Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
Think about it!!!
Think about it!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with H2O and half with O2.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with H2O and half with O2.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Johnny was a scientist
Now Johnny is no more
For what Johnny thought was
Was
Now Johnny is no more
For what Johnny thought was
Was
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H20.
The other says, "I'll have H20 too."
The second man dies.
One man orders H20.
The other says, "I'll have H20 too."
The second man dies.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The bell hop asks him “ Can I help you with your luggage?”
To which the photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”
To which the photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well the minute they met!
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well the minute they met!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.
He said, “Si.”
He said, “Si.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Time to start making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did oxygen's second date with potassium go?
It went OK2
It went OK2
Last edited by Cerjay_Lugtu_3B on Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He replies, "no, I'm travelling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the cell need when it was dying and could not breathe?
A: Cellular respiration!
A: Cellular respiration!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the book on antigravity? Because I can't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the fight between potassium and oxygen?
A: It was a K.O
A: It was a K.O
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
A: It's pretty basic stuff.
A: It's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Since Valentine's Day is coming up... Here's a chemistry pick-up line:
You are such a perfect arrangement of atoms.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.
You are such a perfect arrangement of atoms.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An optimist sees the glass half-full and a pessimist sees the glass-half empty, but the chemist sees the glass half-filled with liquid and half-filled with gas... unless the system is in a vacuum.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
So I tried telling my north campus friends a chemistry joke,
Unfortunately I got no reaction.
Unfortunately I got no reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner and said "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you". The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Happy Week 5!
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[img]/img]
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a politician? Ask them to pronounce "unionized"
Have you heard the one about the girl with the initials P B? She was easily mislead
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a politician? Ask them to pronounce "unionized"
Have you heard the one about the girl with the initials P B? She was easily mislead
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A: Did you hear? Copper just stole a bunch of electrons from Zinc!
B: That's absolutely shocking! I was positive they would get along too!
A: Oh well. Hope they find a solution to this dilemma soon.
B: I do too, but something tells me that no amount of salt can bridge this relationship. I'd say that their friendship is as good as dissolved.
B: That's absolutely shocking! I was positive they would get along too!
A: Oh well. Hope they find a solution to this dilemma soon.
B: I do too, but something tells me that no amount of salt can bridge this relationship. I'd say that their friendship is as good as dissolved.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.
A: A one molar solution.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes, but I am just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would be like..
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I love chemistry jokes hahaha and this is cute.
(also a way to remember what cations are :D)
(also a way to remember what cations are :D)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm not sure if the image is visible in my previous post, but it says
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it is basic material.
Because it is basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?
Because it was charged with battery
Because it was charged with battery
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do white bears dissolve in water?
A: Because they are polar.
A: Because they are polar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Which elements are always surprise each other?
Oxygen and Magnesium, OMg!
Oxygen and Magnesium, OMg!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into water, which one will dissolve faster?
The one in Alaska, because it's polar.
The one in Alaska, because it's polar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If the Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up, they would be ALLOYS!!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I have many degrees."
"You may have graduated but I have many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you," said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A piece of ice fell in love with a Bunsen burner...
"Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!" , said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
"Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!" , said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the guy whose temperature got down to absolute zero?
Don't worry, he's 0 K.
Don't worry, he's 0 K.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
A: It becomes daytrogen.
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