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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:20 pm
by StephZou_2G
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:53 pm
by ben maryamian
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 3:59 pm
by Libbyfidel_1E
Two men walk into a bar...

First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:46 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. (H2O)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:07 pm
by Odel Zadeh_2C
Did you hear that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:21 pm
by yubin moon 3c
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:22 pm
by Ashley T 2H
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:20 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
This might be too cheesy...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:43 pm
by Eljie_2F
Austin Gee 2N wrote:
lilyjustine wrote:Name a more iconic duo...
I'll wait


Name a more ionic duo...
CsF.jpeg
CsF.jpeg (6.49 KiB) Viewed 6522 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:56 pm
by Jinghui Song 2J
Check this out
Hilarious

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:33 pm
by Jaret Nishikawa
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:09 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:12 pm
by SarahTian3k
What's the difference between a scientist and a worker?
Their pronunciation of unionized.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:15 pm
by 004599434
Do you have 11 protons?
Because you're sodium fine.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:18 pm
by msrivastava_
Q: Wanna hear a joke about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:22 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:33 pm
by Jessica De Anda 2C
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:51 pm
by Jorge_Escobar_3L
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:14 am
by Anjum Farook 2O
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:48 am
by Park_DoHy_2F
A noble joke

Reactivity of Neon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 10:23 am
by sheilaho_1E
Are you sulfur, oxygen, copper, and tellurium?

Because you are SO CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 12:33 pm
by Tanner Baroni 3I
Q: Why are chemists bad at telling jokes?
A: They lack the element of surprise

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 1:04 pm
by Evan Gentry 2E
Have you heard about the chemist who was reading the book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:27 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
Entropy isn't what it used to be. :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:29 pm
by StevenBieneman_3K
Q: How do scientists pronounce crayon?
A: Carbon, Radium, Yttrium, Oxygen, Nitrogen

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 3:39 pm
by Iris Feng 2I
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 4:27 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 4:33 pm
by rachel_john
Here's a joke I thought was kind of funny

Q: What is a chemist's favorite tree?

A: Stoichiome-tree

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 5:25 pm
by Emily_Bloom_1I
For what crime was the enthalpy pirate arrested?

stealing joules

*cue sympathy laughter

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 7:33 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 7:39 pm
by Jason_Hong_2J
What's the matter?

Gas, Liquid, Solid, or Plasma

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 7:45 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
Señor, is Silicon spelled the same way in Spanish?
"Si."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:53 pm
by Noor_Chahal_3G
What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:55 pm
by Noor_Chahal_3G
What do you get when 6.02x1023 mosquitoes bite you?

Molearia

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:56 pm
by Jessica_Chang_1G
What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like "O MG"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:35 pm
by Katelyn_Nakamura_1B
Anyone know any good sodium jokes?

Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:49 pm
by Ivy Kwok 2I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:58 pm
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
You're a unit of power Harry.

I'm a watt?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:45 am
by Maverick Tan 1F
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?

A: Because all his friends argon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 1:52 pm
by K Phelan 3D
You got any sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 3:43 pm
by Joanne_Park_4C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:13 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Exothermic reactions?
I studied them before they were cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:35 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:53 pm
by Amanda Salgado 3D
I don't trust atoms.....



I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:02 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
What did one ion say to the other?

I got my ion you

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here from Adam Perez Discussion 1L

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:10 pm
by Adam Perez
A block of dry ice was sitting on a table and begins to turn into carbon dioxide gas. After a while, the block is gone and a cloud of CO2 is floating around. A nearby oxygen cloud asks, “Hey, I just saw you go through a phase change…how was it?”
The CO2 cloud replies, “It was sublime!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:02 am
by Tania_Torres_3O
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:24 am
by Jenny2G
When do chemists tell jokes?
Periodically.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:13 am
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?
A: A KNiFe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:27 am
by Lauren Wong 3K
Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
A: BaNaNa!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:29 am
by Matthew_Vargas_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:59 am
by Helena Vervaet 1N
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:45 am
by KoSiOg
Never Trust an Atom.... They Make Up Everything

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:57 pm
by arsalzaheer2L
What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 1:19 pm
by Sascha_Clark_4I
A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:02 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:04 pm
by AngelaWang_1F
Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:25 pm
by Brandon Han 3H
Do you have any sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:28 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
what's the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2! :D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:54 pm
by Jana_Lang_2B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:53 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
A cation is an ion with a paws-itive charge

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:54 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
The name's bond...Hydrogen bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:55 pm
by divya_devineni_2E
Love is in the air. Wrong; Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:16 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
Wanna hear a joke about nitric oxide?

NO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:19 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
Chemistry has taught us that pressure and volume are inversely related to each other with everything else held constant. In other words, when pressure increases, volume decreases. Yet whenever I am under extreme pressure, my volume always ends up increasing as well. Guess the laws of chemistry don't apply to the phenomenon known as stress eating before finals.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 6:00 pm
by Alice Jung 1C
What do cows study in college?
Creamistry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 6:06 pm
by jillianduffield_2D
Exothermic reactions? I studied them before they were cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 7:17 pm
by Andrew Nguyen 3O
Technically, alcohol is a solution.

Chemistry Jokes

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:02 pm
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
Lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:52 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:25 pm
by Diana_Anum1G
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:49 pm
by Anika_Desar_3N
What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:41 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
What did the molecule say during the baseball game?
A: "Keep your i-on the ball!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:55 pm
by JesusGarcia_2N
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:51 am
by HarshiniMuthukumar3N
Yo' Mamma So Ugly
Not Even Fluorine Would Bond With Her!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:04 am
by Sascha_Clark_4I
Q: Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:30 am
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Aldehyde

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:44 am
by Ting Zheng 3L
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:45 pm
by Hung_Sabrina_3N
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:46 pm
by Amanda_Quintero_1K
Q: Why can you never trust atoms?

A: They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:18 pm
by Shelley Pi 1K
“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:28 pm
by Emily_Bennett_3C
I don't trust atoms, they make up everything

Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:39 pm
by Nikola_Stojcic_3O
Heat: Wanna hang out?
Internal Energy of the system: I can't, I have work.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:20 pm
by kgiesch1N
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:44 pm
by FaithPigeon_1E
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice

H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:48 pm
by JulieLy_3C
Where do the elements go on their first date?
The ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:51 pm
by Diana_Visco_1l
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:17 pm
by Imani Johnson 1H
If Fe= Iron....then does,
Female= Iron Man?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:51 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Im out of chemistry jokes.. I should zinc of a new one :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:47 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:47 pm
by Brandon_Williams_3E
Q: What kind of fish can you count on for sodium?
A: 2-Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:03 pm
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
What was the charge on NaCl when it was arrested?

A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:12 pm
by deantuazon2G
What do you do to a dead chemist?
You Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:16 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
I don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:59 pm
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together? OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:24 pm
by Jennifer Ngo 1M
What did the chemist say when he found two helium atoms?

HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:37 pm
by Melissa Van Pell 2I
How many moles are in a guacamole?
Avocado's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:49 pm
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
B4w0xqbCYAElGrQ.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:09 pm
by Zoe Robertson 2H
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

A: SWAG

8-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:10 pm
by Brandon_Goenawan2O
If I were an endothermic chemical reaction at equilibrium, you would push me to the right because you are hot:)