Page 20 of 78

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:34 pm
by JoAnna Yortiss 2G
*Final Exam*
Write the first and second Laws of Thermodynamics:

First rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.

Second rule of thermodynamics is you do not talk about thermodynamics.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:41 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:52 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:34 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
Seeing as how we're now learning about entropy...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:12 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Here's a joke:

Question: Why don't you trust atoms?

Answer: Because they made up everything?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:53 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:11 am
by SydneyKusumoputro_3K
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:23 am
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
Helium Yttrium Selenium Xenon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:01 am
by Timothy Yu 2M
I was late to my lab one morning only to find the room locked and the lights out. On the door was a sign that says "Lab closed, Gone Fission"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:09 am
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:20 am
by AnnaTong1E
ha... haha.. ha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:36 am
by Natalie Hunt 1E
Every dipole has its moment.

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Got more problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:08 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
What did the proton say to the grumpy electron?
"Why do you have to be so negative all the time?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:52 pm
by ChiragThadaniDis2M
Here's another one-

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:01 pm
by Jand474
Silver walks up to gold and says "AU! GET OUT OF HERE"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:14 pm
by TramHo2G
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:17 pm
by Neha Nibber 3H
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends Argon!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 1:22 pm
by Kirsten Bermudo 1O
What happens when electrons lose their energy?
They get Bohr'ed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:15 pm
by saminah_adam
What kind of charge does a cation have? A paws-itive one!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:18 pm
by Sandy_Kim_1K
You know what're cool?

Things with low molecular energy. B-)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:26 pm
by Kit Potter
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:29 pm
by Jessica_Zeng_3G
What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 2:57 pm
by Keitty_Calderon_1C
You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

Organic chemistry is so hard, people who take the course go through alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 3:09 pm
by Teresa_Duarte_3K
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 3:12 pm
by Annie_Amundson_1L
Q: What did the sheep say after eating some barium?

A: Ba :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:03 pm
by Evan Lee 2D
Q:What kinds of dogs do chemists have?

A:Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:27 pm
by melissasandoval2O
Why is a hot bracelet more valuable than a cold bracelet? Because it has more joules.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:40 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 4:48 pm
by Gabriela_2E
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:03 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
I love all the jokes on Chemistry Community, but I sometimes worry that my jokes aren't going to yield the reaction that I desire;) Get it? HAHA

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:14 pm
by Kevin Bangi 1A
What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ and no end

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:20 pm
by christy_zambrano_2E
Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:21 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
:0

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:22 pm
by Melody Li 2L
The Pope calls a conference at the Vatican. 6.022 x 10^23 priests attend. The name of the conference was named "Holy Mole-y."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:38 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 5:39 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:00 pm
by Martin_Sarafyan_2K
What did the assassin give his victim to eat?
A Pb and jelly sandwich

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:05 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G
batman.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:08 pm
by KylaTenido1G
I think I lost an electron-- I’d better keep an ion that!

Also, check out this periodic table:
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:24 pm
by Abigail_Low_1A
What kind of bear can dissolve in water? A polar bear!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:26 pm
by Andy Chen 3L
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:33 pm
by Kimberly_Hernandez_3L
What kind of dogs do chemist have? Laboratory retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:44 pm
by Laila Stedman 3G
Atom: I’d like to report a missing electron.
Policeman: Are you sure?
Atom: Yes, I’m positive!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:52 pm
by Grace 3G
Chemistry puts the "cation" in education ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:57 pm
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:58 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
Parents: Why don't you clean your room?

Me: In an isolated system, entropy can only increase.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:59 pm
by David Julfayan 1F
456768.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:00 pm
by Mindy Zhang 3F
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:09 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
Entropy...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:11 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
What is the chemical form for Coffee?
CoFe2

Um- The atomic symbol for confusion

My wife is like Nitrogen and Silver: NAg NAg NAg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:26 pm
by gingy 1K
accurate

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:40 pm
by LeontyneHenderson2E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:47 pm
by Annie Tagvoryan 3A
I tried

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:24 pm
by leilarishwain_3H
Hey Dr. Lavelle, do you like to drop the base?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:39 pm
by swatiperepa
The pickup lines are always the best

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:41 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q: How does Nitric Oxide respond when asked out on a date?
A: NO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:43 pm
by Javier Portillo 3O
Q: What's the most irritating thing that someone can send you thru text?
A: Potassium(K)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:04 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
What did the ice cube say to the cup of water?

...I was water before it was cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:10 pm
by Drishti_Jain_1D
What did the policeman say to the atom?

I've got my ion you!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:13 pm
by Rodri_Karla_1J
When hydrogen was arrested, the police told him he could make one call.

He replied, "Call who?! I don't have a family."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:15 pm
by Toshio_Kanazawa_3B
Motivation: The Chemist Edition

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:29 pm
by JosephLew3C
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:31 pm
by Melanie Martinez 1K
I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date!
OMg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:37 pm
by John Ly 2I
Did ya'll hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? :o

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:55 pm
by Dana_Tran_1L
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:00 pm
by Jared Gao 3G
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:15 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
First law of thermodynamics:

You do not talk about thermodynamics

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:22 pm
by Brian_Mena_1J
Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high voltage plates before entering the workplace.


Because he didn’t want any unionized workers.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:30 pm
by alvarado_natalie_2H
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:37 pm
by Tyler_Honrada_1L
IMG_6611.JPG
IMG_6611.JPG (19.73 KiB) Viewed 4526 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:42 pm
by Krista Yang 1C
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:49 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Q:What element is a girl's future best friend?
A:Carbon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:50 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
If you cant He or Cm then you gotta Ba

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 10:54 pm
by Yiling Liu 1N
Can I survive chemistry this quarter?

Yes I chem.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:13 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:14 pm
by Jason Duong 1D
I would never try to poison you...now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:18 pm
by paulapedrani
Why do white bears dissolve in water?
Because they're polar

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:19 pm
by Grace Pu 3E
What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?

HeHe!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:22 pm
by marinarosebrock
He will steal all your joules....
IMG_1960.JPG
IMG_1960.JPG (39.33 KiB) Viewed 4523 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:30 pm
by Jagmeet_Arora_1G
So a chemistry teacher is talking about the model of the atom and all the kids are falling asleep. One student then tells the teacher, "Don't be such a Bohr!" and returns to his nap.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:40 pm
by Adam Wojnar 1K
POlar.jpg
POlar.jpg (21.13 KiB) Viewed 4523 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:21 am
by Andrew Zhong 2H
I don't think of myself as fat. I prefer to say that I have more potential energy than those around me.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:04 am
by a_jeny2E
Dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:44 am
by maria_tamondong_1L
I have a lot of chemistry jokes, but I am scared they they would not get a good REACTION. LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:44 am
by Karishma_Patel3E
You always gotta keep an ion chemists!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:22 pm
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Q: Do You Have Any Sodium Hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:30 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

“Bunsen! My flame! <3 I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice.
The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

P.S. I don't know why I was not allowed to access Chemistry Community this weekend.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:26 pm
by Shivali_Raja_3K
I would never try to poison you!

Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:26 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 2:44 pm
by Katie_Ho_1M
What do you call a clown who's in jail?


A silicon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:05 pm
by Julianne Seog 3K
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:08 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
"Mom, you can't fight the 2nd law of thermodynamics! All things, which includes bedrooms, move from a state of order to disorder."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:57 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 4:00 pm
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
If a King farts is it a Noble Gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 4:07 pm
by Julia Stinnett 2N
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 4:26 pm
by Alexxa_Vasquez_3B
Here's a good chemistry joke!

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? If not, it's fine, he's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:54 pm
by Chaoyi_He_3H
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 7:42 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? It's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:40 pm
by Odel Zadeh_2C
Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:50 pm
by Noor_Chahal_3G
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A CaNiNe