Page 18 of 77

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:16 pm
by Helen_Onuffer_1A
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:28 pm
by Eman_Burney_1D
1. Cation: an ion with a paws-itive charge

2. Chemistry puts the "cation" in education!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:58 pm
by Jenny2G
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 5:45 pm
by Noor_Burney_1L
All the good periodic table jokes argon?
I don't zinc so!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:26 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
How many Chemistry references can you find?

As: So oxygen went on a date with potassium today. I heard it went ok.
Be: Omg, I thought oxygen was dating magnesium!
As: Actually oxygen first tried asking nitrogen, but nitrogen said no.
Be: But what about the hydrogen twins? He seems to bond well with them.
As: Yeah, but when he tried going out with one of them, he thought she was too basic.
Be: Hey what happens if we set him up with that other oxygen you said you knew?
As: Good idea. I'm sure they would make a stable couple.
Be: But right now it seems like potassium is the element for him.
As: I wouldn't be so certain. Potassium always bursts into flames when she sees oxygen bonding with the hydrogen twins.
Be: So you're saying potassium and oxygen will soon dissociate?
As: Trust me, potassium will be back to being a lonely ion in no time.
Be: Are you sure?
As: Positive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:46 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:00 pm
by Raj Susarla 3I
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?

A: Never lick the spoon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:02 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:16 pm
by Sylvester_Foley_3G
Hello, does anyone know how to post in this Chemistry community. I want to post a question about the chemistry reading, but I can't find the button that says "create new post", or something to that extent. Please help.

Sylvester Foley

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:44 pm
by Kelly Tran 3N
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:54 pm
by Jand474
I don't trust atoms. I think they makeup everything!!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:55 pm
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
Q. Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on the 24th?







A. He was tense to the 23rd.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:51 pm
by Stephanie_Younan_3D
Are you made up of Copper and Tellurium?

Because you're so CuTe!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:58 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:56 pm
by JulieLy_3C
Why does a photon only need one suitcase when travelling?
Because it's traveling light.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:45 am
by chris2E
Why was the non-metal kicked out of the orchestra?

It was a poor conductor!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:28 am
by lorrainerowe_1K
I was going to tell you a chemistry joke...
but I'm not because it was going to have a bad reaction.
LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:18 am
by Morgan_McMasters_3A
WARNING: Only Black Mirror viewers will understand.

when you're a solid piece of nitrogen and you get put into a room temperature environment and start to evaporate and die but then you remember Jennifer and Harry from Black Mirror and realize

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:40 am
by Timothy Yu 2M
Why couldn't the angel pass from Container A to Container B?

Because there's a demon in the way

(Maxwell's Demon)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:57 am
by Omar_Said_1G
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:09 pm
by Melissa Van Pell 2I
On what charge was NaCl arrested?
A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:19 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:54 pm
by AlexSun2L
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:27 pm
by Khachik_Hmayakyan_2E
Technically speaking, chemistry teaches us that alcohol is a solution... do with that information what you will.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:30 pm
by StevenBieneman_3K
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:33 pm
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
- HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:33 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
chemistry cat.jpg
chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 6718 times
chemistry cat.jpg
chemistry cat.jpg (21.74 KiB) Viewed 6718 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:30 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
If Sodium and Neon were to have a conversation, it would go a little something like this:

Na: That Chemistry Community joke was Sodium funny!
Ne: I know! I really slapped my Neon that last one! Haha!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:47 pm
by Swati_Sharma_2D
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:50 pm
by Kirsten Bermudo 1O
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:51 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
Exothermic reactions?

I studied them before they were cool.

Re: Chemistry Joke

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:54 pm
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
Cat Chemist Meme #1

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:55 pm
by Karishma_Patel3E
I don't trust atoms... i heard they make everything up

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 2:56 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?



Because they have all the solutions

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:05 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:13 pm
by Timothy_Hyun_2K
I would make another chemistry joke... but all the good ones argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:16 pm
by a_jeny2E
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:28 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
Ayyy girl, are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium?
Because you are Be-Au-Ti-full <3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:08 pm
by wesley hardin
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:08 pm
by alvitaxiao
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:22 pm
by JonathanZhu3B
Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0k.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:28 pm
by Dana_Tran_1L
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:29 pm
by Maverick Tan 1F
What is the formula for sea water?

A. CH2O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:50 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Q: Does anyone know a good joke about sodium?

A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:55 pm
by Ian Brown 1K
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:44 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-meen-o acid !!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:55 pm
by Rodri_Karla_1J
I hope I don't sound too politically charged, but we need to neutralize all free radicals. They are a cancer to our society.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:19 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
I used to be obsessed with chromatography now i realize it was just a phase :/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:30 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
Q: What is the chemistry formula for Banana?

A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:38 pm
by JesusGarcia_2N
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:09 pm
by Lillian_Lai_1K
What's the formula for water?
HIJKLMNO
(H to O)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:11 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6X10^23 pieces?

Guacamole

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:16 pm
by Lily_Dermendjian_2B
What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:22 pm
by Andrew M 2J
What do donuts, bread, and pasta all have in common?
They are rich in Calcium and Rubidium (CaRb)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:44 pm
by Britney Pheng 1L
IMG_0115.JPG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:52 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
What's the difference in chemistry and cooking?

In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:05 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
All the good chemistry jokes argon. :/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:07 pm
by MichelleCarter_1F
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:17 pm
by Zoe Robertson 2H
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
:/

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:20 pm
by Kristen_Power_1C
People think I'm obsessed with chemistry jokes,
Beryllium not.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:21 pm
by Affy_Hussain_3A
I was feeling kind of hot so I set the thermostat to -273 degrees Celsius, and I think I'm 0 K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:27 pm
by Adrienne Johnson 1D
What did one titration tell the other?

Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:42 pm
by Kristina98
It is well known that an optimist sees the glass half full while the pessimist sees it half empty. But what about a chemist? Simple, a chemist sees the glass completely full; half in liquid state and half in vapor state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:54 pm
by Neha Nibber 3H
I'm glad I'm done with 14A, I hated learning about electrons, I got so Bohr'd.

How many moles are in guacamole? Avocado's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:55 pm
by Samya Konda 2I
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:01 pm
by Ethan_Wilson_1E
We asked someone sitting next to us if he had any sodium hypobromite, and he said "NaBrO"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:16 pm
by isabelle ruedisueli 1j
So an element walks into a restaurant. The waiter says "hey this is a solids-only establishment" and the element remarks "I...uh...dine here."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:06 pm
by Tyler_Honrada_1L
cation.jpg
cation.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 6704 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:14 pm
by veeksha25
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:22 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Q: Why do chemist enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:23 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: It's pretty basic stuff

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 11:34 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises?

It becomes daytrogen
I’m going to bed.
Good nitrogen
Sleep tightrogen
Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:04 am
by Sanjay_Kumar_2J
some jokes for y'all

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:09 am
by Alyssa Chan 3B
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:01 am
by Nikhita_Jaaswal_2H
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:12 am
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:21 pm
by jillianduffield_2D
What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:24 pm
by 804748473
I tell bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones argon...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:53 pm
by Lauren Wong 3K
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 2:40 pm
by Chris_Rudewicz_3H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:35 pm
by Anna_Kim_2E
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:55 pm
by Zara_Joshi_3L
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:30 pm
by Aneet_2A_
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 5:51 pm
by Luigivar 2F
Q: You wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide
A: NO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:20 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 6:46 pm
by melissapasao1B
Q: What do you call a fish made up of two sodium atoms?


A: 2Na ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:00 pm
by Melanie Martinez 1K
Q:What Is A Chemist’s Favorite Plant?
A:Stoichiome-Tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 7:38 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?


A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:35 pm
by 004583503_Lupe2E
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:13 pm
by msrivastava_
What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:36 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:02 pm
by lilyjustine_1G
Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:04 pm
by Austin Gee 2N
lilyjustine wrote:Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:00 am
by Chaoyi_He_3H
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:21 am
by Hannah Liu 2A

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:56 am
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:23 am
by heather_carlton_1K
Q: What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A: 2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:43 pm
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Uranium-238 and plutonium-239 walk into a bar. After having a few drinks they split. There were no survivors within a 23 block radius.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:46 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:34 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image