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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 3:42 pm
by Megan_McElfish_3D
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 4:41 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Question: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

Answer: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:41 pm
by Hirmand_Sarafian_2N
"Last night, a hypnotist convinced me that I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82... I am easily lead."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:52 pm
by Alexandra Watts 3L
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:56 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
*Pick up line*: Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:10 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 9:14 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:06 pm
by 904605949
Pretty true.
Clever_Chemistry_Joke_funny_meme.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:08 pm
by 804780590
Have you heard the one about the sick chemist?
If you can't Helium and you can't Curium, you'll probably have to Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 11:41 pm
by Dan_Jin_1K
What did Carbon San Diego, Barium Bonds, and Selenium Gomez go for Thanksgiving?

Silicon Valley!

Re:Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:17 am
by Ashley Van Belle 2B
Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, Arsenic and Sulfur?
Because you’ve got a NiCe [censored]!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:17 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:20 pm
by Abigail Foster 1K
HCOONa Matata

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:21 pm
by Abigail Foster 1K
I'm a female.
Fe=Iron
Male=Man
Therefore, I am Iron Man.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:35 pm
by Molika Soben_3J
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:37 pm
by Minh_Le_3I
what-did-the-bartender-say-when-oxygen-hydrogen-sulfer-sodium-and-phosphorous-walked-into-his-bar.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:45 pm
by giareyes_2B
What Is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 4:08 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 4:37 pm
by Josh_Zhong_1F
A proton, a neutron, and helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with 3 beers and asks the proton, “Are you sure you’re over 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” So the bartender gives him the first beer.
He gives the second beer to the neutron and says, “For you, no charge.”
He throws the third beer in helium’s face. Helium doesn’t react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 5:13 pm
by Katelyn Li 2J
With all the stress about finals coming up, I think it's important that we all think like a proton and stay positive! :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 5:22 pm
by Ricardo Munoz 3K
What did the chemist say when he found a third isotope of helium?
"He He He."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:09 pm
by Raj Susarla 3I
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:08 pm
by Rachel Caprini 1E
“Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!”
Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied:
“It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:09 pm
by Rachel Caprini 1E
When Life Gives You C6H8O7

Make H2O + C12 H22 O11 + C6 H8 O7

-Beyonce

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:57 pm
by david_li3H
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Bathing, drinking, swimming, washing...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:58 pm
by Josh Clark 1J
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak? It's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 9:41 pm
by Abigail_Low_1A
A hydrogen atom and a neutron are walking down the street.
The hydrogen says, "Wait, I dropped an electron, help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The hydrogen replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 9:55 pm
by Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL
Guy: "Hey Girl, are you made of Copper and Tellurium?....Because you are CuTe :)"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:11 pm
by Elon_Glouberman_4J
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:28 pm
by Ashley Curtis 2O
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:37 pm
by paulapedrani
So finals week is coming up... make sure you all get your CoFe2 in the morning!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:41 pm
by F Rios 3E
I haven't had much sleep this week, I think I need some sodium and phosphorus.


(NaP)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:41 pm
by rachel_john
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydron?

A: They bonded the minute they met!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:05 pm
by 904827101
CONSENT IS KEY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:09 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
I would never try to poison you. Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich. XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2016 11:57 pm
by Alexandra_Cooper_4H
Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite? - NaBro

Chemists are bad at telling jokes... They lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:52 am
by Timothy Yu 2M
I know I'm not doing well in the class but I'm trying to think like a proton and stay POSITIVE

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:41 am
by Breanna Buhay 2H
I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones (Ar)gon

ba dum tsss

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:07 am
by Alex_Wagas_3K
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:25 am
by Taylor_Yamane_2L
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 2:24 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
Since finals are right around the corner, here is something that will hopefully make you all smile and remember to be optimistic in this time of immense stress and self-doubt. Hope this helps!

Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:17 pm
by NicholasKillmeier3K
attachment

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:19 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What Is The Show Cesium And Iodine Love Watching Together?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:41 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
told a chemistry joke
but my friends don't know the periodic table

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:42 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:28 pm
by Katie_Ho_1M
Chemistry is definitely not Bohr-ing.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:30 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:31 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What's a chemist's favorite plant?
A: A stoichiome-tree.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:33 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What did the cow say to Molybdenum and Oxygen?
A: MoO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:34 pm
by Molly_McMillen_3J
Q: What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
A: CsI

Q: What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
A: Golf - because he always got a mole-in-one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:54 pm
by Mahta Marefat 1I
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:14 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
:p

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:18 pm
by Megan Yabumoto 3K
What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They go from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:06 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
What is "HIJKLMNO"?


H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:10 pm
by Kevin Le 1L
How did the chemist get in prison?
He was charged with a salt and battery hahahahhahah

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:28 pm
by Novelpreet_Boparai1N
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:04 pm
by Abbas_Hakim_1B
Fun little ride

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:16 pm
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
74e5b0a036f887fe3c02334cc54c483b.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:30 pm
by Ariana Murillo 2O
Same LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:31 pm
by Jiaruo Wang 1K
The name's Bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:33 pm
by Austin_Saephan_1B
What did the chemist say when he discovered two Helium ions?

HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:41 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of problems.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:53 pm
by Navi Sidhu 1F
An atom loses an electron.

It says, "Man, I really have to keep a better ion them!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:57 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I think they Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:10 pm
by aprilhamachi3B
Do you have any jokes about sodium?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:15 pm
by Deen Tar
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:36 pm
by JulieLy_3C
How much extra do chemists have to pay for avocados?
$6.02

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:47 pm
by Bella Martin
I have lots of Chemistry jokes, I'm just not sure all of them will get a good reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:15 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all of his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:16 pm
by AngelicaAquino_2I
Q: If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fell on a river, which one would dissolve faster?
A: The one in Alaska because it's polar

Q: Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
A: It's at ground state

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other.
Atom 1: "Are you alright?"
Atom 2: "No, I lost an electron!"
Atom 1: "Are you sure?"
Atom 2: "Yeah, I'm POSITIVE!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:25 pm
by ginnyyao1L
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:27 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:41 pm
by Courteney Hedicke 3J
Chemists are bad at telling jokes... they lack the the element of surprise.
I blew up a chemistry expiriment. Its okay oxidents happen.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:41 pm
by Carolyn Huh 1K
I would tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:42 pm
by Carolyn Huh 1K
Really slapped my neon that one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:02 am
by hfrazer1B
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:28 am
by Stefanie Shidoosh 4E
I have many good chemistry jokes, but I'm just afraid I won't get a good reaction

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:48 am
by Wang_Pong_Chan_1L
Think like a proton and stay positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:52 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
My teacher threw some sodium chloride at me.


That's a salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:48 am
by Alex Phu 2c
I may be Ne Rd Y, but only periodically ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:51 am
by Lindsey Lill
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:02 am
by 804748473
Love is the air?
WRONG - Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:05 am
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Joke of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:09 am
by sheilaho_1E
What does the leader of of the electron army say when they go to war?

CHAAARRGGGEEE!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:12 am
by michael_buenaventura_1B
What's so special about Oxygen and Potassium?

-Nothing, they're just OK. Potassium and Oxygen is a knockout though!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:18 am
by Dan_Jin_1K
What did two brothers Grant and Michael do for thanksgiving?

Well, first, they woke up at 10am to watch the wonderful Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. After that, their cousins came over, and they hung out, playing xbox, basketball, and watching some NFL football. When the clock stroke 5PM, dinner was ready. They deeply indulged in the food that their parents made, which included turkey, lobster, potatoes, salmon, and tomatoes! After filling themselves up, they had to take a rest, because they didn't want to be negatively charged like an electron. So, they took a quick nap. But, during their nap, the lights turned off in the house, so they had to call the neighborhood Technetium, who came and fixed the lights. After that all happened, they woke up, and they needed some milk and bananas to help wake up, so they said to their mom "Hey mom, can you give us some P and some Ca?"

Their mom brought them milk and bananas because she was a chemistry professor so she knew what P and Ca were.
After that, the narrator of this joke realized that it was going nowhere, so he concluded it with this: What does Beryllium Nitrogen spell? BeN.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:40 am
by Aneri Chouhan
Q: What kind of fish is made of 2 sodium atoms?

A: 2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:05 pm
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:18 pm
by Lucy Nakashima 1E
Sodium doesn't take "Na" for an answer.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:10 pm
by 804780590
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:44 pm
by Jand474
What's the name of the show that Cesium and Iodine love watching!?

CSI

Hahah.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:58 pm
by Franklin Kong 3D
If the Silver Surfer and Ironman teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:29 pm
by Kylee 3f

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:36 pm
by Kylee 3f
What kind of fish is made of 2 sodium atoms?
- 2 Na

since Fe= Iron
then Female= Iron man

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:50 pm
by Amber_Candelaria_1D
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:56 pm
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
how does a formaldehyde compound dress down, it turns into a casual-dehydride

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:11 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:18 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 4:35 pm
by Chris_Rudewicz_3H
My teacher threw some sodium chloride at me.

That's a salt!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 5:04 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.