Page 15 of 76

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 5:39 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 6:39 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 6:59 pm
by David Julfayan 1F
chemistry-joke.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 7:14 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 7:20 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
I would never try to poison you, now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 7:35 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 7:40 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q:What kind of fish is made out of sodium?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:06 pm
by Zaamin Khwaja 3D
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”
The neutron says “Are you sure?”
The proton replies “I’m positive.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:10 pm
by em_farag
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:22 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
What is HIJKLMNO? H2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:23 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H20 cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:13 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:45 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
I wish I could tell you a new chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:46 pm
by Spencer Peterman 3E
What do you get when 6.02x1023 mosquitoes bite you?

Molearia.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:47 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
This will be me after the chem final

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 12:04 am
by Spencer Peterman 3E
How much do neutrons cost?

Nothing, they're free of charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 10:23 am
by Emily Steele 4J
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 10:25 am
by Emily Steele 4J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:02 am
by Scott_Anderson_3J
Why is taking chemistry at UCLA noble?

Chem 14B is full, just like the noble gases.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:10 am
by AllanNicholson2F
A man walks into a bar and says "I'll have some H20".
The man next to him says "I'll have some H20 too", he drinks it and dies

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:02 pm
by 904799315
Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:09 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
What should you say if you borrow something from an iodine atom, an oxygen atom, and a uranium atom?
Thanks - IOU!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:46 pm
by Gianna Zufall 3G
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:47 pm
by Katrina_Galian 1J
Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine.

Are you a charged atom cuz I've got my ion on you.

Chem students do it on the table periodically XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 4:37 pm
by Lisbeth Hernandez3L
What is a chemist's favorite plant?
-Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 5:39 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:43 pm
by Tiffany_Hoang_3C
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:39 pm
by SarahTian3k
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 1:20 am
by Abbeyj3I
Think like a proton and stay positive for finals week, y'all! We can do this!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:36 am
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 11:00 am
by michael_buenaventura_1B
Why did the scientists start dancing after they spilled OH all over the floor?

They dropped the base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 12:39 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
take all your lame chemistry jokes and Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 2:41 pm
by Lauren Wong 3K
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:18 pm
by Brian Shih 1J
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 4:36 pm
by Tyler_Ash_3C
What is Cesium and Iodine's favorite TV show?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:01 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
Think like a proton and stay positive!!
Good luck on finals everyone!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:17 pm
by Angela Farooq 3E
What did the man with the iron will say?
You can't ferrous me to do anything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 5:35 pm
by Chigozie_Nnoruka_1K
Old chemists never die, THEY JUST STOP REACTING.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:08 pm
by Luiza Karakhanyan
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartended says,"Sorry we don't serve noble gases here."
He doesn't react.

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellboy asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies,"No, I'm travelling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:11 pm
by Jata_Kavya_3A
How do you feel after that O chem exam?

I'm DIEN!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:38 pm
by Grace_McAuley_1E
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into his bar?
OHSNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:57 pm
by Molly_McMillen_3J
Organic chemistry is hard. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

what-do-you-call-an-acid-with-an-attitude.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:00 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:38 pm
by Rachel Caprini 1E
What would you call a clown in jail?
Silicon (Silly Con)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:39 pm
by Rachel Caprini 1E
What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
its CoRn Y

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:10 am
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:37 am
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
What do you call a bear that dissolves in water?




A polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:59 am
by Julianne Seog 3K
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:59 am
by Ashley T 2H
Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
A: Fear of utility bills

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:19 am
by Haoqing Li 3E
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
Lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:19 am
by Haoqing Li 3E
-Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:20 am
by Haoqing Li 3E
Q:Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium? How did it go?
A:It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:07 pm
by Greta Tobin 2F
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
Answer: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:49 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:53 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
i think i lost an electron i’d better keep an ion that!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 2:54 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 3:49 pm
by caitlin_oberman_2G
I told my friends a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 3:56 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 4:15 pm
by 004599434
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 5:02 pm
by caitlin_oberman_2G
Two men walk into a restaurant. The first man tells the waiter, "I would like some H2O please," and the second man tells the waiter, "I would like some H20 too." The second man was later found dead.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 6:04 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:02 pm
by Lucy Nakashima 1E
4a8dd87ad655516f240b67a3ffe53738.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:25 pm
by cara_Budzinski_3D
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
WaterMOLEns

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 8:51 pm
by Aashi_Patel_3B
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:00 pm
by ErinMae_Bacasen1L
At the Acid Dating Club, Cl goes up to Bi and asks how acidic was their last relationship. Bi responds "My last relationship was actually basic." Cl is confused and asks, "what?!" Bi laughs and says, "I'm amphoteric." Br comes up and tells Cl to pay up, "I knew it, it was so obvious."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 10:24 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 11:07 pm
by Rachel Caprini 1E
What show do cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 11:26 pm
by usernamesarehard
Do you wanna hear a joke about sodium?

Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2016 11:30 pm
by usernamesarehard
No a Catalyst isn't a list of all the cows you own.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:11 am
by Ann Zhang_1M
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:57 am
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
what was the charge when NaCl was arrested?
A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 9:03 am
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
CHEM Joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:24 am
by Chin_Alyssa_3I
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

...


Cause it's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:26 am
by Tania_Torres_3O
lose an electron?better keep an ION it!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:00 pm
by Molika Soben_3J
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:17 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
Hey girl, are you copper and tellurium?

because you are CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:19 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
PSA: please be careful of any possible interactions with dihydrogen monoxide!!! It is a very dangerous liquid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:20 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
My head HERTZ from the FREQUENCY of all these puns..

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 12:22 pm
by Aya_Elarid_2H
Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
It was a polar bear! Polar bears are white bears. Polar compounds dissolve in water because water is a polar molecule (like dissolves like), while nonpolar compounds do not.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:07 pm
by sheilaho_1E
What is the chemist's favorite part of an EDM song?

When the base drops.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:29 pm
by Ivy Kwok 2I
Q: Why does Nicki Minaj like NaOH?
A: It's a super base.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 2:09 pm
by Pratyush Kandimalla 2O
What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 2:18 pm
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

A: Polar Bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 3:18 pm
by Kristine_Espinosa_2L
How often do I make jokes about chemistry?
Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 6:13 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
Hahaha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 6:51 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 6:51 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 7:53 pm
by heather_carlton_1K
I think I left the Bromine and Boron in the cabinet!
BrB

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:00 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Question: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

Answer: 2NA!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:16 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:31 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:47 pm
by Maverick Tan 1F
What is a chemist's favorite plant?

A. Stoichiome-tree.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:55 pm
by JudyPham_4J
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:56 pm
by JudyPham_4J
What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 9:02 pm
by Divya Kumar 3I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 10:04 pm
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
In honor of our upcoming final

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 10:14 pm
by Abishek 3K
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're so CuTe
My girlfriend dumped me the next day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2016 11:47 pm
by 904605949
Pretty much me with the new topic hehe.

imgres.jpg
imgres.jpg (5.81 KiB) Viewed 6713 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:36 am
by Alyssa_Wieand_2G
A man and a woman are sitting at a bar. The man is wearing a shirt that says "Polar" and the woman is wearing a shirt that says "Non-Polar". The man gets up and suddenly says: "Sorry, I just don't think the chemistry is right".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:33 am
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
Trying to find chem jokes no one has used before...