CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:16 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:28 pm**

1. Cation: an ion with a paws-itive charge

2. Chemistry puts the "cation" in education!

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:58 pm**

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 5:45 pm**

All the good periodic table jokes argon?
I don't zinc so!

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:26 pm**

How many Chemistry references can you find?

As: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. I heard it went ok.
Be: Omg, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium!
As: Actually oxygen first tried asking nitrogen, but nitrogen said no.
Be: But what about the hydrogen twins? He seems to bond well with them.
As: Yeah, but when he tried going out with one of them, he thought she was too basic.
Be: Hey what happens if we set him up with that other oxygen you said you knew?
As: Good idea. I'm sure they would make a stable couple.
Be: But right now it seems like potassium is the element for him.
As: I wouldn't be so certain. Potassium always bursts into flames when she sees oxygen bonding with the hydrogen twins.
Be: So you're saying potassium and oxygen will soon dissociate?
As: Trust me, potassium will be back to being a lonely ion in no time.
Be: Are you sure?
As: Positive.

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:46 pm**

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:00 pm**

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?

A: Never lick the spoon!

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:02 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:16 pm**

Hello, does anyone know how to post in this Chemistry community. I want to post a question about the chemistry reading, but I can't find the button that says "create new post", or something to that extent. Please help.

Sylvester Foley

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:44 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:54 pm**

I don't trust atoms. I think they makeup everything!!!!

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:55 pm**

Q. Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on the 24th?

A. He was tense to the 23rd.

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:51 pm**

Are you made up of Copper and Tellurium?

Because you're so CuTe!!!

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:58 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:56 pm**

Why does a photon only need one suitcase when travelling?
Because it's traveling light.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:45 am**

Why was the non-metal kicked out of the orchestra?

It was a poor conductor!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:28 am**

I was going to tell you a chemistry joke...
but I'm not because it was going to have a bad reaction.
LOL

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:18 am**

WARNING: Only Black Mirror viewers will understand.

when you're a solid piece of nitrogen and you get put into a room temperature environment and start to evaporate and die but then you remember Jennifer and Harry from Black Mirror and realize

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:40 am**

Why couldn't the angel pass from Container A to Container B?

Because there's a demon in the way

(Maxwell's Demon)

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:57 am**

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:09 pm**

On what charge was NaCl arrested?
A salt.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:19 pm**

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:54 pm**

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:27 pm**

Technically speaking, chemistry teaches us that alcohol is a solution... do with that information what you will.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:30 pm**

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:33 pm**

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
- HeHe

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:33 pm**

: chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 16122 times

: chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 16122 times

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:30 pm**

If Sodium and Neon were to have a conversation, it would go a little something like this:

Na: That Chemistry Community joke was Sodium funny!
Ne: I know! I really slapped my Neon that last one! Haha!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:47 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:50 pm**

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:51 pm**

Exothermic reactions?

I studied them before they were cool.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:54 pm**

Cat Chemist Meme #1

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:55 pm**

I don't trust atoms... i heard they make everything up

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:56 pm**

Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:05 pm**

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:13 pm**

I would make another chemistry joke... but all the good ones argon.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:16 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because it was a polar bear.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:28 pm**

Ayyy girl, are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full <3

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:08 pm**

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

lol

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:08 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:22 pm**

Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0k.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:28 pm**

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:29 pm**

What is the formula for sea water?

A. CH2O

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:50 pm**

Q: Does anyone know a good joke about sodium?

A: Na

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:55 pm**

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:44 pm**

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-meen-o acid !!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:55 pm**

I hope I don't sound too politically charged, but we need to neutralize all free radicals. They are a cancer to our society.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:19 pm**

I used to be obsessed with chromatography now i realize it was just a phase :/

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:30 pm**

Q: What is the chemistry formula for Banana?

A: BaNa2

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:38 pm**

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:09 pm**

What's the formula for water?
HIJKLMNO
(H to O)

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:11 pm**

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6X10^23 pieces?

Guacamole

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:16 pm**

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:22 pm**

What do donuts, bread, and pasta all have in common?
They are rich in Calcium and Rubidium (CaRb)

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:44 pm**

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:52 pm**

What's the difference in chemistry and cooking?

In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:05 pm**

All the good chemistry jokes argon. :/

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:07 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:17 pm**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
:/

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:20 pm**

People think I'm obsessed with chemistry jokes,
Beryllium not.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:21 pm**

I was feeling kind of hot so I set the thermostat to -273 degrees Celsius, and I think I'm 0 K now.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:27 pm**

What did one titration tell the other?

Let's meet at the endpoint.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:42 pm**

It is well known that an optimist sees the glass half full while the pessimist sees it half empty. But what about a chemist? Simple, a chemist sees the glass completely full; half in liquid state and half in vapor state.

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:54 pm**

I'm glad I'm done with 14A, I hated learning about electrons, I got so Bohr'd.

How many moles are in guacamole? Avocado's number!

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:55 pm**

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:01 pm**

We asked someone sitting next to us if he had any sodium hypobromite, and he said "NaBrO"

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:16 pm**

So an element walks into a restaurant. The waiter says "hey this is a solids-only establishment" and the element remarks "I...uh...dine here."

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:06 pm**

: cation.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 16108 times

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:14 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:22 pm**

Q: Why do chemist enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:23 pm**

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:34 pm**

What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises?

It becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
Good nitrogen
Sleep tightrogen
Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:04 am**

some jokes for y'all

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:09 am**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:01 am**

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:12 am**

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:21 pm**

What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:24 pm**

I tell bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones argon...

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:53 pm**

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 2:40 pm**

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:35 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:55 pm**

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:30 pm**

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 5:51 pm**

Q: You wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide
A: NO

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:20 pm**

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:46 pm**

Q: What do you call a fish made up of two sodium atoms?

A: 2Na ;)

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:00 pm**

Q:What Is A Chemist’s Favorite Plant?
A:Stoichiome-Tree

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:38 pm**

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:35 pm**

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:13 pm**

What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:36 pm**

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:02 pm**

Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:04 pm**

lilyjustine wrote:Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:00 am**

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:21 am**

http://f.tqn.com/y/chemistry/1/S/Z/O/2/ ... icexam.png

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:56 am**

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:23 am**

Q: What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:43 pm**

Uranium-238 and plutonium-239 walk into a bar. After having a few drinks they split. There were no survivors within a 23 block radius.

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:46 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:34 pm**

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