Page 16 of 77

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:05 am
by Minh_Le_3I
what-kind-of-fish-is-made-out-of-2-sodium-atoms.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:12 am
by GevickSafarians_14B
Chemistry Joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:35 am
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Joke of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:15 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
According to chemists, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:24 pm
by Christopher_Reyes_4I
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:16 pm
by JudyPham_4J
What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH20

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:17 pm
by JudyPham_4J
Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 1:21 pm
by KimberlySalinas_2A
What is a chemist's favorite tree?
Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 2:03 pm
by Vanessa_Nguyen_1I
The silicon put his neon the window ledge, climbed out, and krypton along the wall to meet his friend. Let's hope the guard cesium before they argon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 2:53 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:54 pm
by Andy Chen 3L
If a king farts...is it a Noble Gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:57 pm
by Tyler_Honrada_1L
IMG_5677.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:05 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:38 pm
by 404805762
I complained to my friend about the chem final and her response was: "sorry to hear about your sulfuring."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 5:40 pm
by 404805762
I blew up something in the lab, but hey! Oxidants happen, amirite?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:28 pm
by Brian Devlin 3B
Long Live Lavelle

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:29 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
What do elements do in a play?
They Actinium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:38 pm
by 904827101
good luck everyone on the finals!!!
This will be me for the entire 3 hours

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:56 pm
by Brian Devlin 3B
You know the song Broccoli by D.R.A.M....."All she wanna do is smoke de Broglie".....I'm sorry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 8:19 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
What do dipoles say in passing? Do you have a moment?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:26 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
Long live Lavelle

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:27 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
Harry have mercy, I forgot to post last week and I don't want to lose points :D

I love you Harry <3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:43 pm
by 504809830_3F
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:44 pm
by 504809830_3F
A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor. The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD. Are you sure you used the right set of reagents? The student replied: Absolutely. According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:46 pm
by 504809830_3F
What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:47 pm
by 504809830_3F
What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse? HIO Ag!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:49 pm
by Jonathan Marin Dis3A
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:51 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Just because it's almost Christmas break
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:04 pm
by Daniel Namgoong 3I
Why did the bear drown?
Cause it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:24 pm
by Stefanie Shidoosh 4E
What did the cation say to the Chem 14A student the night before the final exam?

Stay positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:25 pm
by BlakeMillar4J
Why did the acid go to the gym?
-To become a buffer solution!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:27 pm
by BlakeMillar4J
"In the middle of the party, chick get off me
In the cut I'm rollin' up with De Broglie"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:29 pm
by BlakeMillar4J
What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms? 2Na!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:38 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
"What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?"
A one molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:40 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Science

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:46 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Q: what did the scientist say when he found two helium isotopes?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:51 pm
by 404805762
A cation is an ion with a paws-itive charge.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:52 pm
by AnnaTong1E
Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are riding in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am," Heisenberg replies.

The cop says, "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says, "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, [censored]!" shouts Schrodinger.

Fed up with their antics, the cop tries to arrest them.
Ohm resists.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:53 pm
by 404805762
Think like a proton: always positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:53 pm
by 404805762
Any jokes about sodium? Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:57 pm
by 404805762
All the good chemistry jokes argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:19 am
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Why did the nobel gas cry?
Because all his/her friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:32 am
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
So does having some BaNa2 make more K or have I been lied to

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 3:57 am
by Raj Susarla 3I
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:48 am
by Audrey Magsig 1E
What is the name of 007's arctic cousin?


Polar bond

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:39 am
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:06 am
by Camille_Rousculp_3A
just chemistry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:19 am
by Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E
Suffice it to say that we can call a carbon ring with iron atoms in place of the carbons as a Ferrous wheel?

Sorry for the transition metal pun, Cu in class today!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:23 am
by Anthony Garibay 3J
Chemistry Joke of the Day

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:03 pm
by Josh_Zhong_1F
What Is The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

A. CoFe2



LOLOLOLLLL..

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:05 pm
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
Hydrogen Argon Americium Beryllium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:07 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What is the show Cesium and Iodine love watching together?

CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:11 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:18 pm
by Sascha_Clark_4I
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:33 pm
by JulieLy_3C
My favorite elements during finals are chromium and yttrium. CrY

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:39 pm
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
What kind of fish is made out of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:41 pm
by Ishita_Dubey_2D
I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen...

But NaH.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 12:42 pm
by Alexandra_Cooper_4H
http://www.chemistryjokes.com/images/lo ... uoride.jpg
I am worried that my final grades will look something like carbontetrafluoride... I hope no one else has this issue!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:47 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
Why shouldn't you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:53 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:10 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
Why can't people trust atoms?
Cause they make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:12 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:19 pm
by Abbeyj3I
What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:19 pm
by Abbeyj3I
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:41 pm
by NicholasKillmeier3K
Finals

;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 6:58 pm
by Katherine Sung 2I
Titration is like dubstep, just drop the base. :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 7:35 pm
by Kevin_Li_2F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:10 pm
by Annalia_Ferrer_1F
When you see an attractive person:

"I got my ion you."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:15 pm
by Alexma 3A
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:16 pm
by Alexma 3A
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:17 pm
by Alexma 3A
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:17 pm
by Alexma 3A
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:21 pm
by Alexma 3A
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:23 pm
by Alexma 3A
Q: What is an Organic chemistry students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:24 pm
by Alexma 3A
Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:29 pm
by Alexma 3A
Sixteen sodiums walk into a room. Who's next? NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA BATMAAAN!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:32 pm
by Alexma 3A
Did you here about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:33 pm
by Alexma 3A
What is the cation afraid of? A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:36 pm
by paulapedrani
Hope everyone has a good (B)Boron (Re)Rhenium (A) (K) Potassium!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:01 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
What does the leader of the electron army say when they go to war?

CHAAARGE!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:44 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:45 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:45 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:46 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:46 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant?
A: A chemistree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:47 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: What did one titration tell the other?
A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 9:49 pm
by Colleen_Clarke_4B
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:25 pm
by SaniShabgahi3N
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:27 pm
by Hao 1I
Students fear O-chem so much because they go through alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:59 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
As fun as this page is, I only like chem jokes periodically.

Ba dum tss

congrats to everyone for finishing 14A!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:38 pm
by Sanjay_Kumar_2J
"I would never try to poison you...
Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:45 pm
by ginnyyao1L
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 11:46 pm
by Nick_Ida 1D
What kind of fish is made of 2 NA atoms?
A two-NA ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:05 am
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:23 am
by Aneri Chouhan
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:24 am
by Aneri Chouhan
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:24 am
by Aneri Chouhan
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:25 am
by Aneri Chouhan
Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 12:47 am
by Aaron_Trell_2J
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:05 am
by FaithPigeon_1E
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

At least I have a degree.