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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:29 pm
by Harmeet_Kaur_2D
Midterm season is coming and it can be pretty stressful.

So make sure you all think like a proton and stay positive!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:34 pm
by Krista Yang 1C
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:43 pm
by Ryan Petrecca 1L
Lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:52 pm
by alvarado_natalie_2H
b5fdebd1f1b92882c74ec4b3b0036cf3.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:54 pm
by Rhiannon Imbeah 2I
"Don't trust atoms, they make up everything." ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:04 pm
by Ian Brown 1K
What is the dullest element?
Bohrium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:10 pm
by Jaz_Y_1H
-Bumper sticker about the 2nd Law of thermodynamics:
S happens

-"Absolutely," Kelvin said temperately, as he zeroed in on the
answer.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:12 pm
by Samantha Rubin-Pope - 1H
chemistry joke #1

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:16 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
In the late 1940s, German theoretical physicist Arnold Sommerfeld, having previously written a series of books in physics: mechanics (1943), electrodynamics (1948), optics (1950), etc., was asked why he had never written a book on thermodynamics?

“Thermodynamics is a funny subject. The first time you go through it, you don't understand it at all. The second time you go through it, you think you understand it, except for one or two small points. The third time you go through it, you know you don't understand it, but by that time you are so used to it, it doesn't bother you anymore.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:29 pm
by swatiperepa
This cat is my hero

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:38 pm
by JessenyaReyes_1B
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:48 pm
by Tiffany Wee 2D
Food jokes are the best

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:59 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
Anyone know any jokes about Sodium?

Na.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:02 pm
by Timothy Yu 2M
Why is the vacuum cleaner so hot?

Because Thermo-chemistry sucks =(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:03 pm
by Jagmeet_Arora_1G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:08 pm
by Rodri_Karla_1J
My parents ask me why I don't clean my room.

I tell them, "In an isolated system, entropy can only increase."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:10 pm
by z_hernandez_loza_3J
.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:14 pm
by Cris-1C
Why do chemists call Helium, Curium and Barium the healing elements?

-Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:19 pm
by John Ly 2I
I wish everyone best of luck on this week's quiz! :D

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:19 pm
by AlexSun2L
Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:20 pm
by Sunny Chera 1N
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:21 pm
by ERIKTORRESDisc3C
So, this scientist walks into a sports bar and orders his food and beer when another waiter approaches his a while later.
The waiter greets him, "Welcome to the Entropy Bar - may I take your order?"
"I put in disorder a long time ago. The service here is getting worse all the time," replied the scientist.
"My experience Gibbs me reason to believe you," responded the waiter.
The scientist continued, "It's not just that, I know this waitress. Her name's Ellen Omega. She really made me thermally dynamic. So, I asked her out. I tell you, when she don't like you, she really Boltz, man. Women like that are never distributed normally among the population."
What kind of Poisson would say something like this? (;

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:34 pm
by Michael Sparks 2F
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:42 pm
by Andrew M 2J
Someone threw Sodium Chloride at me.
I charged them for A Salt

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:58 pm
by Chris Yeh 3D
Q: What Kind of Fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:59 pm
by KylaTenido1G
Image
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:59 pm
by ryan_chowdhury_2E
Girl you wanna go out?
Because we have resonance ;)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:08 am
by Samya Konda 2I
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:10 am
by Samya Konda 2I
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:11 am
by Celine_Ngo_3L
954cb361299dbf962caaba2829ce6bd1.jpg
954cb361299dbf962caaba2829ce6bd1.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 7330 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:56 am
by a_jeny2E
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:19 am
by ckim_1I
Everyone during Finals be prepared like

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:43 am
by Chaoyi_He_3H
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:27 am
by Jonathan_Hu_2C
[img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:25 am
by Jeana Wei 3C
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:01 am
by Noelle Min-1N
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:08 am
by Josh_Zhong_1F
How about the chemical workers — are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:13 am
by AlexandraOsterland_3E
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:28 am
by Ashley T 2H
”I zinc we are done because all the other jokes ar-gon!”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:35 pm
by ben maryamian
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:20 pm
by Gigi Ye 2K
Take all your lame chemistry jokes and Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:41 pm
by yubin moon 3c
what is a cation afraid of?

a dogion!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 1:55 pm
by Jasmine_Wong_2K
What do you do with a sick chemist?
Well, if you can't Helium, and you can't Curium, then you're going to have to Barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 2:04 pm
by Alex Phu 2c
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 2:46 pm
by Hanan_Kashkoul_1O
"Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 3:07 pm
by Theresa_Trieu_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 3:25 pm
by Ivanna_Tang_3B
]
baby thermodynamics!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 3:34 pm
by Franklin Kong 3D
Why was the mole of oxygen so happy when she left the bar?
Because she got Avogadro's number.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:08 pm
by Helena Vervaet 1N
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says, "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says, "I think I'll have an H2O too," and he died shortly afterwards.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:11 pm
by Helena Vervaet 1N
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:48 pm
by Joshua Song 2M
That feeling when a chemist is messing with you:

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[img]https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS17grz-Ag4DLwtaeh2Eky3p9quzhgQL1u6rjgQGWJUqTkTCLxA/img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 5:14 pm
by maria_tamondong_1L
If Fe is Iron... then, FeMale is "IRON MAN"
LOL

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 6:30 pm
by Jane Sin 3A
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 6:51 pm
by Mimi_Giang_1F
I would make a joke about free energy, but no one Gibbs a darn :(

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 7:00 pm
by Frankie Escobedo 3E
Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 7.00.02 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 7:02 pm
by Melody Li 2L
Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 7.02.17 PM.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:42 pm
by Sharlene Reyes 2N
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:11 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
Don't trust atoms... They make up everything.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:21 pm
by Kristina98
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through. :) hopefully providing some laughs during these stressful weeks of midterms. Good luck everyone!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:14 pm
by Chris Liddicoat
Them: "Tell me a potassium joke!"
Me "K!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:14 pm
by Caresse_Zhong_2K
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:41 pm
by PriscillaMariscal_3F
I hate it when people text me 'K,' when I'm not in the mood to talk about Potassium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:24 am
by 804748473
Take all your lame chemistry jokes and barium

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:03 am
by GevickSafarians_14B
This was a really funny joke.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:33 am
by Sonia_Lele_2K
Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?

A: By subsisting on titrations.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:35 am
by 304779711
What kind of dogs do chemists have?
...........................
Laboratory retrievers!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:40 am
by hafsa_zulfiqar_1j
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:31 pm
by Jennifer_Yee_3I
That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 1:00 pm
by Jason_Hong_2J
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 1:16 pm
by Kendall_Islam_3A
The 4 hydrogen atoms joined forces with carbon to save the day. I guess you could say they were covaliant.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 1:28 pm
by heather_carlton_1K
Q: Is silicon spelled the same way in Spanish?
A: Si!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:04 pm
by Kiana_Shibata_2G
Q: What do you get when you complete a chemistry class?

A: A graduated cylinder.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:20 pm
by Tiffany Jeng 1L
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:51 pm
by Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N
Two men walk into a restaurant. The first says, "I'll order H2O". The second says, "I'll order H2O too". The second man dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 2:57 pm
by Kelly Ortega 1K
-What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:11 pm
by Angela To 2B
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:52 pm
by Jessica_Chang_1G
Polar Bear Joke :P

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 6:12 pm
by sheilaho_1E
Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:26 pm
by Omer Lavian 2K
How does the crystal with no entropy feel?

0 K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:50 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
Why did the bear dissolve in water?

He was a POLAR bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:55 pm
by Katelynn Luansing 2B
What was NaCl charged with?

A SALT.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:42 pm
by Mirian_Garcia_2G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:03 pm
by Korosh Bahrami
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:26 pm
by Eli Pazol 2F
*mind explodes*

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:30 pm
by 004599434
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

SWAG

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:21 pm
by Iris Feng 2I
What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:34 pm
by Irene Ramos 1F
Second Law of Thermo-Joke!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:49 pm
by YsabelCheang1H
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:58 pm
by Janet Pham 1B
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:10 am
by Tyler_Vellozzi_3E
"K."
Well potassium to you too.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:53 am
by gracehart
4ee28d47577fb2d399145f62d83d204d.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 7:39 am
by GregoryPolyakov_1H
Did you know you could cool yourself to around -273'C

You'd probably still be 0K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:51 am
by Hector_Gutierrez 1J
Q. Why did the chemistry student fall asleep during?
A. Because it was boron.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:55 am
by Hector_Gutierrez 1J
I should probably study for my quiz . . . or NaW

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:11 am
by AllanNicholson2F
I would make a free energy joke but nobody Gibbs a darn

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:18 am
by Brandon_Williams_3E
before_after_organicexam.png
Getting ready for organic chemistry

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:24 pm
by Banik_Housepian_2K
What kind of fish is made up of 2 sodium atoms?
TuNa

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:52 pm
by Michael_Zhang_1J
Q: What's another name of CH2O?
A: Sea-water!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 1:30 pm
by Evan Gentry 2E
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 2:00 pm
by Jessica_Zeng_3G
Why do chemists love nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!