning about equilibrium is that nothing changes.

[Kassidy Tran 1E]

Learning about electrons is exciting, they bring chemistry to a whole new level.

[505095972]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel!

[505095972]

Q: What is the dullest element?
A: Bohrium

[Samantha Silva 1F]

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

[Gracie Ge 2E]

found this online.

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get out of here!"

[Julia Cheng 4C]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
You barium

[Julia Cheng 4C]

Got mole problems?
Call Avogadro at 602-1023!

[Natalie Liu 4I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[Natalie Liu 4I]

What did one ion say to the other?
I’ve got my ion you.

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

...

[Gisselle Sainz 2F]

...

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

(you're welcome)

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

Fe = Iron and Male = Man
Therefore, Female = Ironman

[Edward Suarez 1I]

two chemists walk into a bar
one says i'll have an h2o
the other says i'll have an h2o too

the second chemist dies...

[Edward Suarez 1I]

if avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

[Emilia z]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Emilia z]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Emilia z]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[Tuong Nguyen 2I]

I was gonna tell a chemistry joke, but then I thought "Na... no one would get it."

[Julia Lung 1I]

What's the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?

Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.

[Julia Lung 1I]

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

It's the ground state.

[Julia Lung 1I]

I would tell another chemistry joke
...but all the good ones Argon.

[LaurenJuul_1B]

Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an ‎H2O, too.”
The second chemist dies.

[LaurenJuul_1B]

What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

[905084274]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[905084274]

All the best chemistry jokes...Argon

[905084274]

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

[Priscilla Okaiteye]

I thought this was kind of cute when I saw it...

[Priscilla Okaiteye]

Pick up line joke:

You must be a compound of Barium and Beryllium because you are a
BaBe.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Why do chemistry do well when working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Nikki Bych 1I]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a POLAR bear!!!

[Millicent Navarro 1I]

Lose an electron? Gotta keep ion it.

[vaishali 1D]

Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of problems.

[vaishali 1D]

What element derives from a Norse [censored]?

Thorium.

[vaishali 1D]

What would you call a clown in jail?

Silicon

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

!!

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

lol

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

haha..

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

...

[Ivana Gutierrez 2L]

...

[Kriti Goyal 4K 19]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Kriti Goyal 4K 19]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Kriti Goyal 4K 19]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Shreya_Bharadwaj_1D]

What do you call an acid with attitude?
An a-mean-o Acid

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[Kevin Nguyen 2H]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Eruchi Okpara 2E]

I try to tell Chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction.

[Jonathan Christie 1I]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[varunhariharan]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[varunhariharan]

I am trying to think of more chemistry jokes by they all argon...

[Celio_G_Dis2C]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Celio_G_Dis2C]

: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Celio_G_Dis2C]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[MichelleTran 1I]

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party! Some drop acid, some drop the bass.

[MichelleTran 1I]

[MichelleTran 1I]

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

Lady Ga^2

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

.

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

we love sodium

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

(this was accidental im sorry)

[Sydney Takeda 2I]

whoops