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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:39 pm
by Katherine_Ly_1H
Why are chemists great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:58 pm
by Madison_Moore_1I
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0 K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:44 pm
by kgiesch1N
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:58 pm
by Nathan Mallipeddi 2H
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:59 pm
by Natalie_Hardiman_3C
54405239.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:20 pm
by Megan Yabumoto 3K
Have you heard that entropy isn't what it used to be??

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:02 pm
by NicoleDurghalli_1F
I appreciate everyone finding the variety of this chemistry cat's jokes

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:18 pm
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
hey girl,
are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you are Cu-Te !!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:40 pm
by Makenna Vulgas 1G
What is the name of the molecule CH2O?

Seawater! (cue pity laugh)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:46 pm
by isabelle ruedisueli 1j
What's a lion's favorite element?
Roar-on!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:55 pm
by Aditya Mamtora 2C
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:56 pm
by Aditya Mamtora 2C
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:56 pm
by Aditya Mamtora 2C
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:57 pm
by Balint Nagy 3C
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
-A CaNiNe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:12 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why are chemists never able to prank their friends?

A: Because they lack the element of surprise.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 6:27 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
How do you know a man is in love?
His internal energy goes up - he works harder, gets hot & sweaty.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 7:11 pm
by StevenBieneman_3K
If I were an acid, I'd be a-mean-oh-acid.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:02 pm
by alvitaxiao
What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:36 pm
by Catherine_L_1C
First law of thermodynamics? Don't talk about thermodynamics.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:38 pm
by Asha_Isse_1N
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:50 pm
by AndyL3I
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:51 pm
by Calvin Huang 3D
I'm out of chemistry jokes guy.

Maybe I should ZINC of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:26 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Screen Shot 2017-01-28 at 9.25.01 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:27 pm
by JoAnna Yortiss 2G
I would make a "free energy" joke

...but nobody Gibbs a dang.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:34 pm
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:42 pm
by arsalzaheer2L
What's the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:04 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:09 pm
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:30 pm
by Tamara_Torosyan_1J
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:35 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
No room for error.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:36 pm
by Justin_Bueno_2O
Corny

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:55 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:22 pm
by shreya_mantri_3I
man, these chemistry jokes are really making me 'sulfur'

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:28 am
by Philline_Tumbaga_1F
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:57 am
by Rachelle_Stark_3H
If you ever get cold just stand in a corner, it's always 90 degrees

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:17 am
by Deanna_Nguyen_3L
Here are some chem puns!

Where are all the dinosaurs?
They Argon!

What do you do to dead elements?
You Barium!

What is Santa's favorite element?

Ho Ho Ho (Holmium)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:36 am
by Imani Johnson 1H
Image

Wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:28 am
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
Some chemistry puns!

1) What do you do with a sick chemist?
-If you can't helium, and can't curium, then you might as well barium.

2) I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction!

3) All the good periodic table jokes argon?
I dont zinc so!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:56 am
by Jason Duong 1D
I dont trust atoms...I heard they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:38 am
by gingy 1K
how to get you a south campus major

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:01 pm
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
7JG0M3A.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:52 pm
by Claire_Zhou_1A
avengers unite

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:05 pm
by Jaspreet_Nagra_2I
Q:
Why do white bears dissolve in water?
A:
Because they're polar!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:21 pm
by Hyun Young Lee 2H
Chem joke in time for Valentine.


Q: Are you a compound of barium and beryllium?
A: Cause you are a total BaBe.

Use it for someone special!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:32 pm
by Erick_Hernandez_3L

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:37 pm
by caitlin_oberman_2G
Superhero chemistry joke

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:39 pm
by regina_ho_3A

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 1:57 pm
by Vagarshak 2C
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:05 pm
by Serena Patel 2H
Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?

I Am

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:14 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
bdfe92d45b4530220a9bf7b95b9320e8.jpg
"I blame entropy."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:33 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
[img]
b5fdebd1f1b92882c74ec4b3b0036cf3.jpg
[/img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:34 pm
by Cinthia_Ramirez_3B
Pick up line

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:43 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
You know what, every time I think of a heavy element, I think of U! hahahahhahahhahahha

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:43 pm
by Kimberly_Hernandez_3L
Why do chemist learn about ammonia first?
Its pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:51 pm
by rielapopp3O
What kind of pets do chemists have?

Labs

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:00 pm
by 204781248
"what if i told you......"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:02 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
Chemist A: What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Chemist B: A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:11 pm
by Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:18 pm
by ChiragThadaniDis2M
What's the charge of 'cat'ions?

They are 'paw'sitive.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:19 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
alcohol is not a problem it's a solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:23 pm
by Michelle_Ahn_2N
Mum, you can't fight the 2nd law of thermodynamics
All things, which includes bedrooms, move from a state of order to disorder.


http://image.wikifoundry.com/image/3/f1 ... /GW644H493

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:25 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
Check out this "Ferrous" Wheel...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:50 pm
by 204863791
What happens to Nitrogen when the sun sets?
It becomes daytrogen and goes to bed. Good nitrogen, sleep tightrogen, don't let the bed bugs bitrogen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:51 pm
by Chelsey_Schaum1H
Q: What was the charge when NaCl got arrested?
A: A salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:51 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G
ORIGINAL JOKE OVER HERE

What is the first element on Donald Trump's periodic table ?

Did you guess Hydrogen.
HAHAH those were old facts, the alternative fact is, "IT'S AMERICIUM FIRST!!!!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:00 pm
by Katie_Ho_1M
What does one thermodynamic state function give?

It Gibbs free energy.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:18 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:32 pm
by lorrainerowe_1K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:40 pm
by Zoe Robertson 2H
You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:41 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:54 pm
by JulieLy_3C
Why do hamburgers have less energy than steak?
They're in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:57 pm
by EmilyLeibovitch2E
love-is-in-the-air.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:01 pm
by Annie_Amundson_1L
Q: What is Lady GaGa's real last name?

A: Gallium-Gallium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:40 pm
by Carolyn Huh 1K
Don't ever trust an atom; they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:42 pm
by KoSiOg
Two friends walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies.
Be Careful what you ask for kids

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:47 pm
by Helen 3C
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:49 pm
by julia lai 3A
Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 5:56 pm
by Madison Juul 1D
what do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:04 pm
by Ting Zheng 3L
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:04 pm
by Yen Vuong 2I
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:07 pm
by Sunny Chera 1N
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:15 pm
by Anthony_Sampayo_4I
Two chemists went to bar. The first said "I'll have an H2O". The second one then said "I'll have an H2O too". He died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:17 pm
by Andy Chen 3L
I'm out of chemistry jokes...I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:41 pm
by Kathrin Magdalani 3J
Exothermic reactions?
I studied them before they were cool.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:46 pm
by Srishti_Dhawan_2I
Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:13 pm
by wesley hardin
Here's a funny one:
I dont trust atoms...I heard they make up everything. :)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:14 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you sure are CuTe ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:20 pm
by harseerat_jajj_3G
first rule of thermo

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:28 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:57 pm
by anatorres1B
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:24 pm
by Gabriela_2E
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:36 pm
by Melissa Ledesma 2B
:)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:41 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
What is the chemical formula for sugar cubes?
(C12H22O11)^3

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:47 pm
by rebecca_handler_1B
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:50 pm
by Neha Nibber 3H
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 8:51 pm
by Kevin Pham 2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:05 pm
by Thomas_Elizabeth_3A
What was the pirate chemist film rated?

Arrrrrrrgon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:13 pm
by Christian Hardoy 3F
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chomatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:17 pm
by Susanne_Taavitsa_2J
I mean I guess

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:19 pm
by Gonzalez_Liliana_1K
perfect couple: one person has cold hands, the other has warm hands, together, they maintain the ideal temperature for hand holding

relationship goals: thermodynamic equilibrium