Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

Why are chemists great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions.

[Madison_Moore_1I]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0 K now.

[kgiesch1N]

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

[Megan Yabumoto 3K]

Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be??

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

I appreciate everyone finding the variety of this chemistry cat's jokes

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

hey girl,
are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you are Cu-Te !!

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?

Seawater! (cue pity laugh)

[isabelle ruedisueli 1j]

What's a lion's favorite element?
Roar-on!

[Aditya Mamtora 2C]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Aditya Mamtora 2C]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Aditya Mamtora 2C]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Balint Nagy 3C]

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
-A CaNiNe

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Why are chemists never able to prank their friends?

A: Because they lack the element of surprise.

[Joshua Song 2M]

How do you know a man is in love?
His internal energy goes up - he works harder, gets hot & sweaty.

[StevenBieneman_3K]

If I were an acid, I'd be a-mean-oh-acid.

[alvitaxiao]

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

[Catherine_L_1C]

First law of thermodynamics? Don't talk about thermodynamics.

[Asha_Isse_1N]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

[AndyL3I]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

[Calvin Huang 3D]

I'm out of chemistry jokes guy.

Maybe I should ZINC of a new one.

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

[JoAnna Yortiss 2G]

I would make a "free energy" joke

...but nobody Gibbs a dang.

[Toby Lin 1J]

[arsalzaheer2L]

What's the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

:)

[Rory_Grant_3E]

No room for error.

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Corny

[Anisha Patel 1G]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[shreya_mantri_3I]

man, these chemistry jokes are really making me 'sulfur'

[Philline_Tumbaga_1F]

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

If you ever get cold just stand in a corner, it's always 90 degrees

[Deanna_Nguyen_3L]

Here are some chem puns!

Where are all the dinosaurs?
They Argon!

What do you do to dead elements?
You Barium!

What is Santa's favorite element?

Ho Ho Ho (Holmium)

[Imani Johnson 1H]

Wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Some chemistry puns!

1) What do you do with a sick chemist?
-If you can't helium, and can't curium, then you might as well barium.

2) I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction!

3) All the good periodic table jokes argon?
I dont zinc so!

[Jason Duong 1D]

I dont trust atoms...I heard they make up everything.

[gingy 1K]

how to get you a south campus major

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

[Claire_Zhou_1A]

avengers unite

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q:
Why do white bears dissolve in water?
A:
Because they're polar!

[Hyun Young Lee 2H]

Chem joke in time for Valentine.


Q: Are you a compound of barium and beryllium?
A: Cause you are a total BaBe.

Use it for someone special!

[Erick_Hernandez_3L]

http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.28 ... MQ%3D%3D.2

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

Superhero chemistry joke

[regina_ho_3A]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/73 ... ce6bd1.jpg

[Vagarshak 2C]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Serena Patel 2H]

Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?

I Am

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

"I blame entropy."

[Simran Brar 1J]

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[Cinthia_Ramirez_3B]

Pick up line

[Frank_Smith_3L]

You know what, every time I think of a heavy element, I think of U! hahahahhahahhahahha

[Kimberly_Hernandez_3L]

Why do chemist learn about ammonia first?
Its pretty basic stuff.

[rielapopp3O]

What kind of pets do chemists have?

Labs

[204781248]

"what if i told you......"

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

Chemist A: What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Chemist B: A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

[ChiragThadaniDis2M]

What's the charge of 'cat'ions?

They are 'paw'sitive.

[Aileen Nguyen 3N]

alcohol is not a problem it's a solution

[Michelle_Ahn_2N]

Mum, you can't fight the 2nd law of thermodynamics
All things, which includes bedrooms, move from a state of order to disorder.


http://image.wikifoundry.com/image/3/f1 ... /GW644H493

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

Check out this "Ferrous" Wheel...

[204863791]

What happens to Nitrogen when the sun sets?
It becomes daytrogen and goes to bed. Good nitrogen, sleep tightrogen, don't let the bed bugs bitrogen.

[Chelsey_Schaum1H]

Q: What was the charge when NaCl got arrested?
A: A salt

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

ORIGINAL JOKE OVER HERE

What is the first element on Donald Trump's periodic table ?

Did you guess Hydrogen.
HAHAH those were old facts, the alternative fact is, "IT'S AMERICIUM FIRST!!!!"

[Katie_Ho_1M]

What does one thermodynamic state function give?

It Gibbs free energy.

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[lorrainerowe_1K]

[Zoe Robertson 2H]

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K
:)

[Caresse_Zhong_2K]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[JulieLy_3C]

Why do hamburgers have less energy than steak?
They're in the ground state.

[EmilyLeibovitch2E]

[Annie_Amundson_1L]

Q: What is Lady GaGa's real last name?

A: Gallium-Gallium

[Carolyn Huh 1K]

Don't ever trust an atom; they make up everything.

[KoSiOg]

Two friends walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies.
Be Careful what you ask for kids

[Helen 3C]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[julia lai 3A]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

[Madison Juul 1D]

what do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery!

[Yen Vuong 2I]

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

Two chemists went to bar. The first said "I'll have an H2O". The second one then said "I'll have an H2O too". He died.

[Andy Chen 3L]

I'm out of chemistry jokes...I should zinc of a new one.

[Kathrin Magdalani 3J]

Exothermic reactions?
I studied them before they were cool.

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

[wesley hardin]

Here's a funny one:
I dont trust atoms...I heard they make up everything. :)

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you sure are CuTe ;)

[harseerat_jajj_3G]

first rule of thermo

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[anatorres1B]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

[Gabriela_2E]

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

:)

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

What is the chemical formula for sugar cubes?
(C12H22O11)^3

[rebecca_handler_1B]

[Neha Nibber 3H]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No I'm traveling light."

[Kevin Pham 2G]

[Thomas_Elizabeth_3A]

What was the pirate chemist film rated?

Arrrrrrrgon

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

I mean I guess

[Gonzalez_Liliana_1K]

perfect couple: one person has cold hands, the other has warm hands, together, they maintain the ideal temperature for hand holding

relationship goals: thermodynamic equilibrium