CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:05 am**

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:12 am**

Chemistry Joke.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:35 am**

Chemistry Joke of the Day

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:15 pm**

According to chemists, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:24 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:16 pm**

What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH20

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:17 pm**

Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:21 pm**

What is a chemist's favorite tree?
Stoichiome-tree

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 2:03 pm**

The silicon put his neon the window ledge, climbed out, and krypton along the wall to meet his friend. Let's hope the guard cesium before they argon!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 2:53 pm**

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:54 pm**

If a king farts...is it a Noble Gas?

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:57 pm**

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:05 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:38 pm**

I complained to my friend about the chem final and her response was: "sorry to hear about your sulfuring."

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:40 pm**

I blew up something in the lab, but hey! Oxidants happen, amirite?

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:28 pm**

Long Live Lavelle

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:29 pm**

What do elements do in a play?
They Actinium!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:38 pm**

good luck everyone on the finals!!!
This will be me for the entire 3 hours

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:56 pm**

You know the song Broccoli by D.R.A.M....."All she wanna do is smoke de Broglie".....I'm sorry

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 8:19 pm**

What do dipoles say in passing? Do you have a moment?

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:26 pm**

Long live Lavelle

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:27 pm**

Harry have mercy, I forgot to post last week and I don't want to lose points :D

I love you Harry <3

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:43 pm**

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:44 pm**

A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents? The student replied: Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:46 pm**

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:47 pm**

What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse? HIO Ag!!!!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:49 pm**

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:51 pm**

Just because it's almost Christmas break

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:04 pm**

Why did the bear drown?
Cause it was polar!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:24 pm**

What did the cation say to the Chem 14A student the night before the final exam?

Stay positive!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:25 pm**

Why did the acid go to the gym?
-To become a buffer solution!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:27 pm**

"In the middle of the party, chick get off me
In the cut I'm rollin' up with De Broglie"

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:29 pm**

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms? 2Na!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:38 pm**

"What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?"
A one molar solution

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:40 pm**

Science

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:46 pm**

Q: what did the scientist say when he found two helium isotopes?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:51 pm**

A cation is an ion with a paws-itive charge.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:52 pm**

Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are riding in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am," Heisenberg replies.

The cop says, "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says, "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, [censored]!" shouts Schrodinger.

Fed up with their antics, the cop tries to arrest them.
Ohm resists.

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:53 pm**

Think like a proton: always positive!

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:53 pm**

Any jokes about sodium? Na

Posted: **Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:57 pm**

All the good chemistry jokes argon.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:19 am**

Why did the nobel gas cry?
Because all his/her friends argon.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:32 am**

So does having some BaNa₂ make more K or have I been lied to

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:57 am**

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:48 am**

What is the name of 007's arctic cousin?

Polar bond

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:39 am**

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:06 am**

just chemistry

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:19 am**

Suffice it to say that we can call a carbon ring with iron atoms in place of the carbons as a Ferrous wheel?

Sorry for the transition metal pun, Cu in class today!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:23 am**

Chemistry Joke of the Day

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:03 pm**

What Is The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

A. CoFe2

LOLOLOLLLL..

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:05 pm**

Hydrogen Argon Americium Beryllium

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:07 pm**

What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:11 pm**

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:18 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:33 pm**

My favorite elements during finals are chromium and yttrium. CrY

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:39 pm**

What kind of fish is made out of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:41 pm**

I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen...

But NaH.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:42 pm**

http://www.chemistryjokes.com/images/lo ... uoride.jpg
I am worried that my final grades will look something like carbontetrafluoride... I hope no one else has this issue!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:47 pm**

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:53 pm**

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:10 pm**

Why can't people trust atoms?
Cause they make up everything!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:12 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:19 pm**

What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:19 pm**

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:41 pm**

Finals

;)

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:58 pm**

Titration is like dubstep, just drop the base. :)

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:35 pm**

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:10 pm**

When you see an attractive person:

"I got my ion you."

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:15 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:16 pm**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:17 pm**

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:17 pm**

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:21 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:23 pm**

Q: What is an Organic chemistry students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:24 pm**

Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:29 pm**

Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next? NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA BATMAAAN!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:32 pm**

Did you here about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:33 pm**

What is the cation afraid of? A dogion

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:36 pm**

Hope everyone has a good (B)Boron (Re)Rhenium (A) (K) Potassium!!!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:01 pm**

What does the leader of the electron army say when they go to war?

CHAAARGE!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:44 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:45 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:45 pm**

Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:46 pm**

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:46 pm**

Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:47 pm**

Q: What did one titration tell the other?
A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:49 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:25 pm**

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:27 pm**

Students fear O-chem so much because they go through alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:59 pm**

As fun as this page is, I only like chem jokes periodically.

Ba dum tss

congrats to everyone for finishing 14A!

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:38 pm**

"I would never try to poison you...
Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich"

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:45 pm**

Posted: **Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:46 pm**

What kind of fish is made of 2 NA atoms?
A two-NA ;)

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:05 am**

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:23 am**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:24 am**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:24 am**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:25 am**

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:47 am**

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:05 am**

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

At least I have a degree.

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