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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:10 pm
by JulieLy_3C
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:22 pm
by Annah Khan 1B
A chemistry joke:

I don't trust atoms...they make up everything...

Haha!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:41 pm
by Grace_McAuley_1E
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:53 pm
by Abigail_Low_1A
A photon checks into a hotel, the front desk asks him, "do you need any help with your luggage?"

He said, "No thanks! I'm traveling light!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:14 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Are you made of curium and tellurium?
because you're CuTe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:16 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
haha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:17 pm
by Eli Pazol 2F
what happened to the man who ws stopped for having sodium chloride and and a nine-volt in his car?

he was arrested for a salt and battery!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:20 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:23 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What is the chemical formula for coffee?

CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:26 pm
by Stefanie Shidoosh 4E
What is a CATion?

An ion with a paws-itive charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:35 pm
by Timothy Yu 2M
Why did Superman feel sad every time he saw the numbers "3" and "6"?

Because it was Krypton blown apart!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:41 pm
by Courteney Hedicke 3J
I would post another chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.

I hearded oxygen and magnesium were going out I was like OMg.

I think I lost an electron. In fact I'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:00 am
by AJ Garalza 2E
I think I lost an electron. In fact, I'm positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:49 am
by ginnyyao1L
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:42 am
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Jokes of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 10:09 am
by Dan_Jin_1K
How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, if you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:54 pm
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:42 pm
by Jessica Huang 1M
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:58 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver? Ask them to pronounce "unionised"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:00 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
What is a Chemist's Favorite Plant?

Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:17 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
When you get back your chem quiz
-NACLNACLNACLNACLNACL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:19 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
Do you have 67 protons?
Cause you a Ho

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:25 pm
by Kendall_Chaffin_3C
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.


A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:35 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, bartender says, "for you, no charge!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:37 pm
by Jake_Benna_3J
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:51 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
In honor of what we've been learning, and a good comeback for some:

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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:03 pm
by Rishi_Kayathi_1E
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atom in the middle?

A: A ferrous wheel!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:32 pm
by Deen Tar
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:19 pm
by Nick_Ida 1D
What's 007's Eskimo cousin's name?
Polar Bond :D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:22 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Are you a charged atom ?
Because I have my ion you :p

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:43 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:50 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Why can I relate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:11 pm
by Madeline Guajardo 3J
Let's hope this doesn't happen to me this quarter (:

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:51 pm
by HarshiniMuthukumar3N
“Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:55 pm
by HarshiniMuthukumar3N
What Do You Get When You Cut An Avocado Into 6X10^23 Pieces?

Guacamole!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:06 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:06 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:29 pm
by Nikki Nguyen 2N
Q: What did you do with Element 43 last night?
A: None of your Bismuth

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:59 pm
by Sascha_Clark_4I
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:20 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
I'm sorry this one is lame

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 10:06 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
Want to hear a joke about element 116?
Uuh...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 10:08 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
Good pickup line:
You're so hot you denature my proteins.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 10:22 pm
by veeksha25
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 12:13 am
by Natalie Hunt 1E
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 12:16 am
by Niveda_Tennety_1H
Equilibrium constant. Que?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 1:32 am
by AngelaWang_1F
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Acids and Bases joke

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:11 am
by Ryan Cerny 3I
Before this class I always presumed that determining the relative strength of acids and bases would be challenging. Turns out learning about NaOH, for example, is pretty basic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 12:08 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 12:15 pm
by Lauren Wong 3K
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 1:43 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 2:28 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 2:57 pm
by 904799315
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 3:34 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
I have many chem jokes,
I'm just scared I won't get a good reaction :/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:20 pm
by Pratyush Kandimalla 2O
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies "For you, No Charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 5:38 pm
by Sascha_Clark_4I
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 8:39 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
What is the chemical formula for candy?
Carbon - Holmium - Cobalt - Lanthanum - Tellurium or CHoCaLaTe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:27 pm
by KimberlySalinas_2A
Did you hear about the man that got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:30 pm
by usernamesarehard
What did the carbocation say when it gained 2 electrons?

I'm anion now!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 11:41 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
Did you know that you can cool down to -273.15 degrees C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 11:45 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame"
The sodium pined.
"I melt whenever I see you."
The Bunsen burner replied,
"It's just a phase you're going through."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:27 am
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:08 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
Q: What should you do with old chemistry jokes?






A: Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:34 am
by DanielaWong_2G
Loved this one

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:44 am
by Rob_Carter_1L
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:08 am
by Toby Lin 1J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 10:46 am
by Jasleen Kaur 1J
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:15 am
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know there'd be no reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:47 am
by Christopher Reed 1H
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?



A: Polar Bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:33 pm
by Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K
What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:22 pm
by K Phelan 3D
The antiaircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory. He smiled with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. "Congratulations, you've just neutralized a dangerous base!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:38 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
Got mole problems? Call Avogrado at 602-1024

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 7:19 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:30 pm
by veeksha25
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fell in water, which one would dissolve faster?
The one from Alaska, it's polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:45 pm
by 904827101
How I feel about Chem when I don't understand anything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 10:49 am
by Samantha_Leong_3K
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:04 pm
by Scott_Anderson_3J
Where's berkelium on the periodic table?

It's not on there; it's out protesting.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 1:50 pm
by Lindsey Lill
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 2:12 pm
by alvitaxiao
Why are chemists great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 3:24 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
getting closer to the final exams, always remember to be like a proton and stay positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:12 pm
by Maverick Tan 1F
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:44 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
Two transition metals were settling their bar tab and came up short. The bartender said, "You need another nickel!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 8:21 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 9:03 pm
by 004599434
as we're going into finals....

think like a proton and stay positive :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 9:49 pm
by TramHo2G
Where does one put the dirty dishes after thanksgiving dinner?
In the zinc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 10:12 pm
by Swati_Sharma_2D
Screen Shot 2016-11-24 at 10.09.05 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:32 am
by Alexandria_Leaf_2F
kvOuQ9B.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:35 am
by Alexandria_Leaf_2F
4a1c6af6080452e71c69b76fedd84edf.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 1:45 am
by Tania_Torres_3O
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:57 am
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:37 am
by Franklin Kong 3D
Optimist: The glass is half-full.
Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
Chemist: The glass contains H2O and other compounds.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 11:01 am
by sheilaho_1E
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:07 pm
by Christian Gequillo 1D
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:19 pm
by Aashi_Patel_3B
Some people find chemistry jokes funny...I find them prephosphorous!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:32 pm
by marinarosebrock
if you think that all chemistry jokes argon....
chem joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:41 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 12:41 pm
by Jennifer Ngo 1M
I told a joke about helium but no one reacted..

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 2:12 pm
by Nerissa_Low_2F
images.png
images.png (2.49 KiB) Viewed 9983 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:03 pm
by Amir Patel 1G
Good luck with finals, everyone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:17 pm
by Colin Hayashi 1K
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:18 pm
by Colin Hayashi 1K
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon