Page 2 of 83

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 7:18 pm
by Joshua Wiedner
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 9:48 pm
by Tasnim Sazzad 4B
What do you do with the sick chemist?

If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:46 pm
by Henry2E
Two atoms are in a bar.
One says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
To which the other replies, "I'm positive."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 10:50 pm
by JasmineChavez 1E
Daniela Contreras 3E wrote:What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2



Ha ha ha ha ha good one.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:24 pm
by GrantSugimura_1B
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 12:11 pm
by katielee1K
I have many chemistry jokes....I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 4:54 pm
by Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A
I had to post this (*_*) haha

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:20 pm
by Madison Holland 1D
chemistry is funny

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 3:11 pm
by Alexander Vong 3I
Learning about equilibrium is easy...

...because nothing changes

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:00 pm
by CenCen
here's another for you all. :)

Re: Chemistry Jokes- Electrochemistry

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:17 pm
by Kelly Sun 3E
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:55 pm
by Johnchou1A
What is the charge of cations?

pawsitive

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 6:17 pm
by JasmineChavez 1E
I am A female
Fe= Iron
Male=Man

therefore... I am Iron Man

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:55 pm
by Cecilia Tsai 3C
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2016 8:25 pm
by Cole Malkoff 3E
What was the Titanic's hull made of?

Zinc.

Zinc about it.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 2:23 pm
by Lisa Lim 3G
A: "I blew up my chemistry experiment."
B: "That's ok, oxidants happen."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 2:46 pm
by BeejenPatel_1B
Copper and Gold are at a party. Copper sees Gold and says, "Au, you weren't invited, get out!" Gold replies, "Alright fine, Cu later."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 3:26 pm
by Brooke VanSickle 1J
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?


He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 6:42 pm
by 904418641
I told a chemistry joke once...there was no reaction.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 7:48 pm
by Mahir Pepic 3F
"Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book on Helium?"

-"He couldn't put it down!"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 7:56 pm
by Bryce Bentley 1l
Thermodynamic pickline:
You must have a low heat capacity, because it doesn't take much joules (jewels) to make you hot!!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:02 pm
by Bryce Bentley 1l
How much free energy does the average phone have when its battery is full?

None! Electricity doesn't pay for itself!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:10 pm
by Bryce Bentley 1l
I hope the electrochemistry portion of the midterm won't Reduce my mood!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:58 pm
by Chem_Mod
Bryce Bentley 1l wrote:I hope the electrochemistry portion of the midterm won't Reduce my mood!


:-) I'll try to avoid that!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 9:00 pm
by Chem_Mod
WoW. So many good jokes. I sat down to do some work and I've had 15 mins of laughs!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 9:25 pm
by GiselleMartinez_1B
Although this one did get a reaction...

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:04 pm
by 904638389
Sodium sodium sodium sodium
sodium sodium sodium sodium
BATMAN!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:44 pm
by Roberto Vasquez 2C
Red-Ox.jpg
Red-Ox

Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:04 am
by ssendhil
People asked me if I rushed this quarter but the only thing I rushed was that last quiz.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 11:41 am
by Bryce Bentley 1l
A man accidentally dropped his tooth in a solution of HCl. The man was so shocked that it dissolved so quickly that he just had to find the Molar concentration!!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:43 pm
by GrantSugimura_1B
I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:57 pm
by Bryce Bentley 1l
GrantSugimura_1B wrote:I have a ton of chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.


As long as the reaction is spontaneous you are good! No energy will be needed to make people laugh!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 1:07 pm
by Chi-Yun 1B
I told a joke about noble gases.
There was no reaction!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 2:18 pm
by aristotelis1H
I thought this was a cute image :) Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 3:49 pm
by WeiyangXiong1B
Are you made from iodine and uranium?
All I can see is U and I.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 3:53 pm
by WeiyangXiong1B
What is iron's favorite ride at the amusement park?
Ferrous wheel

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:07 pm
by Wendy_Xie
https://www.facebook.com/IFeakingLoveScience/videos/1208151935872482/
An interesting video about how elements react with each other

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:19 pm
by kaushikdr
What do you call it when a king farts?

A noble gas

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 5:10 pm
by CalebLew1C
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:02 am
by Jade Nguyen 1E
Neutrons want to pay tab, bartender says "for you, no charge"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:15 am
by Jade Nguyen 1E
Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 11:38 am
by Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A
Hehe

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 4:38 pm
by Rachel Tat 3E
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 8:39 am
by haleyf 2I
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 12:50 pm
by Kyilah Terry
Q:Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
A: NO..

These jokes are sodium funny.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 10:52 pm
by cgrabar_2D
Definite reference to the upcoming midterm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 11:03 pm
by Heerali Patel 3A
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 12:01 am
by 004569922
What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 10:00 am
by Miah Khan 3L
Who doesn't love a good chem pun? Apparently a lot of people.

I mean, I am always trying to cell a good electrochem joke, and it is SHOCKING that some people do not appreciate the joke. They reVOLT against electrochemistry puns, and because of that they burn that SALT BRIDGE with me.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 10:03 am
by Miah Khan 3L
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 12:11 pm
by Rachel Colbath 2G
The name's Bond
... Ionic Bond

"taken, not shared"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 1:32 pm
by Kayla T 1J
What is Kylo Ren's favorite type of reaction?

A First Order reaction.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:16 pm
by Rachel Hunsucker 3L
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?



A: Barium

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 2:31 am
by Vishal Dobaria 4G
What did the angry electron say when it was repelled?

Let me atom!!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 9:09 pm
by Susanna
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

SWAG.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 11:50 am
by Kyilah Terry
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 6:10 pm
by adrianm
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 7:26 pm
by Rodrigo Aranda
What did one titration say to the other?

-Lets meet at the half point!

(Not original content)

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 7:31 pm
by Cesar Martinez 2A
A bunch of atoms were protesting. A guy walks up and asks them "Are you guys unionized?"

What is avocado's number?
The amount of particles in one guacamole.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 11:22 pm
by Karina Keus 3L
I'd post a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2016 11:39 pm
by Noah Lopez 2L
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says, "for you, no charge".

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:01 am
by Daniela Contreras 3E
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:02 am
by Daniela Contreras 3E
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:03 am
by Daniela Contreras 3E
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:08 am
by Nataliya Karashchuk
If Avogadro calls tell him to leave his number

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:27 am
by Brock Burnett 3H
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:28 am
by Brock Burnett 3H
What is the first rule of thermodynamics? You don't talk about thermodynamics.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:48 am
by Cole Malkoff 3E
OMg! Did you hear that about Oxygen and Magnesium's relationship?

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:49 pm
by CalebLew1C
Valentine's Day is right around the corner...

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 1:34 am
by Joanne Reyes 1L
Karina Keus 3L wrote:I'd post a funny chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

Nah, I got one. Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't react.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 10:12 am
by GrantSugimura_1B
The names Bond....Ionic Bond
Taken, not shared.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:35 pm
by Chi-Yun 1B
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:40 pm
by Chi-Yun 1B
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 5:12 pm
by 404483361
Parents ask me why I don't clean my room.
I tell them "In an isolated system, entropy can only increase."

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:07 pm
by Dahriel Aron 3A
I hope everyone is feeling solid (with low entropy) for the midterm tomorrow!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:23 pm
by Mariah Tumbaga 1e
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:58 pm
by GrantSugimura_1B
Joke: I'm ready for the midterm today.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:30 pm
by marinah
What did the chemistry student say when they asked her why she was crying?

"just too much pressure atm"

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2016 9:45 pm
by katielee1K
what did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
.
.
.
HeHe

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 12:57 am
by Feng Ming Li 2K
Since Valentine's day is coming up, this would be appropriate to ask someone you have been wanting to talk to! Good luck~

Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 4:18 pm
by Christian Wooten 3A
This one is a comic strip, so its long but its funny lol

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 6:40 pm
by Michelle Dela Rosa 1D
Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 6.35.14 PM.png

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2016 6:15 pm
by Chem_Mod
Coupling Constant.jpg
Coupling Constant.jpg (53.94 KiB) Viewed 104447 times


I meant to show these at the end of today’s class.

Happy Valentine!


DIENE Valentine.jpg
DIENE Valentine.jpg (54.8 KiB) Viewed 104447 times

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 8:38 am
by Chi-Yun 1B
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 12:11 pm
by Vishal Dobaria 4G
The last time I told a good chemistry joke, there was no reaction

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 4:51 pm
by Cesar Martinez 2A
How can photons be Catholic if they don't even have mass?

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2016 8:38 pm
by Ilana Golub 1A
In honor of Valentine's day coming up....
Here are some chemistry pick up lines!

http://chemistry.about.com/od/valentinesdaychemistry/a/Chemistry-Pick-Up-Lines.htm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 3:11 pm
by Karina Keus 3L
Image

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:33 pm
by Amir Teixeira 1L
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. Another man says "I'll have H2O ,too." The second man dies.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:31 pm
by GiselleMartinez_1B
You have got to love The Big Bang Theory !

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:37 pm
by Jason Ching
Enjoy!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:40 pm
by Jason Ching
Appropriate for Valentine's Day.

Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 11:25 pm
by Brock Burnett 3H
In honor of Valentines Day:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
You melt my heart
like Ba(OH)2

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2016 11:28 pm
by Bogdan-Andrei Bagdasar 1A
Hmm

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 11:25 am
by Tal Boussi 2D
write ok as 0K (0 kelvin), to show you are really chill!!!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 2:48 pm
by Mariah Tumbaga 1e
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:57 pm
by CenCen
hehe...

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 11:25 pm
by Rachel Risoleo 3G
No one has posted on this feed in a while because all the good Chem jokes Argon ;)

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 am
by JasmineChavez 1E
Once I told a chemistry joke... there was no reaction

boy I really slapped my Neon that one!

Re: Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 10:09 am
by GrantSugimura_1B
Once I told a chemistry joke

There was no reaction