CHEMISTRY COMMUNITY

Posted: **Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:25 pm**

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
I heard it went OK.

Posted: **Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:40 pm**

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

Posted: **Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:49 pm**

Where do you go to meet your soulmate?

.
.
.
.

CHEMISTRY CLASS!!!!!! :D

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:02 am**

Anyone know any good jokes on sodium?

Na!

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:02 am**

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

FeBreeze!

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:03 am**

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:35 am**

If there is H₂O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K₉P

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:37 am**

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:00 am**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:14 am**

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they'd be alloys. *ba dum tssss*

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:39 pm**

A pessimist sees a glass half empty, an optimist sees a glass half full, but a chemist sees a glass half filled with H2O.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:08 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers!

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:27 pm**

What did Chlorine say to the other molecule?

Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine and if we bonded it'd be ionic
;)

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:57 pm**

How many moles are in Guacamole?

Avocado's Number!

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:59 pm**

Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?

Because she was too attractive!

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:07 pm**

Love is in the air?

Wrong. Nitorgen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide are in the air.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:22 pm**

Person 1: Do you understand chemistry?
Person 2: No
Person 1: Don't you mean Na? ;)
Person 2: No, I legit do not understand chemistry.

*this is an accurate representation on my life*
*sad reacts only*

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 7:03 pm**

Once I told a chemistry joke, there was no reaction.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 8:55 pm**

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:11 pm**

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:45 pm**

What show does cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:22 pm**

Did you hear about the man who's temperature dropped down to absolute zero?

Don't worry though, he's 0K.

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:30 pm**

Chem students do it on the table periodically

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:00 am**

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

A: CoFe2

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:38 am**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:05 am**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:17 pm**

“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

“A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:44 pm**

Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium broke up?
I know! I was like "O Mg"!

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:36 pm**

If you have a problem, just dissolve it in water and you'll have a solution!

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:59 pm**

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:26 pm**

What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion!

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:29 pm**

It's always good to have a positive attitude instead of having an electron cloud hanging around your head.

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:02 pm**

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium went on a date? I mean... OMG !!

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:45 pm**

How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:53 pm**

What do you do to a dead chemist?
You Barium.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:32 am**

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:53 am**

I have many chemistry jokes...I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction :)

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:55 am**

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:15 pm**

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retrievers!

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:34 pm**

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:46 pm**

A photon checked into a hotel and was asked if he needed help with his bags.
He said "No, I'm traveling light."

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:52 pm**

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution!

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:56 pm**

Do you have any sodium hypobromite?

NaHBrO

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:30 pm**

Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be?

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:58 pm**

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O!!!!

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:07 pm**

Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:15 pm**

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:18 pm**

How often do you like jokes about elements?

Periodically.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:18 pm**

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:15 pm**

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:16 pm**

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:18 pm**

Optimist: sees glass half full
Pessimist: sees glass half empty
Chemist: sees glass entirely full; half in liquid state, half in vapor state

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:18 pm**

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:45 pm**

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:45 pm**

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:40 pm**

Not to be technical, but alcohol is a solution

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:58 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:14 pm**

I learned about exothermic reactions in high school... they were really cool... (BA DUM TSSSS
!)

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:47 pm**

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:49 pm**

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2017 9:39 pm**

How I feel before studying.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:20 am**

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:32 am**

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:45 am**

https://lavelle.chem.ucla.edu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=131&t=18227&p=48771

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:22 am**

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon. :/

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:23 pm**

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:00 pm**

What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:01 pm**

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:13 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:18 pm**

Q: How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?

A: A sulfone

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:22 pm**

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:36 pm**

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:37 pm**

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:48 pm**

I need a relationship as strong as an ionic bond.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:31 pm**

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 3:04 pm**

Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 4:54 pm**

A guy smashes dimonds I guess you could say he kilo joules!

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 6:30 pm**

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 6:44 pm**

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

A: SWAG

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 7:21 pm**

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 8:24 pm**

I asked the person that was sitting next to me if I could borrow some of their Sodium Hypobromite....he said NaBrO!

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 8:50 pm**

Get yourself a friend who is down to hang out with positive entropy haha haha get it, like someone who likes to hang out spontaneously haha

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:09 pm**

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:27 pm**

Friend: Hey did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

Me: Yeah I heard it went OK.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:17 pm**

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:33 pm**

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:42 pm**

Do I know any jokes about sodium?

... Na

Posted: **Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:06 pm**

: 20150119_195957_.jpg (19.33 KiB) Viewed 39202 times

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 12:30 am**

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything!

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 12:45 am**

Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than a steak does?
Because it's in the ground state!

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:16 am**

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:31 am**

diene: "Help! Save me, I'm diene!"
triene: "I'm triene!"

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:41 am**

What am I doing with element 83?
A: None of your Bismuth.

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:05 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:32 pm**

Question- Did you hear about the date between potassium and oxygen?

Answer- It went O.K.

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:46 pm**

Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?

A: Because she was too attractive

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:48 pm**

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:15 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:29 pm**

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

Posted: **Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:31 pm**

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

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