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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 9:35 pm
by Annie Tagvoryan 3A
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Think about it!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 9:42 pm
by Lei Wena Herme 1O
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 9:52 pm
by Emi Nakahara 3F
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:03 pm
by Victoria Vu 3L
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with H2O and half with O2.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:08 pm
by Amanda_Ye_1G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:20 pm
by Kimberly_Hoh_2A
Johnny was a scientist
Now Johnny is no more
For what Johnny thought was
Was

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:22 pm
by Rory_Grant_3E
This joke is sodium funny!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:23 pm
by rachel_john
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:26 pm
by Michelle Lin 3M
I'm all out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:28 pm
by Reem Abu-Shamma 2H
chem joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:32 pm
by Simran Brar 1J
[img]
images.jpg
[/img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:56 pm
by Katelyn_Nakamura_1B
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:59 pm
by Kaitlin_Reeves_1C
Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H20.
The other says, "I'll have H20 too."

The second man dies.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 11:23 pm
by Madison Juul 1D
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 11:30 pm
by SydneyKusumoputro_3K
The bell hop asks him “ Can I help you with your luggage?”
To which the photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 11:35 pm
by Deanna_Nguyen_3L
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well the minute they met!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:00 am
by Samantha_Leong_3K
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:09 am
by Jared Gao 3G
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:12 am
by Sandy_Kim_1K
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:08 am
by Grace Pu 3E
I asked my friend from Spain if silicon is spelt the same way in Spanish.
He said, “Si.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:58 am
by Toby Lin 1J
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:09 am
by helen_bui_2G
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:46 am
by Dana_Tran_1L
What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A chemistree!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:04 am
by Nadine_El Fawal_3M
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:08 am
by Teresa_Duarte_3K
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:27 pm
by Trisha Kurup 2A
Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:32 pm
by Samart_Condon_1D
Time to start making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:56 pm
by Cerjay_Lugtu_3B
How did oxygen's second date with potassium go?
It went OK2

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:56 pm
by JulieLy_3C
What element is derived from a Norse deity?
Thorium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:15 pm
by N Jew 2E
since valentine's day is coming up...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:03 pm
by Ryan Petrecca 1L
hehe XD

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:34 pm
by Frank_Smith_3L
I love chem, it makes me laugh!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:38 pm
by Tina_Keshishian_2F
Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went "OK".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:46 pm
by Desiree Martin 2A

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:50 pm
by Khang_Tran_1O
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:01 pm
by Tyler_Ash_3C
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He replies, "no, I'm travelling light."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:02 pm
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
chem joke.png

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:06 pm
by Elle_Bertuccelli_1B
I'm always in my element...unless I'm in chemistry class.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:08 pm
by Cinthia_Ramirez_3B
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:10 pm
by sboutros2B
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:19 pm
by Madison_Moore_1I
What's Avagadro's favourite animal?

A mole!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:21 pm
by Annie_Amundson_1L
Q: Which is the most relaxing element to drink?

A: Te (tellurium)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:45 pm
by Arielle 1I
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:46 pm
by Anmol Dhaliwal 2C
Q: What did the cell need when it was dying and could not breathe?

A: Cellular respiration!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:48 pm
by arsalzaheer2L
How about the chemical workers? Are they unionized?

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 3:54 pm
by Jessica Chern 1H
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Au revoir!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:03 pm
by Jackyboy 1C
Did you hear about the book on antigravity? Because I can't put it down.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:06 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Did you hear about the fight between potassium and oxygen?

A: It was a K.O

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:07 pm
by Aileen Nguyen 3N
Enjoy!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:08 pm
by Billy Ngoy 2I
Q: Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

A: It's pretty basic stuff.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:17 pm
by Harmeet_Kaur_2D
Since Valentine's Day is coming up... Here's a chemistry pick-up line:

You are such a perfect arrangement of atoms.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:18 pm
by Mikaela Gareeb 3G
An optimist sees the glass half-full and a pessimist sees the glass-half empty, but the chemist sees the glass half-filled with liquid and half-filled with gas... unless the system is in a vacuum.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:22 pm
by Breanna Buhay 2H
So I tried telling my north campus friends a chemistry joke,

Unfortunately I got no reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:35 pm
by Delour Haj 3J
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:45 pm
by 604805638
chemistry commmunity.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:00 pm
by Sahil Sharma 2J
What did one titration tell the other?

Let's meet at the endpoint.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:29 pm
by Rachel_Bressler_3I
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner and said "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you". The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:49 pm
by julia lai 3A
What is the difference between sea lion and a seal? An electron.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:56 pm
by HarshiniMuthukumar3N
do-you-have-any-sodium-hypobromite.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:59 pm
by ibukunolabinjo_3J
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:00 pm
by Marissa Stinnett 1E
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:01 pm
by Zhiyong Xie 3K
You can freeze yourself at -273.15C and still be 0K

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:30 pm
by Rachel Kipp 1I
Happy Week 5!

[img]/img]

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:41 pm
by Lexy Swenson 1F
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a politician? Ask them to pronounce "unionized"

Have you heard the one about the girl with the initials P B? She was easily mislead

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:58 pm
by Andrew Zhong 2H
A: Did you hear? Copper just stole a bunch of electrons from Zinc!

B: That's absolutely shocking! I was positive they would get along too!

A: Oh well. Hope they find a solution to this dilemma soon.

B: I do too, but something tells me that no amount of salt can bridge this relationship. I'd say that their friendship is as good as dissolved.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:04 pm
by Krista Yang 1C
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:14 pm
by gingy 1K
my favorite

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:16 pm
by a_jeny2E
I have many chemistry jokes, but I am just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:40 pm
by Yeon Hee Park 3M
I would be like..

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:54 pm
by wesley hardin
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon. lol

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:02 pm
by John Ly 2I
I love chemistry jokes hahaha and this is cute.
(also a way to remember what cations are :D)

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:03 pm
by Gabriela_2E
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:07 pm
by Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL
LOST AN ELECTRON....YOU REALLY HAVE TO KEEP AN ION THEM.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:10 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
Image

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:10 pm
by Gonzalez_Liliana_1K
First man orders "I'd like H2O". The second man orders "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:14 pm
by Jessica_Nakahira_1G
I'm not sure if the image is visible in my previous post, but it says

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:14 pm
by Sally_Tu_1H
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

Because it is basic material.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:16 pm
by Matthew Yeganeh 3M
Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?
Because it was charged with battery

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:34 pm
by Chelsey_Schaum1H
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:38 pm
by Jason Duong 1D
Q: Why do white bears dissolve in water?

A: Because they are polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:45 pm
by Andrew M 2J
Which elements are always surprise each other?
Oxygen and Magnesium, OMg!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:50 pm
by Amy_Dixon_1I
IMG_1764.JPG
IMG_1764.JPG (41.56 KiB) Viewed 5773 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:51 pm
by Anisha Patel 1G
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into water, which one will dissolve faster?

The one in Alaska, because it's polar.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:54 pm
by melissasandoval2O
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:06 pm
by Emily_Vilshtein_3B
6c32d82ddf3dbbe84c9bda193382e3b1.jpg
6c32d82ddf3dbbe84c9bda193382e3b1.jpg (10.38 KiB) Viewed 5773 times

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:12 pm
by Esteban Espinoza
chem chem joke.jpg
chem chem joke.jpg
chem chem joke.jpg

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:22 pm
by giareyes_2B
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:25 pm
by Luigivar 2F
If the Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up, they would be ALLOYS!!!

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:28 pm
by Adam Wojnar 1K
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I have many degrees."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:29 pm
by Rodri_Karla_1J
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you," said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:38 pm
by Daniel-1G
what element is a woman's best friend?

Carbon.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:39 pm
by Felicia Zhang 2J
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:46 pm
by Aleena_Sorf_2A
A piece of ice fell in love with a Bunsen burner...

"Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!" , said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:59 pm
by Keitty_Calderon_1C
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.


If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:59 pm
by Sarahi Garza 3k
Flirting...

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:03 pm
by Sophie_Ahmad_2F
Did you hear about the guy whose temperature got down to absolute zero?
Don't worry, he's 0 K.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:11 pm
by Thomas Morgan 1B
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:15 pm
by Chris Yeh 3D
Q: What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:24 pm
by Sarah Sackey_3G

Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:29 pm
by Tara_Hekmati_3B
Working in an electrochemistry lab seems to show great potential.