CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:28 am**

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

Posted: **Mon Jan 09, 2017 2:34 pm**

People who study organic chemistry can really get into alkynes of trouble

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:22 am**

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?

Because its in a ground state!!

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:09 pm**

i'd tell you a chemistry joke...but all the good ones argon.

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:13 pm**

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:40 pm**

Wanna hear a joke about sodium?
Na

I have many chemistry jokes, I'm just afraid I won't get a good reaction

All the good chemistry jokes argon.

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:25 pm**

How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:19 pm**

My chemistry professor threw sodium chloride at me! That's a salt!

Posted: **Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:36 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:37 am**

What Did The Bartender Say When Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium And Phosphorous Walked Into His Bar?

OH SNaP!

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:09 pm**

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:26 pm**

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:29 pm**

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:31 pm**

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:01 pm**

you are a boron

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 5:43 pm**

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:27 pm**

you're a 10?
Maybe on a pH scale,
cause you're basic.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:29 pm**

Chemistry is like cooking, just don't lick the spoon.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:30 pm**

Q: What is a chemist's favorite salty food?
A: NaC2H3O2!
(Nacho)

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:41 pm**

What did the crazy chemist do with the bulls at rodeo?

He Rhodium. *ba dum tss*

(thought of this myself tyvm)

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:57 pm**

I would never try to poison you

Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:18 pm**

What do you call 6.02214 x 10^23 big, white bears?

MOLAR BEARS!

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:36 pm**

What's the difference between cooking and chemistry?

In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:44 pm**

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:02 pm**

I saw my friends inhaling helium and I was like:
He, He, He

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:02 pm**

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:26 pm**

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

Posted: **Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:28 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:04 am**

Q: Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
Q: How did it go?
A: It went OK2!

Q: I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
A: He said NaBrO

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:54 am**

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:39 am**

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:54 am**

You are a 10?
Maybe on a pH scale because you are basic.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:56 am**

I was going to post a chemistry joke but Na

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:57 am**

I have many chemistry jokes.. I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:55 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:20 pm**

Getting in the spirit of chem...

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:22 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:16 pm**

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:18 pm**

This is a picture I found that I liked.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:21 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:47 pm**

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:10 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones... ARGON...

How often do I make jokes about chemistry?... Periodically.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:34 pm**

*me reading all these jokes*: "That was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one!"

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:01 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:02 pm**

If a king farts, is it considered a noble gas?

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:07 pm**

Dude that is telling joke: What did the chemist say to the other chemist?

Dude receiving the joke: lmao wat

Dude that is telling joke: We're both chemists

lol

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:21 pm**

So a neutron walks into a bar right? Asks the bartender how much the whiskey costs... bartender says, "For you bud, no charge!"

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:32 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:01 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:01 pm**

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:05 pm**

Chemistry is a pain in the acid!!!!!

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:17 pm**

"I don't trust atoms...they make up everything."

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:14 pm**

What does an enthalpy pirate steal? Your Joules.

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:45 pm**

person 1: hey did you hear that oxygen and magnesium got together?
person 2: OMg

Posted: **Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:57 pm**

Gold walks into a bar, barman shouts Au get out of here!

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:41 am**

IF A KING FARTS, WILL IT BE A NOBLE GAS?

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:26 am**

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:09 am**

What kind of fish is made of sodium?

2Na!

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:07 am**

Oxygen asked Nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:36 am**

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:36 am**

Exothermic reaction?
I studied them before they were cool

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:42 am**

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:07 am**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:09 am**

Q: What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
A: FeBreeze

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:10 am**

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:32 am**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:34 am**

You don't know the 5th element of the periodic table?
What a boron!

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:50 am**

Q: If a bear in Alaska and a bear in Yosemite both fall into the water, which one dissolves first?

A: The bear in Alaska because it's polar.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:11 pm**

Why do chemists like the carnival?
They like to ride the ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:07 pm**

I left Boron and Rubidium in my room...

BRB

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:14 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:37 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:43 pm**

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:02 pm**

Q: Why can you never trust atoms? A: They make up everything.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:22 pm**

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:28 pm**

"I blew up my chemistry experiment."

"That's okay. Oxidants happen."

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:37 pm**

"Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:03 pm**

What does a hipster studying thermochemistry say?

"I studied exothermic reactions before they were cool."

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:04 pm**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:09 pm**

I don't trust atoms...I hear the make up everything.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:14 pm**

In light of new year resolutions: Why did acid go to BFit?

To become a "buffer" solution.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:54 pm**

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:13 pm**

Calcium+Iron

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:18 pm**

My favorite frequency is 50,000 Hz.

You've probably never heard it before.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:26 pm**

Chemistry is a pain in the acid!

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:33 pm**

Every dipole has its moment.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:26 pm**

Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?
A: Because she is a Female.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:29 pm**

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:31 pm**

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:48 pm**

A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, "Welcome! Can we help you with your luggage?" The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:22 pm**

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 7:51 pm**

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
....
He's 0K now.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:50 pm**

Acids and bases are pHun

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:03 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

A: It went OK.

Posted: **Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:41 pm**

What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walked into his Bar?

OH SNaP

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:15 am**

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 1:00 pm**

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
Answer: 2Na

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 1:01 pm**

Q: What did the element say to the police?
A: I CU copper

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:33 pm**

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na (tuna)

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:03 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers.

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